My crush turned me down, but I can't get over him?

[Anonymous]

So I had this crush on a guy for couple of months, we flirted with each other a lot (we see each other everyday because of army), and sorta hang out with each other often (with other friends aswell, never alone). i decided to ask him out but.. after all the flirting he appearently wants us to be just friends. which is ok, but i can't get over him. whenever i see him i just want to be with him! how to get over him? or is there a way i can change his mind to give me a chance? its very hard for me... and i don't wanna come off as a creep that can't get a no, i wanna respect his decision! but at the same time i can't get him out of my head..

[JLynn88]

I've had a thing for one of my guy friends for a year now and it doesn't go away. He knows and I still jokingly hit on him sometimes, but its usually just the dumbest cheesy lines that aren't meant to be taken seriously. We aren't that close of friends so we don't see each other much. I've been in this situation before, with my old best friend. I loved him & he knew but wanted to stay friends. Took me about 4 years and having to cut him out of my life to get the feelings to go away. The only thing that has ever stopped my feelings for someone is developing feelings for someone else. Kind of like the saying "to get over one person, you have to get under someone else"

[Joti_Harrison]

No! The worst thing you can do is to get into dating again when you are not fully over a previous fling or heartbreak. You'll just be baggage in the life of the new person. Deal with yourself first, develop yourself, get a hobby or something before going into dating. If I may ask, what do girls even do for hobbies? I've always wondered.

[JLynn88]

@Joti_Harrison I don't move on to date someone until I'm ready. I waited at least 8 months to get back out there after my last relationship ended. And I always try to be friends with the guy & get to know them before I actually start dating them. However not everyone does it like that. Yeah I have a crush on my guy friend but that wouldn't hinder my ability to develop feelings for someone else right now either. As for hobbies I really don't know what most girls do for fun. Shop, hair, makeup, I don't know. I hang with my friends, ride my quad, and barrel race personally. Riding horses takes up most of my free time

[Anonymous]

You need to give him space. Guys want to chase the prey so to speak. I know it sounds sexist or terribly caveman-ish, but that's how men are wired. If he comes back, then you know he can't stop thinking about you. otherwise, He's just not that into you. I've been where you are, so many times. I'm not into playing games, if I really like someone then I want to be very aggressive but over the years I've learned that you have to know when to give some slack. It's like fishing! When a guy knows that a girl wants him, it's like a drug and he will usually come back for more if you just step back and let him do some of the work.

[Pizza_Princess]

I have liked a guy for a year now with the same conditions, we flirt with each other a lot and I really liked him... he really meant a lot to me. Last week I told him that I liked him (because I couldn't stand it when he said he liked someone else) and he turned me down and said he just wanted to be friends.. I felt completely broken and was really upset. I still like him, but it's not as much... I still find myself landing on his chat - waiting for him to message me... and he never does... I guess, you just going to have to find someone else - Me and you both

[yourwinglady]

You probably are sexually frustrated, which compounds your problem. I speak from experience. It can play tricks on our mind and cause us to act in certain ways. Once you stop talking to this guy, things will be easier. Focus on the other hot guys in the army and your feelings will subside.

[Asker]

abit hard not to talk to him, i try not to but he keeps trying to strike up a conversation when were in the same room (and its hard not being in the same room since we are in the same group of friends)

[yourwinglady]

You can be friendly with him. Just create a little distance and start actively getting to know other men.

[MazeOfLove]

From a relationship coaching perspective, a couple of thoughts:

1) You don't want to chase someone who doesn't want to be chased. It makes them uncomfortable, likely strains the friendship and doesn't help you move forward.

2) Getting over him will ONLY be possible if you create enough mental distance between you, him, and the possibility of you two being together. I know that sucks but it's true.

[coachTanthony]

If you want to respect his decision then why don't you? Why try and force something that isn't there... obviously? Kind of selfish don't you think?

[someho]

No don't do anything as it might make you look clingy. Just back off a bit and accept that nothing is going to happen between two of you. There's nothing to do to make someone else want to be with you.

Just be yourself, enjoy life and don't worry about him. You're going to find another one when it's the right time.

[tiajoker]

If you really want to that much, give yourself reasons in your head to make him undesirable. Not make you not want him as a friend, but just things that don't meet your partner standards. Find his little flaws and exaggerate them in your mind so you can get over it. Also watch him if he flirts with other girls, or even if he's just talking to other girls. It might hurt but it'll help you face the reality that he doesn't want you and you'll stop wanting him.

[boholotus]

Check out this www.2knowmyself.com/.../How_To_Get_Over_Someone

It really helped me

[Mynameisnottolong]

Sounds like he was sending mixed signals im sorry you didn't win. He should of said yes!!!😤😤😤 but I digress. It will be a while till your heart calms down.

[Asker]

it has been almost a month tho ): and I still don't feel any less for him than I felt before

[Mynameisnottolong]

Yea your heart is pretty fresh it will need more time.

[Asker]

I know i sound desperate, and I'm trying to respect his decision, but is there absolutely no way to change his mind?

[TheNotorious]

say to him you want his cute little cock and then he will say hell yeah

[Mynameisnottolong]

Honestly I don't think its possible aside from offering sex and that means desperation

[slatyb]

The way you get over one guy is by meeting another. I was pining for my ex-girlfriend after 18 months until I met my wife. Then suddenly I didn't miss my ex any more.

[Blonde401]

You'll get over it. It's raw right now but you'll move on soon enough. That's why they call it a crush.

[Nojudge]

He is in Military... He can be shipped out again soon... Its tough!

[Asker]

haha im in the military as well, its not like that where i serve. if you're not in combat than you don't get sent into combat

[Anonymous]

I know it's hard but try not to think about him at all. Find a new hobby, go out with your friend or family. Go out by yourself and have fun. He's not the last man on earth. You will find someone who wants you too.

[BrownBratzDoll]

You will eventually give it time. I've been turned down by my crushes until they seen me with another guy... then they have all this fake concern and interest all of a sudden😂😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

What a knob he lead you on and made you believe he liked you when after all he doesn't move on find some new guy he sounds like trouble

[Joti_Harrison]

Led her on? They hanged out alongside other friends, they were just friends.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh ok I see my bad I misread it

[Asker]

@Joti_Harrison tbh according to what my friends say, he flirted with me a lot, and it looked like he was interested in me many times :/

[Anonymous]

you have to accept the reality if he is not interested you can't just force him give yourself a chance and forget him & get a new guy who respect, understands & care about you

[Anonymous]

There is no way to make him change his mind. You have to move forward and accept it.

[TheNotorious]

i had crush on a girl for 4 years and i ignore her now and you come here talking about couple months

[kitty71]

I still can't get over my crush of 2 years ago an dI much older tan u

[Joti_Harrison]

OMG! 4 years bro WTF is wrong with you. You are in deepest areas of friend zone now, probably even non-existent on her radar as a dating companion. No hope. Gosh! XD

[TheNotorious]

not really i dont wanna make mistake she's is my crush becease of looks not personality so that is why i didn't go up to her i dont want to make mistake like breaking up after month

[Joti_Harrison]

If I like a girl, I ask her out. If she doesn't reciprocate, then I move on to the next. Don't waste time on trying to get ONE chick, talk less 4 YEARS?

[TheNotorious]

girls on my age only gets your heart broken

[neel1]

it's just like a soldier encountering a bullet if face it with or like a coward ur going to die so u should decide which way u wanna go

[neel1]

courage** ***I forgot to write it

[Anonymous]

time will heal everything