How often should you text/I.M. a potential girlfriend?

I'm fairly confident that a girl is interested in me, and I'm obviously interested in her. I keep hearing that guys should always initiate conversation and whatnot. How true is that?

Whats the line between showing interest in her and appearing needy?


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • k so coming from a girl's point of view, I say don't play games, like don't pour your heart out but like waiting a couple days to make her wonder why you haven't texted doesn't always work, girls know ALL about that game, and honestly it turns me off to the whole potential relationship.

    like I think to myself wow he's lame if he's gunna play games to try to get me interested in him,

    to me its worse then texting a lot, because in a way its trying harder when you don't text, to make them wonder...its also sneaky, and girls will only start wondering how you got that way, and why you need to do that.

    this is just my own personal opinion, you don't have to agree with it, but its just my pet peeve when guys play those games

    and when you text her have personality! I hat eit when guys are soooo boring over text, start a conversation that makes her anxious to see the answer! :) and don't ask her too many questions that gets sooo annoying

    • Haha, I'm not trying to play games! I'm just trying to win the games that she MIGHT be playing...

      *sigh* So confusing...

    • O :) lol ok then good and yeeeaaa girls always play games but not always on purpose. like I know I do but that's cause I overthink things

What Guys Said 1

  • Bro, I know exactly what your dealing with!

    I'm having the exact same dilemna. I have already posted a question similar to this and I have gotten a variety of answers. For the most part: Yea the guy is expected to be the one to initiate the conversation. Other guys advise texting or I.M.'ing NOT every day but leaving a gap in between texts and I.M.'s of a couple days (2-3 Days) Randomize it don't just make it 2 days make some gaps 3 days maybe even 4 days, sometimes texting two days in a row is acceptable (But don't overdo it!). Think about it: If you text her everyday she may get annoyed or irritated, whereas if you don't do it as often she'll start to wonder why you haven't texted her and then when she does get a text from you it will be that much more special to her.

    To initiate conversation try something simple: "Hey, how was your day?", or bringing up a previous conversation. For example: if she was talking about how hard a homework assignment was, text her asking how her homework went.

    Now about the line between being needy, here is my advice:

    If she were to ask you if you like any girls, be coy. Reply with "I have my eyes on one" and if she asks who: be truthful but play it off being cool. So if you tell her you like her and the next time you see her DONT let it get awkward, act as a friend normally would: If you guys hug, DONT all of a sudden just stop hugging. Also, don't start pouring out your feelings for her unless you two are having a heart to heart, pouring out your feelings could drive her away.

    Hope this helps, Good luck Bro!

    • Thanks for the advice man, I appreciate it. But does this mean I shouldn't expect her to initiate conversation? Because I can't really tell the difference between her waiting for me to text and her simply not wanting to text.

      However whenever I text her she does give really positive responses....

    • First off: Her positive responses are a PLUS

      Yea it sucks not knowing whether she is waiting for you to text (I hate these little mind games too!) or if she simply doesn't want to text. The only thing I can say about that is just: If she really wants to text she'll text.