I made a fake Tinder account and caught my boyfriend flirting. Now what?

[Anonymous]

I recently caught my boyfriend of over two years using Tinder. I saw he had the app on his phone and when I got the chance I looked at his pictures and found half naked pictures of girls. I made a fake Tinder account of a girl I knew he'd think was hot and sure enough we were a match. We flirted back and forth for two days (while him and I were hanging out together!) and then I showed him the messages and asked why he was doing it. He said I'd never understand but he has never cheated on me. Stuff like this has been going on basically our entire relationship. He feels really bad about it and he says he knows he messed up and doesn't deserve me, but can I even trust he's not just going to go back to doing this? Am I wrong to consider this cheating?

[Hannah591]

This is emotional cheating. He should be devoting his flirty times for you. Actually, my boyfriend today was overly yet humorously flirting with me. Your boyfriend should be doing that, not to other girls. You should tell him to imagine how he'd feel if you were doing the same. I'm pretty sure he'd leave you if were. I think you should leave but if you can't, tell him to delete his Tinder account (why does he need it anyway? It's a dating app) because you can't trust him anymore. But then again, a relationship without trust isn't a relationship at all. It's up to you.

[PinkAcid]

thats cheating in my eyes, you go on tinder to hook up with people so of course he's going to deny seeing anyone else to get out of trouble. dump him if he's done that your whole relationship behind your back he's not worth staying with. why use tinder and flirt with women if you're happy in a relationship? he obviously knew he was doing wrong because he hid it from you

[lumos]

If you don't trust him, I don't see your relationship going anywhere. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If he doesn't have a problem with hitting on girls on tinder (or even girls in general, who knows), then you kinda need to break up with him. He's acting as if he isn't even in a relationship.

[FreeLunch]

He's probably always going to engage in this type behaviour. I don't think someone who does this will stop. That being said it might or not be cheating. Who knows if he would ever act on it. Did you get that feeling while fake talking to him, that he wanted to meet-up or anything like that?

If he's just anonymously flirting online, you have to decide whether that's a problem or not.

[kcjmo]

Why would you want to stay in a relationship like that? No kids or marriage. Leave and find someone else, even if it takes years. It's better than being in a relationship with someone like that.

[SaVes]

What your boyfriend did was not okay, but honestly, what you did wasn't much better either. You both kind of betrayed each other. Maybe this relationship isn't meant to be, when you both act dubiously like that with each other.

[bubbiexo]

What you did was crappy, but what he did was crappier... Baiting him was not right but I guess he was doing it anyway. Really all you can so is break up because he isn't as invested as you are.

[juggaloscrub]

In my opinion you don't need to have sex to cheat. He's well on his way to actually acting on it in my opinion.

The way I see it you flat out busted him and now he's back peddling to try and get out of it.

My advice is let him go.

[lamebabe]

This is cheating and he's not trust worthy. You should dump him.

[Ocicatlvr]

that is a type of cheating since tinder is a site for people to hook up with. and how do you know he didn't hook up with anyone?

[damondino]

I don't think either of you sound like you can be trusted if I am honest. Why be fake when you could just ask him?

[Hamburglar1]

If you can live with him doing it all the time, then go ahead and trust him. How do you know for sure that he never met with those girls?

[Cheeseburgers]

A guy did this to his SO and got flamed badly here for "setting her up."

I'm taking a seat to see if the result is the same.

[Ocicatlvr]

whoever flamed him is a fool , he S/O deserved to get flamed

[Asker]

Yes, he told me I set him up. But when stuff like this has happened in the past I've just talked with him about it for a bit and then moved on. Look where it has gotten us. Absolutely no where. So I took a different route this time. I mean if he wouldn't be using Tinder like this in the first place he wouldn't have been in this position.

[Ocicatlvr]

you seriously need to dump him , you can't trust him

[Cheeseburgers]

Honestly, I don't blame you for setting him up. To me personally, "But you didn't trust him/her!!" is horse shit in comparison to the bigger issue.

[Cheeseburgers]

What I 'don't' like is that no one is criticizing you for it, but when a guy did the same thing he gets flamed.

[carebearagent]

No, you are not wrong. He is in a relationship, and in my opinion, shouldn't be out there.

[Anonymous]

Your so stupid!!! You should have never told him that you caught him trying to cheat with other girls. Just dump him.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Guess you break up.