The Law of Attraction

There has been said and asked a lot about different subject which to me seem very similar and even connected. I'm talking about questions like:

"Why do girls like bad boys?"
"Why am I attracted to this person?"
"Does he/she like me?"
"Why did he/she say/do that to me?"
....or even "How can I be loved by girls/guys?"

Let me try to give you an answer to all these questions, with just one theory!

First of all, I don't claim this theory to be mine, I picked bits and pieces up along the way. I now look at it as a general truth. Maybe another reason why I'm writing this article, as all critics on this theory are appreciated.

Second, I call this "The Law of Attraction" with a specific purpose. As all of you know, we are all subjected to the Law of Gravity. Because we can describe and explain this law, does NOT mean that we are no long subjected to it. We can however use it to our benefit.

This is what I'm trying to describe in this "Law of Attraction": You might know how attraction works, it won't change the fact that you'll be attracted to certain persons. Though it can help you to control who YOU attract.

OK here we go!

If you take another look at the questions mentioned above, you probably won't have a problem noticing that a key factor to all these (and many other) questions is ATTRACTION.

I define attraction: An invisible power in a body by which it draws anything to itself.

So basically, what ALL these questions are asking is: "How do I control attraction?" "Attraction" is many things! BUT these many things can all be divided in 3 categories!

These 3 categories/factors of attraction are: "EXCITEMENT", "MYSTERY" and "HUMOR". Control these factors, and you control attraction. They perfectly explain why everyone LIKES the nice guy, but no one LOVES the nice guy.

As women are more emotional (out of evolutionary sight: women have the most important job in raising and caring for their babies )it is important to notice that these 3 factors are based on emotions and not reason. It is therefore I believe this theory to be most effective for men to control, but definitely equal important for women to know why you get attracted to some guys and not to others.

Gogus olculeri


Excitement may not sound important or of any extreme relevance to you when it comes to flirting or love. But believe me on this one, IT IS.

I want you to think of the last time you were excited by the knowledge that you were going to see someone (a friend, a band, ...), the excitement you felt when you got a letter from a friend, the excitement of presents with Christmas!

Now wasn't that a good feeling? I predict in some cases even better than the actual meeting or actually reading the letter or actually opening the present..

It's easy to explain: schrödinger's cat (with the only difference that he explains quantum mechanics with it, I'll explain attraction with it)! If you don't know this thought-experiment, it comes down to the fact that as long as you haven't opened the box, the cat is death and alive at the same moment. This is the same thing that happens when you have this present in front of you: You imagine inside so many different possible things. And at this point, all of this is true in your mind and in there. You will only narrow the possibilities down to 1 when you open it, and therefor it may sometimes be very disappointing.

**Main point of excitement: You'll very likely be attracted to someone who created/creates excitement within you.

**Stupid examples of how to apply this to daily life: When you talk to someone at a bar, say: "OMG You know what happened yesterday!? But just a sec, gonna get a beer first." And while you're away her/his imagination will start rolling about what you're going to tell.

Just an example to loosen your thoughts of how to create excitement. BE CREATIVE.


Mystery goes hand in hand with excitement. Mystery is probably the main reason why "nice guys" aren't loved. They lack any form of mystery. To people they are a dot like this: "." It makes them "nice" as they are predicatively and therefor belong to everyone's "safe-zone". In science, you can compare them with neutrons. We, electrons and protons, can all be around them but even when we're standing next to them, we'll always be attracted a thousand times more to those electrons or protons a mile away.

WHY? Simple: They are static. They do not create any form of emotion. Be the mystery and the person person you want will be excited about you.

This is btw, the most easy factor of attraction to control. Do not show yourself before he/she tries to find out who you are. And do not just throw yourself out there on the table, let her/him pull it out of you. Everyone loves mystery. Some say they don't just because they need control of their environment and thus right there, you keep them from that control. OF COURSE you have to open what he's/she's fishing for when the time is right, other wise it becomes an attraction killer .

This is simply based on the power of success, but maybe even important, the appreciation for own success. Small example to clear things up: When do you appreciate the success of drinking water the most? When it's there in front of you on the table, or when you had to run a mile through the desert to get it? Create the desert.

Important: - Mystery does not mean you do not tell anything about yourself or you are more silent than talking. Just find the right balance for your target. Be honest, no one likes the guy/girl who talks all day about him/herself. Just to show that mystery is important. I can really go much more into depth in mystery if you want, let me know.

Creating attraction
  • Be creative, stay exciting
  • Do not just throw yourself out there on the table - mystery is interesting
  • Be honest
  • Appreciate humor
  • Push him/her away, and pull him/her back
**Stupid examples of how to apply this to daily life: When you went on a date or met someone whatever, and you're on the point of saying goodbye, try NOT saying: "I had a great time! Let's do this again sometimes soon!" This sentence might feel very good to say as you really mean it, but you just killed every mystery around "what did you think of the date". SO if you don't say this and just get home, she or he will actually be wondering what you thought of the date, if you had fun or not, if you want to do it again. He/She is thinking about you when you are not there -> Attraction.

MYSTERY CREATES EXCITEMENT. Remember, remember, ...


Last but not least, humor! I keep this short! I promise I'll try ;) I believe humor is the glue that keeps it all together. And hey, try to find me a person who doesn't like humor. Humor will help you create the mystery dance around the facts. "Humor creates happiness. And humor eases stress and worry." "Laughter is credited with increasing the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers and protectors against depression."

These are all scientific statements of the biological and physiological importance of laughter and humor.
"Humor will help you create the mystery dance around the facts. "

If you worry, DON'T! Everyone is funny in their own ways. And as everyone likes different styles of humor, i believe there are many with the same level and taste of it like you ;). Some will have it harder than others, no doubt. And if you're not the master of being funny, maybe go for a comedy instead of a drama when you're going to see a movie. ;)

Just saying that having FUN and LAUGHING can be triggered by others than you.

If you make someone laugh or just having fun, you make them happy. And happiness is one big ass attraction maker. Everyone loves to be around people who make them happy and forget all the trouble they have.


If you made it through here! Keep on reading, We're very near the end :)

I hope you realized that attraction is dynamic, therefor these 3 factors of attraction should give you a lot of opportunity to push and pull a person. It's very important that you do both. Push him/her away, and pull him/her back. This is what helps you create emotion and therefor attraction.

It is because of this that women will keep going out with that one douche bag you all know while even she knows he's cheating on her. the fact that he creates all these emotions in her (joy, laughter, crying, anger, hopelessness, ...) is what attracts her to him. Emotions are a drug. Variation in serving them to your target is crucial to excitement.

I believe all of this actually explains why girls might not end up with whom they thought they would, just saying that you all know how girls define their perfect boyfriend: "nice, sweet, caring, open, tall, respectful to me, honest, faithful, loyal, ............." Don't believe all that much of it. There is more they desire they barely know of themselves. And to girls who read this, shoot me if I'm terribly wrong :)

Chocolate contains substances called Phenylethylamine and Serotonin, both of which, are mood lifting agents. Keep it in mind when you're choosing cookies for a date ;)
<br /Feedback would be cool :)

Love you all,
much luv and kisses xx
The Law of Attraction
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • blue_magic2002
    i believe this. I once went out with a very very handsome man, then he told me he likes me afterward, then he began telling lots of stories about himself, then told me he really had a great time, blah blah blah. he's not funny nor does he get it when I joke. Instantly, I felt irritated every time he messages me, and that was the last time I went out with him. I just felt that I wasn't attracted to him at all.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • pavlove
    i had all of this in perfect rotation, but the girl was tired by how difficult I was to unravel and how little control she had so she said I wasn't her type and I walked away. I think one thing to add is that you must threaten the other person with walking away AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because soon mystery turns into frustration, excitement has no room to stand on, and even good humor gets annoying.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • uluvshrainey
    @Zombiefood I agree that there are some "mysterious" behaviors I can't stand anymore. But Being mysterious doesn't always mean being "hard to read" imo. It just means the person is interested in finding out more about you. One way to do that is finding someone whose mind you click with. If you really click with him really well, you'll always want to know more about each other.
  • jdmkidd
    I don't agree with everything that convers the distinct way how we world as far as connection works. It may be because of the spirit, I think. You don't have to be any age in offered to be a nature relationship. If you did have your views set to a get point as far as a relationship goes then that's then way yo do it.
  • zombiefood
    you realize it's all stupid and pointless. So while some points you make are very valid I'd have to say that half of them only apply to non-grown up relationships. And no, you don't need to be 30, or even 20 to be in a grown up relationship. You just need to have some maturity about you.
  • zombiefood
    I see the logic in what you're saying but overall I'd have to say this is just so not true. Not for a lot of people. Once you grow up, become mature and all that sh*t you don't want mystery. You don't want surprises and that sh*t. You want a stable relationship with a good guy who loves you and cares about you, who treats you right and communicates well with you. This whole "bad boys" and "mystique" thing is for girls and boys, immaturity. Same with this desire to chase someone. Once you grow up
  • Kimin
    Thanks for the comments/ratings/kind words! :)

    to girlsareconfusing: Creating hints that you're interested is a good thing! Otherwise there's less "use" for her to get attracted and she might block it if she's feeling any. And you should show your true feelings, but not "just like that". This is what I'm talking about when I mentioned that you should create that desert. Gently show your feelings when you know she's after them. She wouldn't be looking if she didn't want to find them..
  • ellaselea
    Where is the "Like" button?!?! xD I love your article. You are absolutely right, women are emotional creatures. Yeah and about the mystery thing... I think that you are right but I'm not sure. I do like it when a guy tells me how thinks about me, but I think that I only like the feeling, that someone likes me.
  • Kimin
    I guess it's not always easy to fully understand all of this. You might need to read it carefully or twice to get the whole picture of this theory. That's why I think it's important that you keep these 3 keywords in mind when you're analysing something that happened. It'll open up the meaning and give a better look at the foundation of these key factors to attraction that are everywhere and always around you. You'll see you can link practically everything to them.

    Sorry for language mistakes!
  • curiousmaleaboutvag
    You have some good points here, but there will always be flaws even when following a plan like this. For example your mystery example, although I agree with you that it is good to not seem like you had such a fun time it is also not a good idea to not act like you did not enjoy it either. So this is where the whole balance thing comes in to play, you have to toy with it and know just how to react because you could end up hurting feelings. My friend dumped a guy because he did that mystery thing.
  • funkadelic5

    I'm actually gonna have to disagree here. I was dating a girl that was really intelligent and mature for her age (18). We had a good couple weeks, but she told me in the end she just wasn't attracted to me as much as initially - and it's really because I was too much of that boring good guy that cares. She was very grown up, but just really wanted someone more exciting. I think it really depends on the person. Being mature or not doesn't really make a significant difference imo.
  • Spirit156
    "nice, sweet, caring, open, tall, respectful to me, honest, faithful, loyal <-- got all of these still no relationship ever got past the 2 year mark... guess what.. the girls can't handle this all at once :p
  • Yeahhbro
    this is pretty good, but its very hard to create mystery without looking like you are not interested. Also girls always wine that they don't like when guys don't show their true feelings. Also do girls ever want to find out about guys? I always hear them that guys have to brake to their walls for them to get to know girls, before they get to know guys.
  • harveykinkle
    Wow. Usually everything I see on here is crap but this was very good. Well written and entertaining! Good for you :)
  • bigbang654
    I think in the end attraction is just attraction. You don't really know why. I think it has to do with spirit. People fall when they scared or deny?
  • hockeyrulesforever
    I love how you managed to throw in all those scientific facts! Being a science student I loved it:)
  • moniquinha
    This is a great article...pretty much sums it up. Good read :)
  • rUinSAYAN
    I stopped doing this as I tought that one girl was special/soulmate. This is my bread and butter. no attraction play, no girls!
  • thehunter699
    Mad (: thanks!
  • andre251
    Facebook = the attraction killer of a new person
  • JustAnOpinion
    This is excellent :)
  • justice43093
    Thanks for the advice
  • ForeverYours39
    <3 this