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How to Catch a Cougar

Before I make this sound as though I’m prowling for a mate – I’m not. Before I was married, I had shifted from preferring older men to preferring younger men. Most of it was the change in my attitude as I got older. Ironically, now I am married to a man a lot older than me, but that’s okay…my memories are sweet from those young bucks. And before the young ladies think I'm out to disrespect them, I'm not! I am completely aware you young, beautiful women have a lot to offer and in many cases have a lot less work to do to attract men. This is just a myTake reserved for the older women. :)

I’ve seen some topics over the last month concerning age, and whether or not people should date within a certain range depending on their own age, and I am usually first to say that it simply doesn’t matter. But in defense of the older woman, I like to think of 40 as being the new 30 (we're starting to look younger and be a bit more bold). We have a lot of experience, and less time to fuss over stupid crap, which I think is why we really are in our prime at this age, and why men love it.

I’ll split this up in to two parts. The benefits of dating an older woman, and how to attract us. Because we aren’t called cougars for nothing! *Rawr* *Purr*

How to Catch a Cougar

Auntie Ozanne’s Observation of the Cougar

1a. We have already learned a lot of lessons from our younger dating days. We are over trying to find the guy with a six pack, big penis, good job, good humour, lots of money, and great smile (all in one package) because we understand that we don’t live in the movies. We don’t settle – instead we are more experienced, and realize no one is perfect. So we look for someone “perfect for us”, whatever our perfect may be. We make allowances for things we never could because we are finished with our Princess Complex.

2a. We may have already had our first marriage or long relationship(s) and don’t need to pressure a guy after all we’ve been through. We’ve done the wedding-thing, the house, maybe the kids, and just look for someone who will please us instead of looking after us. We’re careful not to get in to commitments that most guys are scared of because we already went through it all, maybe even in haste and realize it didn’t get us anywhere. You can be rest-assured that we aren't going to rush you.

3a. We can be trusted. Older women have had their hearts broken enough times to understand what really hurts. We might have even suffered the backlash of our own mistakes and now want to move on. We know it means more to be honest and not to try and be cute thinking there will always be a tomorrow. We don’t want to waste time, so we put more effort in to what matters in to our relationships and friendships to save ourselves and each other any unnecessary hurt.

4a. We are reliable. We’re probably neck-deep in our careers and know how to survive on our own. We’ve got a car, got a place, and know how to cook. Our daddies no longer look after us and pay our bills. We already are ahead of the game and know how to do things ourselves, and actually prefer it now. If a man still looks for a strong, independent woman, but she’s reserved a bit of a traditional side, then an older woman will be perfect.

5a. We really don’t sweat the small stuff. So you didn’t text us back. Big whoopdee-doo. So you said something sort of stupid, or you decided to hang out with your friends for the night. We don’t have the insecurities that we had when we were younger, and we really don’t care to break off a relationship or cause a riff over something small. We look back on that small stuff and realize what a waste of time it was to be so upset over silly things. We’re more forgiving of all that because it’s called life and we understand that mistakes are made.

How to Catch a Cougar

How to Catch a Cougar

(I know, these tips can apply to trying to attract all of us women, but I especially think these are more important as we get older.)

1b. Lose the frat-boy friends. We are over that time in our lives and we have a lot more to focus on than partying. If you want to get over that too, it means learning to wean yourself from the extended teenage years and join us in adult-life.

2b. Don’t expect us to change what we can’t or won’t. It’s true, our breasts might sag a bit more, and we might have some noticeable veins creeping up on our feet, but if you criticize us for aging, or suggest some surgery to be the babe you really want, then we have better things to do and better people to be around who will accept us for the inevitable. Relish in the beauty we have already, and be sincere about it. We can tell with years of experience if you mean it.

3b. Don’t change who you are. If we dig you because you’re younger, then don’t try and act like you’re twenty years older. It’s one thing to ditch the partying-lifestyle, but if you make sudden changes to your appearance such as wearing dress shirts when you didn’t before, or you suddenly have Harry Connick Jr playing in your car, we know when you’re just doing something to impress us when it’s not genuine. We don’t automatically look for someone who appears mature thinking they are just catching up to us. We were attracted to your vibrancy to begin with, and hoped you would make us feel youthful too.

4b. Have some ambition. A cougar doesn’t want to feel like a foster mom. If the guy doesn’t even have a goal of what he wants to be when he grows up, we will ultimately feel as though we have to walk with them during their baby-steps to figure it out. We already went through our college days of feeling free with wings on our feet. Now, we understand that it’s important to have some stability. Note, there is a difference between the Cougar and the Sugar-Mama. Even if you make a declaration that you want to be the world’s greatest banjo picker on a street corner, have some ambition to let us know that you have some fire in the belly to be great at something.

5b. Give us a conversation orgasm. We absolutely love intelligence, and if you can scratch our brains with good conversation and invite us to talk about what we know from our own experiences, you’ll win us over a lot easier. We might be in our sexual prime, and believe me, you’ll get it good when the talking’s over, but we know how to reserve that time to focus on real life and good conversation before we give it all up for you. We know what happens from one night stands and we might make you work a bit harder. But it will be worth it.

How to Catch a Cougar

How to Catch a Cougar
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Illusive_Man

    *taking notes
    You're making a very convincing case there I'll say @Ozanne
    Good myTake.
    I like it.

    Tho the part about "giving people conversational orgasms" might be one that requires some extra polishing of my dull tongue and squeaky brain and of course there's the worry that I'm not sure what a younger person can bring to the table besides from companionship.

    Obviously a person with dirt on her boots and sand behind her ears is gonna be more experienced and knowledgeable about the face of reality. While a youngling who despite of his best efforts will only be able to dance on the sheets of paper as he rocks back and fro on his armchair like the armchair general that he is.

    Perhaps... that's just me speaking about my insecurities after realizing how big the world is... and how little I've tread and how little of the sky I'm studied. Then again , I do find the company of an older woman to be one that is more comforting but... I probably shouldn't say that or I'm gonna be coming off as Mr Oedipus ha.

    I wonder if these qualities of the cougars.
    Honesty and disdain for games.

    I wonder if they can be found among the younglings or if it is something that can only be gained by spending time under the sun.
    The mind grows curious.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Ozanne

      If you speak the same way you write, you should have no issues, handsome youngling.

    • I blame procrastinating mid-essay writing ha.
      Good gravy , now only if I can cough up a passage like that as easily as I can on things that matter LOL

Most Helpful Girl

  • sephylove

    I honestly thought this take was going to be how to catch an actual cougar in the jungle and someone was going to a step by step process LOL.
    But anyways, I am not disappointed, good read!

    Is this still revelant?
    • Ozanne

      Oh dear. Maybe some wildlife rescue site link should have been included in this then! :) (You made me laugh!)

    • Blue35

      Same I thought she was going to go Steve Irwin on us khaki shorts and all

What Girls & Guys Said

  • Zamac

    When I say to some people that women's prime is far from happening on their 20s but it usually comes since 35+ they think I'm crazy... :)

    The "Princess Complex" is a brilliant definition of what makes some younger girls so freaking boring and unnatractive - even if they are like 11+ out of 10 in their looks.

    Good take. ;)

  • aniemist

    Interesting take, I've never thought about this that much before. I've experienced much of what you have said including girls who have what you called a "Princess Complex". I tried to make them happy , but they didn't much give a damn if I was, at least it seemed that way to me. At this point in my life I am starting to learn some of the lessons you have already learned but I have a ways to go. It was a good myTake and gave me something to think about.

    • Ozanne

      Nice to know! :D Thank you

  • NovaLS
  • LittleSally

    I agree with these points - but I also agree that every self respecting woman is going to demand these things - her being 20 or 40...

    • Ozanne

      I agree. I did cover that when I said this:
      "(I know, these tips can apply to trying to attract all of us women, but I especially think these are more important as we get older.)"

    • ^-^

      ___________ So true.

  • Scrambled

    I love this take, its so true. I have only attracted cougars lately (I struggle with women my age or younger). Every point you mentioned in attracting a cougar worked for me. I just stayed me and met them for awesome, open conversations around great glasses of wine. And it always led to sex. In fact, my number was being handed out to other older women, recommended by older women and I was told I should be a gigolo. I suppose I do have a good job, six pack and a sense of humour that helped (violating your 1a of cougar observation). I was their sex toy. The other thing that I truly believe and something I probably projected, was that I didn't mind the older bodies at all. I know I will age one day and suffer the same fate and wouldn't want anyone to not have sex due to it. Some of these cougars though (40-45yr) had better bods than some of my younger female friends. Just saying.

    • Ozanne

      My boobs have earned their size over time. ;)

    • Scrambled

      You go girl! flaunt those charismatic boobs:)

  • Harris94

    i m 21 nw... my neighbour is 40... she s too gorgeousss... i want to be in a good relationship with her.. i rubbed her tits so many timess i thnk she knows tht i rubbing her tits nd she refuses me frm rubbing... sometims she simply allows me... i can't able judge her... is she ready to have a relationship with me?

  • Cowboy6666

    Teens, young girls n milfs are always welcomed to catch me anytime. 😎

    Nice one.!

    • Ozanne

      Well you're at the purrrrrfect age to attract them all, aren't you? :)

  • blondfrog

    Lol hahah this is awesome :). I've seen a good amount of hot cougars there was this one woman who was the cashier at the school store and we used to flirt a good amount her flirting made my Anatomy and physiology tests seem more fun and numb.

  • Koldhearted

    I like older women :)

    I just don't know how to talk to or even meet one though :\

    Who should be the aggressor?

    Think one could go for me?

  • John_Doesnt

    With plenty of single younger women, why? I'm not ready to settle for an older woman. I'd like to think I can still find a woman closer to my age or younger than me.

  • Rissyanne

    I can really relate to this take. I have dated younger men and you are right on. I am now with a guy around my age... but I also have some fond memories.

  • peachblossomluck

    Wow! You're a fantastic writer and this take was spot on:)

  • FakeName123

    I definitely would prefer to have the actual animal close by. Like, how can you not want to cuddle them?

  • SuitAndTie

    Good take! I love older women much more than younger women and always have!

  • RainbowFanGirl

    What age is a women considered a cougar? Sorry if you mentioned it in the take, I just skimmed lightly through it. :)

  • Kountry_King

    All I wanna, know is where can I find me a cougar lol

  • CountVronsky

    Nice take! I want to find a cougar, but I think I'm running out of time :/

  • chrisbigman

    The mid-section of "How to catch a cougar" is checked off.

    • Ozanne

      Then you should be appealing to just about every woman out there. ;)

    • Then, I should put myself back out there.

    • Thanks!

    • Show All
  • creepycreeper

    Not interested in cougars.

  • BelleGirl21

    I love this take! :)

  • singlebee

    That last pic made me laugh... Hahaha...😂

  • becca123

    Haha, this is great!

  • BertMacklinFBI

    takes me back to my bar hopping days ;)

  • JackTyler

    Interesting take

  • LonelyLillie13

    this was great.

  • Octavius

    *Whispers* Who's Harry Connick Jr?

  • Keyspirits

    I'd take u home anyday baby Ozanne 💋

  • atomique

    Its important to be sincere

  • Anonymous

    Sexual prime is like 22. It's all downhill after 30. Congers might be more experienced, but their bodies are certainly not in their prime. Hell. A 40 year old having a baby is dangerous isn't it?

  • Anonymous

    You're 40? I'm hoping to try and get a 40 myself. She lives 3000 miles away though, I'm 26, she looks 26

    • Ozanne

      I'll be 41 in a few weeks. :)

  • Anonymous

    "Women age like fine wine." Nothing wrong with saggy breasts or veins, it is all part of aging, and gives a woman a more mature look which I find very sexy.

    • Floyd790

      Men age better.

    • Bards

      @Floyd790 one sex doesn't age better than the other lool

  • Anonymous

    Good take. :)
    I love older women.

    I have one question though, do cougars prefer younger guys to be submissive or dominant (especially in bed)? Normally the expectation is on the guy to be dominant but the age (and probably financial) element here makes it more confusing.

    • Floyd790

      The guy should still be dominant i take it.

  • Anonymous

    "I like to think of 40 as being the new 30"... ok women age 40 still look 40 and not 30yo, so...

    However GL with you cougaring and make the bed of those young men rock :)

    • Ozanne

      Well, as I mentioned I'm not looking, and in my case, yes, I do get pegged for looking younger. :) For a lot of women, 'looking 40' isn't the same as it was ten or twenty years ago, and it's not the obvious with change of style. Women like Jennifer Aniston, when she turned 40, she just didn't look or seem 40. She's not the only one. :)

    • Anonymous

      True, Jennifer Aniston is hot even if she is over 40... but let's be honest, most men and women 40+ have really fallen in the looks department.