Why don't guys talk to girls at the gym?

Question

I'm definitely a gym rat. I spend a lot of time working out, but don't like going out on the weekends to bars and such. The only way I think I'd be able to meet someone would be if they were to come up to me at a gym. A lot of guys look, but they don't come talk to me. I get it, I like to be in the zone too. But any advice on how to meet some good guys?

OfAfricandescent · Accepted Answer

I go to the gym to work out, and I was of the understanding that women at the gym are there to work out, and not get hit on. Plus as a guy there seems to be the risk that if you try to hit on a woman and she doesn't like it, she can report you. Which will lead to the (at the very least) gym staff speaking to you about your behavior and what it can mean to your membership.
It's probably worth looking for some kind of social event that involves other gym members. In the city I work in I saw an ad for some kind of yoga event for singles. I won't be going to that, but it sounds like something you might enjoy trying.

ConsultantIsBack · Accepted Answer

They think they are too cool for that. Seriously, lol. Read some of the comments on the take I wrote about this:

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If someone catches your eye talk to them after you're both done working out. Sitting around hoping someone is going to approach you will only get you so far...

TheDevilsAdvocate · Accepted Answer

Because that not what im there for, but i usually workout in a park instead.

skullly · Accepted Answer

So then YOU go talk to them... If it's not happening, make it happen!

WolfsHowl · Answer

Came across a question regarding this particular situation a while back.

Most of the women that responded seemed to say, "I don't like to be bothered when I'm sweating, yada yada..."

I think society needs to quit being so dense and break free from "traditional" rules when it comes to dating.

Even if I am literally covered in sweat, I wouldn't shrug off an adavnce from the opposite sex at the gym.

Just say "hi" to a dude you find attractive whether you're in line for a drink or waiting for a machine and see where he takes it, good luck.

Pedantic · Answer

Well I am by no means a gym rat but I do go three times per week for brief exercise. I don't approach girls mainly because I don't want my wife to get wind of it, lol (and I wouldn't anyway, haha).

I don't know about the single dudes but I suspect there is an understanding going on there that girls come to have a nice figure and get their exercise and the reasons for that could be anything -- to keep trim for a boyfriend, etc.. and that does NOT preclude them. In other words, I honestly think that in most of our minds it isn't any of our damn business and we mind our own.

If the gym you are at has social outings you can sign up for, then I think that is the way to do it if you are going to do it there.

Prof_Don · Answer

Out of all seriousness... you will need to start approaching the guy first every time.

No guy is going to approach in a high-rejection area like a gym, AND risk being labeled as a harasser and getting his membership revoked or suspended... just to talk to a girl when there are plenty other places to do so.

Skydas · Answer

The easiest way for a guy to open a conversation with a girl at the gym is if she is doing an exercise wrong and he comes to correct it :P When I am hitting the gym the only thing I am thinking of is working out.. Like I don't really give a shit about anything else. The other thing is that many people don't like being bothered while they work out. If you want to meet guys at the gym you could just ask for advice (even though I doubt you really need any from what you said) or for example if a guy is at a machine ask him when he is done with it and get the conversation going. Like he says he has only two sets and he finishes. Then you introduce yourself and next time you see the guy maybe greet him.

DarkHumorRUs · Answer

Cause girls will think they're creepy unless the guy is hot, but no guy wants to risk looking creepy.

ChocEyes · Answer

It's nothing against you. Usually people are very concentrated on their workouts and don't like distractions. And they assume you have the same opinion. An option would be trying to socialize outside the workout room itself. are there any cafeterias or stores or something in your gym?

Tdieseler · Answer

Im sorry, this is funny... its ironic as hell
@DarkHumorRUs told it as simply as ever... im 98% of situations, women just wanna be left alone to work out. and no one has time to go sifting for the remaining 2%. plus this is a GYM... with weights and stuff lol... funny enough, i read another article a few days ago saying how guys tend to approach women in the gym.. im dying laughing.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I go to the gym fairly often. I don't approach women there *probably* because I think they are there after work and they just want to unwind on not talk much. LOL Maybe I shouldn't think that way.

I'd say if you are interested in a guy there, find some way to strike up a conversation.

howzit2015 · Answer

because I am busy working out. and in my experience the women don't want you speaking to them either. So I do me and you do you. Just ask them about their workout routine or what supplement they consume. You could also ask them to help spot you, then strike up a convo after do your set.

Johnny567 · Answer

Well, for me, I am a weightlifter. When I go to the gym, and to be honest I do not give a damn about anything else besides my workout. I see a lot of attractive girls there, but my goals are really important to me

Mesonfielde · Answer

They most likely have zero clue that talking to you in that context is appropriate.

zagor · Answer

Are you serious? I usually figure women are there for the same reason I am, to work out. I often see women I would like to approach, but I feel like that would be invading their personal space and that they just want to be left alone to do their thing. Now if they smile and say hello in passing it might open the door, but to go up to a woman in the gym cold because I think she's attractive - no.

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

Look here, and start doing the approaching yourself.

NormalUser · Answer

Read this.   by me. You'll understand what you need to do :D

Transigence · Answer

Because there are usually draconian policies that state that you can have your membership revoked if you "harass" anyone, which is what you're asking us to do.

RedThread · Answer

Hmm I'm not exactly feeling sexy when I'm sweating at a gym..

Other_Tommy_Wiseau · Answer

i hear girls all the time say they don't like being hit on at the gym... so like most respectful dudes, i don't. also, i'm there to work out. also, if it's that big of a deal and/or noticeable, you can go up to them. there's not a law against it.

higgsboson · Answer

Because the media shames men for "objectifying" women with the "male gaze". Ask feminists for more details.

HighlanderTheOne · Answer

Girls have more reasons to go to the gym. Boys mostly one. It would be a huge risk for a man to try to hit on a girl. It's easier for girls.

TheAngryBanana · Answer

Well I can't speak for all guys on this but when it comes to the gym I am a very goal driven guy, I go their to work out and get my shit done first and formost so I will focus on myself and the trainning so thats my reason.

funexplorer · Answer

Well i that guys want to be respectful because some girls say they hate when guys hit on them when they are at the gym to only work out. So you can see guys trying to be respectful and give you girls your work out space.

apple24 · Answer

I think you should go to a fitness club class. Where you team with other people! So, you can talk to others.

Kirah · Answer

Because they often get shut down doing so. Try approaching a guy yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they can get kicked out permanently for talking to girls. One complaining girl is all it takes. Gyms cater to it with women-only hours too. But that's why. They don't want trouble.

tony72722 · Answer

I'm at the gym to train. I don't really talk to anyone else. As soon as I put my headphones on I'm in my zone.

Anonymous · Answer

Also the pressure that women create for guys. They worry they'll be shot down or put down hard in front of other guys or aren't enough for her company.

nakedalligator · Answer

When I'm at the gym I go there, do my workout and leave. that's it.

romain1985 · Answer

You're not a girl, are you? You know the answer. There are countless of articles detailing how men who approach women at the gym are like scum.

Anonymous · Answer

1. You can go talk to them. 2. It's weird to approach a girl in a gym. It doesn't seem appropriate.

Anonymous · Answer

Because there's little chance of it going well and a high chance of it going poorly. And if it goes poorly you might have to switch gyms or everyone will think he's a creep.

masterkamasutra · Answer

busy in imagine that how could i fuck that sexy chick, in that imagination forget to talk, although the dick is very eager for action.

Goldie757 · Answer

Because they are busy working out.

Anonymous · Answer

Because most of us guys are used to believing that's the main environment women prefer to be left alone

Anonymous · Answer

Because if I guy talks to a girl at the gym who does like him the he's sexually harassing her.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe they do not approach you because they are intimidated by you or you may seem arrogant to them

Femdomina · Answer

Maybe they are shy around pretty girls...

Keyspirits · Answer

The reason ur single is cuz ur too picky? ;P

Anonymous · Answer

Uhhh, because they get pissed off when you do?

Why don't guys talk to girls at the gym?

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