Tips on flirting when you have Social anxiety / awkward and shy?

[Anonymous]

I have social anxiety im kinda awkward and im shy due to the social anxiety. If i like a guy (Which i do at my work)

how can i flirt (With ANY guy) without coming off awkward or trying to hard? My best friend seen me flirt and said im super awkward cause it seems like im trying to hard.

I need tips and advice! I dont want this to hold me back from dating anyone or finding "The one"

[Anonymous]

Certaint type of flirting will just come naturally if you actually like him but you should make sure every once and awhile you drop mad hints like for example the girl I'm seeing at a party took my hat that had my name on it in huge letters for the design and wore it the whole party it was an obvious hint that she liked me also to to "accidentally" touch him such as you touch his hand or his arm or whatever

[AverageMike]

I am also that way. But there is nothing you can do but get use to the feeling and you will never know until you try. What's the worst that could happen right. Some guys might even think its kinda cute that they make you act like that. So get in there a play ball lol.

[Asker]

But i dont wanna get in there and them get foul ball and the guy totally not like me... it's happned before where i THOUGHT he liked me / thought it was cute and it failed 100%

any tips on knowing if he likes you back?

[AverageMike]

When you talk too him keep eye contact but don't go googly eye psycho. if his eyes wonder or if he blushes, fidgets you prolly make him nervous and thats a good way to tell if he likes you.

[Asker]

what if he was saying something to me and then like kinda smiles alittle for no reason? ( Like a barely there smile but you can tell it a smile?

i have this weird thing where i wanna smirk (Or smile) when he talks to me I don't know why i just do, not a creeepy huge smile but like a little smirk and the other day he did that (The small smile thing) when he was explaining something to me

[AverageMike]

See what are you worried about you got this. first instinct is the best one. Seems to be this guy has something for you. Question is do you wanna wait for him too make a move.

[Asker]

Well the situation makes it difficult. He's sorta my assistant manager so Iddon't know if he or I could make a move... I'm unsure what to do next

[tiredofwaiting]

I am socially awkward and I don't have too much of an issue with flirting.

[Asker]

How? Please Help me!

How are you able to without being akward?

[tiredofwaiting]

Just be natural. I learnt to just flirt with body langage. Smile lots and make eye contact. Nobody is perfect at it. Pratice makes improvement. I guess it took me stepping out of my comfort zone. I do it so much I don't realize I am doing it. I don't think about it.

[Asker]

Thats kinda like me, i feel like i naturally flirtly but I've noticed with a guy i LIKE i become super awkward and it looks like im trying to hard (Which i usually Am) Or ill say something awkward or weird.

How can i do this with a guy i work with that i like? (Be natural that is)

[markml]

Being yourself is probably best, and if that comes off a little awkward, so be it.

"The one" is going to be someone who likes you the way you are, even if you're nervous, awkward, shy, at times little neurotic, and sometimes blurt out silly things.

By the way, there are plenty of guys who can relate to that. Any guy who has ever felt any degree of shyness or social anxiety is not going to judge it negatively in others, unless he is a total hypocrite.

But I would think that you want someone with empathy, and a dude with empathy is going to be touched that you're putting yourself out there at all for him, when it's obvious it's not easy for you.

I can't promise that your current crush has that empathy, because it's easy to like people who aren't right for us. But if they don't have enough empathy to understand your situation, then they're not "the one".

Also, it's nearly impossible for girl to come off as "trying too hard", especially a girl with social anxiety. The only thing that is "trying too hard" is if the guy has made it very clear that he is not interested in you, and you're still going after him.

But it's much more likely that the guy won't know you're interested at all, because you're afraid of "trying too hard". So you really need to try to dismiss this fear if at all possible, because it's not productive. Your friend is not helping you.

The only other thing you want to avoid is throwing out lies, because you're nervous. Like making up an excuse not to see a guy because you're nervous. A guy may interpret that as a blow off, or if he thinks you're sending mixed signals, he may start to believe you're playing a game. Much better to be super awkward than to come off as playing a game.

[NJ_Casanova]

Being around friends will help... support.
Alcohol, in moderation will make you relax.
Don't ry to force it, talk about things you like, or ask him about himself.

[davidpossey]

best advice i can give you is stop think about it and being in your head just be in the moment relax and have fun with it dont everything you say and do go with the flow

[Dingsbums]

Ähm you can't xD best is to get some confidence first but it can be cute to sound/behave awkward..
You can also try to fake your confidence but that most of the time doesn't work

[Entity]

Just introducing yourself is enough.

[Asker]

what about at my work? where the guy KNOWS my name

[Entity]

Talk about the things you share in common. Talk about your projects.

[Asker]

Thats good advice buuuut as soon as i would try i get nervous and thats weird i have like word vomit and become awkward and weird or it seems like im trying to hard

[Asker]

*When

[Entity]

That is okay. Most people are nervous so being outwardly nervous works also as a form of flirtation. You are giving the same signals of liking the person just in a different way. All that is needed is for you to act. You'll adapt, or try, as you go.

[Asker]

Im not great at picking up signals from guys... any tips on knowing if he's flirting back or likes me too?

Thanks

[Entity]

He'll likely smile and work with you if you are stumbling if he likes you and stare at your eyes when you talk. He'll also face you and square off as a sign of giving attention and open his stance to improve his own subtle masculinity presuming he isn't totally unconfident or confused.

[Asker]

stumbling? like if i needed help with something... Ummmm im 95% pretty sure i've noticed he does ALL of that...

few things he's done is i was putting away things and he was not far from me and he's like (My name) sing Christmas songs with me and we liked joked and talked for few minutes.

buuuut he had also said hi to me before when i first started my shift then randomly when i been at work for awhile he said Hi to me AGAIN. and also it was slow at work and there was two of us on and he was like (My name) what did you do with all the customers? (Joking) and i was like oh i scared them away with my mean face. and he laughed

and what does it mean when he calls me 'Miss (My name?)" I've noticed he does that a lot and i haven't noticed him do it to anyone else. Not sure cause he thinks im way younger than i actually am orrrr? Im 99% sure im only two years younger

[Entity]

Is the first letter of your first name an "m" by chance?

If it is not, then I do not know, if it is, then it's an alliteration. A play on words of sorts. Of course it could be this as well if there were a common name that went well with the term "miss" presuming it's not just his own mannerisms and upbringing.

As for the rest these are normal signs among coworkers. This is good for you.

[Asker]

Its not. my name begins with K not M so i dont know how i should take his "Miss (My name)" comments... like I've said i haven't really seen anyone else called called "Miss" at my job (Although) i might be one of the younger ones there but like i said if i am im only two years younger than the guy in question

[Entity]

Oh well. Bad guess on my part.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Entity]

Nothing. Nevermind. Enjoy your day.

[Asker]

No Please Tell me

[Yumix]

same problem here... I'll read this carefully haha

[Anonymous]

Your father should put you on a leash!!