I've been seeing this a lot on GaG and it's been irking me. A lot of women don't understand the pessimistic mentality a lot of guys tend to have, and thought I'd help share what's going on. This take is pretty much my personal experience on why I wasn't able to approach that cute girl at the bar or at the gym.
And ladies, it's not about your looks. It's about the guy. For some reason girls just don't understand that it takes a lot of mental effort for most guys to approach someone they have never met and flirt with her. So much junk runs through our heads, either distracted by things going on around us, or running scenarious of literally everything that can go wrong if we just said 'hello' to you.
I'm going to provide a list of mental quotes from said guy, using myself as an example.
"She has a boyfriend. She's too beautiful not to have one.""I'm too young for her."
"One of those guys she's with is dating her already."
"She has a ring...oh she's definitely taken."
"She'll think I'm an idiot."
"What if I say something stupid?"
"What would happen if her boyfriend shows up?"
"I'm not ready."
"What if she things I'm ugly?"
"What if she thinks I'm a player?"
"What if she thinks I just want sex?"
"We won't have any interest."
"She's looks busy. I don't want to bother her."
"She's already having fun, I feel I'll make it awkward for her."
"I'll wait another minute."
"I'll wait for 2 more minutes."
"I'll see what happens in 5 minutes."
"I would like to talk to her, but I'm in the middle of something (even if I'm not.)"
"My workout is more important (even if I can spend 5 minutes of my time to talk to her.)"
"This is dumb, I don't need her (even if I really want to be with her.)"
"She's not my type (even though she totally is.)"
"She wouldn't go for short guys"
And how here's what goes through a guys mind when you're actively talking / flirting with him, or if he thinks he sees you checking him out.
"Is she looking at me? No, must be another guy."
"Maybe she'll come over here."
"God my smile looks dumb."
"Shit she saw me looking at her, turn away!"
"Is she flirting with me? I think that's just how she is with everyone."
"No, she couldn't mean that."
"I'm just imagining things."
"Nothing like this happens to me, why should I expect things to be different?"
"Is she trying to cheat on someone?""I hope her boyfriend doesn't get mad"
"What if she has to go with her friends?"
"What if her friends think I'm a creep?"
"I think I'm boring her."
"I feel too stressed to be amusing to her."
"This conversation has turned dead...I don't know what to say next."
So next time you say "Why doesn't he approach me?" just consider these quotes and you'll understand why and know what to anticipate. Knowing that any of these going through a guy's mind will help you become more comfortable with yourself, as well as even encourage you to be the one to approach a guy.