If a guy tells you he only likes you as a friend but all his actions say otherwise, what does that mean?

[angelvoice]

He asks me to go out with him all the time, he flirts with me, he insinuates that I like him, he gives lingering hugs, he calls just to talk, he im's me every time I get on the computer. We have amazing chemistry. We are very close friends, he often asks me about what I see in a relationship and sometimes I feel he is comparing himself to my answers.

We have talked about our relationship status and he says he only sees me as a friend (to which I have replied I only see him as a friend). He says that I'm not ready for a relationship right now. (just out of a recent 2 year breakup) Yet even with our "talks" , like once a week he brings up something about me getting "attached" to him (teasing me) and I remind him that I only see us as friends. I have told him I don't need a reminder that he and I are only friends (because we have only stated we are friends) These mixed signals are exhausting...so what is the deal guys?

[Marshall33]

He does not want to be the one taking the risk to be ejected by you romantically which I assume is because you both never apporach the subject and pretend you both don't know what may be happening but in fact your both flirting and hiding it in a way. He would most likely have casual sex with you but not a relationship right now but might someday fel differently if he realizes he enjoys your company alot. He is being respectful towards you though not verbally clear to you. And you well in the last sentences you wrote are pushing him never to take a risk. You are telling him NOT to try with you and keep it simple. You need to be direct with him and take the risk or forget it altogether.

[angelvoice]

We always approach the subject. it seems like we talk about the relationship of our status at least once a week. And as for the sex that is the farthest thing. He's totally traditional, like doesn't even want to DATE a girl he wants to court a girl. He's totally against all affection until he decides he wants to marry someone.

[ice_cold-killah]

give him the signal that he can talk to you about anything he wants if you don't hell just be afraid or maybe you need to make the move and let him know try to gain a trust thing going and that's all since he had been broken outta a 2 year relationship its best to show him that your not going anywhere somehow lol

best of luck

[angelvoice]

He already knows he can talk to me about anything, and he does. We are both totally open with each other....and I'm actually the one out of a 2 year relationship...

[naiveintheoc]

i think he really does like you, I mean common its so obvious but I think he's extremely scared of getting hurt and even losing the great friendship you guys have. he's just scared and maybe you should be the one to make a move. maybe one day when you guys are hanging out go in for a kiss, I'm sure things would happen from there. just make sure that if you guys do kiss or anything of that sort reassure him that you won't hurt him and to give you guys a chance because it seems to me that all he needs is a little shove.

best of luck to ya :)

[m3TALchick]

If he already put you on the friend-level then its not gonna happen. I'm sorry, you need to move on. He will use you for his emotional and physical needs, knowing that you will comply because you like him and ALREADY know that he just wants to be friends. So you pretty much have no right to be p*ssed. Move on, or you will be hurt even worse.

[ker12]

with my friend and self..i always thought he was just my friend but all my actions would say more than a friend. I didn't realize it until he started dating...maybe its the same with him too..

[stercor]

He's voting with his feet. He says you're 'just a friend', but his actions indicate otherwise.

How do you look at each other? We speak sentences with our mouths, volumes with our eyes. He's right about the break-up. You need time to settle.

Best of luck,

Ted

[angelvoice]

I would say there is definitely a connection between us...i mean we don't study each other's eyes but there are times when I feel we are connecting with our looks. He also winks at me every now and again. He is very traditional and told me he doesn't believe in boyfriend/girlfriend status, he wants to court a girl then marry her.I inquired what that means and he said that they will basically be best friends until he feels he is ready to talk to her about marriage. (is he waiting for me to be "ready"?)

[Anonymous]

well if he said that than he is clearly responsible and ready for the consequences...which are that you are done and won't take him back ever again. Move on, and avoid him, be polite and friendly, but that's about it. If he has the balls to say he only likes you as a friend then take away all the attention and love you gave him because he clearly doesn't respect or appreciate that now. Cut it all off, contact, and all. He doesn't need you right? then he can go screw himself. A person realizes what you mean to them after you lose them. He lost you and its all his fault, because he selfishly only likes you as a friend. So let it be...

good luck =]

[angelvoice]

Thanks for the advice but he and I have never dated...we have only been friends. The ex of 2 years is someone that I have no contact with anymore

[martyfellow]

Maybe he enjoys flirting in the safey of a 'friendship.' It seems you like it that way..and it's exhausting in a good way no?

[angelvoice]

No I'm very analitical and it drives me NUTS when I think something is one way (we are just friends) but then everything he says and does points me to believe he feels otherwise.

[martyfellow]

It doesn't sound lke he's analysitical though. Most people aren/t, at least when you're talking about their most intimaite feelings..

[l-hedoniste]

Ask him. Even if you know what the deal is--and you do--you'll stay exhausted until you clarify the relationship.

[angelvoice]

I Have asked him, more than once and he says we are just friends. That is why its exhausting I can't figure out the mixed signals lol

[l-hedoniste]

Have you told him you're exhausted with the mixed-signals bit? If so, why hasn't he stopped?

[angelvoice]

I did tell him a while back that he was sending out mixed signals and he counter acted that by saying that he has already explained that we are just friends...I guess I just ultimately want to know if he is lying and sees me as this potential partner (yet doesn't think I'm ready for the "talk" yet so thus the reason he is lying about it.) Or maybe he is just enjoying the flirting and teasing and honestly that is all it is.

[l-hedoniste]

*Someone* is ready for The Talk, so you may as well have it.

[LoveDanceLove]

WOw tell him to back down it seems he wants to b friends with benifits..ughh he's a douche...if he wants to be friends treat him like a friend..no touching at all fool XD

[angelvoice]

No he's definitely not about friends with benefits...he's totally against that. He's totally traditional, like doesn't even believe in dating he believes in courting a woman

[LoveDanceLove]

Ughhh hmmm ok ok well that makes it complicated...mayb that is his style of friendship check and see how he reacts to other girls

[snowdogs85]

wow guys are like that. confusing and always giving out mixed signals. good luck :)

[kghcar]

he probably want to go out with you or just really want to begood friends but eather it seems he is scared

[xxxlifexxx]

I think he wants to put his feet in one room and his hands in another one ,... so decide to pull him or just throw him away

good luck

[toulouse]

Yeah, you decide what YOU want not what you think will work best for him & you, cause you guys are JUST friends... Decide on where you REALLY want things to go - the undiplomatic answer, & tell him.... People especially guys, tho they LOVE to USE IT, RESPOND BEST TO UN AMBIGUOUS SITUATIONS.

Remember : YOU are not trying to KEEP HIM, you are trying to keep your SANITY. ^^

:-)

[Anonymous]

good luck