"Why do girls like bad boys?"
"Why am I attracted to this person?"
"Does he/she like me?"
"Why did he/she say/do that to me?"
....or even "How can I be loved by girls/guys?"
Let me try to give you an answer to all these questions, with just one theory!
First of all, I don't claim this theory to be mine, I picked bits and pieces up along the way. I now look at it as a general truth. Maybe another reason why I'm writing this article, as all critics on this theory are appreciated.
Second, I call this "The Law of Attraction" with a specific purpose. As all of you know, we are all subjected to the Law of Gravity. Because we can describe and explain this law, does NOT mean that we are no long subjected to it. We can however use it to our benefit.
This is what I'm trying to describe in this "Law of Attraction": You might know how attraction works, it won't change the fact that you'll be attracted to certain persons. Though it can help you to control who YOU attract.
OK here we go!
If you take another look at the questions mentioned above, you probably won't have a problem noticing that a key factor to all these (and many other) questions is ATTRACTION.
I define attraction: An invisible power in a body by which it draws anything to itself.
So basically, what ALL these questions are asking is: "How do I control attraction?" "Attraction" is many things! BUT these many things can all be divided in 3 categories!
These 3 categories/factors of attraction are: "EXCITEMENT", "MYSTERY" and "HUMOR". Control these factors, and you control attraction. They perfectly explain why everyone LIKES the nice guy, but no one LOVES the nice guy.
As women are more emotional (out of evolutionary sight: women have the most important job in raising and caring for their babies )it is important to notice that these 3 factors are based on emotions and not reason. It is therefore I believe this theory to be most effective for men to control, but definitely equal important for women to know why you get attracted to some guys and not to others.
Excitement may not sound important or of any extreme relevance to you when it comes to flirting or love. But believe me on this one, IT IS.
I want you to think of the last time you were excited by the knowledge that you were going to see someone (a friend, a band, ...), the excitement you felt when you got a letter from a friend, the excitement of presents with Christmas!
Now wasn't that a good feeling? I predict in some cases even better than the actual meeting or actually reading the letter or actually opening the present..
It's easy to explain: schrödinger's cat (with the only difference that he explains quantum mechanics with it, I'll explain attraction with it)! If you don't know this thought-experiment, it comes down to the fact that as long as you haven't opened the box, the cat is death and alive at the same moment. This is the same thing that happens when you have this present in front of you: You imagine inside so many different possible things. And at this point, all of this is true in your mind and in there. You will only narrow the possibilities down to 1 when you open it, and therefor it may sometimes be very disappointing.
**Main point of excitement: You'll very likely be attracted to someone who created/creates excitement within you.
**Stupid examples of how to apply this to daily life: When you talk to someone at a bar, say: "OMG You know what happened yesterday!? But just a sec, gonna get a beer first." And while you're away her/his imagination will start rolling about what you're going to tell.
Just an example to loosen your thoughts of how to create excitement. BE CREATIVE.
Mystery goes hand in hand with excitement. Mystery is probably the main reason why "nice guys" aren't loved. They lack any form of mystery. To people they are a dot like this: "." It makes them "nice" as they are predicatively and therefor belong to everyone's "safe-zone". In science, you can compare them with neutrons. We, electrons and protons, can all be around them but even when we're standing next to them, we'll always be attracted a thousand times more to those electrons or protons a mile away.
WHY? Simple: They are static. They do not create any form of emotion. Be the mystery and the person person you want will be excited about you.
This is btw, the most easy factor of attraction to control. Do not show yourself before he/she tries to find out who you are. And do not just throw yourself out there on the table, let her/him pull it out of you. Everyone loves mystery. Some say they don't just because they need control of their environment and thus right there, you keep them from that control. OF COURSE you have to open what he's/she's fishing for when the time is right, other wise it becomes an attraction killer .
This is simply based on the power of success, but maybe even important, the appreciation for own success. Small example to clear things up: When do you appreciate the success of drinking water the most? When it's there in front of you on the table, or when you had to run a mile through the desert to get it? Create the desert.
Important: - Mystery does not mean you do not tell anything about yourself or you are more silent than talking. Just find the right balance for your target. Be honest, no one likes the guy/girl who talks all day about him/herself. Just to show that mystery is important. I can really go much more into depth in mystery if you want, let me know.
Creating attraction**Stupid examples of how to apply this to daily life: When you went on a date or met someone whatever, and you're on the point of saying goodbye, try NOT saying: "I had a great time! Let's do this again sometimes soon!" This sentence might feel very good to say as you really mean it, but you just killed every mystery around "what did you think of the date". SO if you don't say this and just get home, she or he will actually be wondering what you thought of the date, if you had fun or not, if you want to do it again. He/She is thinking about you when you are not there -> Attraction.
- Be creative, stay exciting
- Do not just throw yourself out there on the table - mystery is interesting
- Be honest
- Appreciate humor
- Push him/her away, and pull him/her back
MYSTERY CREATES EXCITEMENT. Remember, remember, ...
Last but not least, humor! I keep this short! I promise I'll try ;) I believe humor is the glue that keeps it all together. And hey, try to find me a person who doesn't like humor. Humor will help you create the mystery dance around the facts. "Humor creates happiness. And humor eases stress and worry." "Laughter is credited with increasing the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers and protectors against depression."
These are all scientific statements of the biological and physiological importance of laughter and humor.
"Humor will help you create the mystery dance around the facts. "
If you worry, DON'T! Everyone is funny in their own ways. And as everyone likes different styles of humor, i believe there are many with the same level and taste of it like you ;). Some will have it harder than others, no doubt. And if you're not the master of being funny, maybe go for a comedy instead of a drama when you're going to see a movie. ;)
Just saying that having FUN and LAUGHING can be triggered by others than you.
If you make someone laugh or just having fun, you make them happy. And happiness is one big ass attraction maker. Everyone loves to be around people who make them happy and forget all the trouble they have.
If you made it through here! Keep on reading, We're very near the end :)
I hope you realized that attraction is dynamic, therefor these 3 factors of attraction should give you a lot of opportunity to push and pull a person. It's very important that you do both. Push him/her away, and pull him/her back. This is what helps you create emotion and therefor attraction.
It is because of this that women will keep going out with that one douche bag you all know while even she knows he's cheating on her. the fact that he creates all these emotions in her (joy, laughter, crying, anger, hopelessness, ...) is what attracts her to him. Emotions are a drug. Variation in serving them to your target is crucial to excitement.
I believe all of this actually explains why girls might not end up with whom they thought they would, just saying that you all know how girls define their perfect boyfriend: "nice, sweet, caring, open, tall, respectful to me, honest, faithful, loyal, ............." Don't believe all that much of it. There is more they desire they barely know of themselves. And to girls who read this, shoot me if I'm terribly wrong :)
Chocolate contains substances called Phenylethylamine and Serotonin, both of which, are mood lifting agents. Keep it in mind when you're choosing cookies for a date ;)
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Love you all,
much luv and kisses xx