Never been hit on?

Question

I've asked a similar question in the past about never having a girlfriend, and people say I shouldn't get upset about it and that she will come one day.

I can agree with that now, but I think the problem is that I've never had a girlfriend, but it's that I've never been hit on ever.

I read other questions about people who've never dated, but only because they don't like the type of people who hit on them and I always think "yeah well, at least people find you attractive".

I know girls get approached more, but I've read questions about guys getting hit on so I know I'm not operation on a complete double standard here, so I know it can happen to me, but in my entire life it never has.

To be honest, hearing "she will come one day" doesn't do a whole lot when no one has ever considered me attractive. I feel like I'm a nice guy with good qualities, and I've been told by platonic female friends that I know how to treat a girl right, so why am I so ugly to the rest of the world?

shinzuku · Accepted Answer

Girls, like guys, are afraid of rejection, so they are more likely to smile at a guy than go hit on him. It's a more subtle flirting.

This is how it works. A girl smiles at a guy she thinks is cute. If he smiles back, she might think he is interested, but she's not sure, so they'll do the trading smiles thing as they go about their business until one of them approaches the other. If he doesn't smile back, she assumes he's not interested.

Some girls, like me, want guys to come to them, so they won't go hit on people, but they will start conversations to feel the guy out.

The bigger issue is that you don't feel attractive. People aren't asking you out, so you think no one is interested. You have to remember that the guys getting hit on are probably hanging at college parties or clubs, where either the girls are super confident, like sorority girls, or it is a dating atmosphere.

My advice to you is to ask girls out. A lot of girl's subscribe to the whole boy's should come to them thing. To start a conversation, you could ask them about something they are carrying, like if they are carrying some ..., or about where you both met, like if they are in the music section of the library, you could be like "you really like music, huh?" That's why it is always good to look for girls in places centered around things you like. If you really like ... Also, I've heard roller rinks and bible studies are a good place to pick up girls, sure you'll have to recite some verses, but if you get a girl, it will be worth it. Also, if you have a job, you could meet a lot of girls that way.

And about knowing how to treat a girl right, If you don't talk to the girl, (and this is where I get presumptuous) how will they know you'd make a good boyfriend. When they see a guy, they think that is the way he would look and act while we we're dating; it doesn't matter if that guy was late to class, so he didn't have time to do his hair, or if he's upset about a test, so he is quiet and angry, that is how the girl will think he is all the time. That's why it is important to talk to them, so they can see how you would make a good boyfriend. How will they know otherwise?

digital_haze · Accepted Answer

I feel ya man. I really do. I'm right there with ya. I've had girl friends and girls who like me, but never once have I been hit on. The two don't really have to go together so don't fret on it too much.

As for the never finding a girl. You'll find her. I promise.