How to make the first move, without being obvious?

[Anonymous]

I often do the first move, I like it straight up forward, also we're in the 21st century!

My best friend and I were talking about that topic the whole day long.
The thing is, if we used to do the first move, on long term it never worked out. We thought maybe it's intimidating or against the manliness of a guy (I really don't know how to explain it haha English is my 3. language), so that on long term it will never work.

We thought maybe if we girls could make the first move, without actually seeming like we do. Without begin obvious, it could work.

Like for example, a girl drops randomly her tissue and the guy (that she had chosed) takes it and give it back to her and is the one approaching her, so he is making the first move, but actually it was the girl who dropped it knowingly in the first place.
Get what we mean?

How can you do it like in the Bar, Mall or the train station? I mean who the hell drops now randomly her tissue haha

Or what else could we girls do? How can we make the first move without being obvious?

Updates

+1 y

Oke maybe I should have said like , How to not scare a guy away while making the first move as a girl haha nevermind

[SomeGuy37]

You are just the BEST, for embracing this idea of making the 'First move' as a LADY, but I LOVE the concept of not being OBVIOUS, about it, like leading the guy in, catching his attention, and getting him to REALLY make the 'move' he probably wants to, but doesn't know how!!
"Flirting" seems a lost "Art of Passion" that died, a lingering death with Generation X. So few of us appreciate the subtleties, that we learned from grandparents, maybe. . .
I know, a 'Tissue' drop, originally a handkerchief, an embroidered, personal item, that my Grandmother might have used, to get my Grandfather's attention, at a formal dance, is so lost, now!! It's almost a cliche, or joke, as NOBODY would do that, but what about something more 'modern', like 'today' with the same idea?
Obviously, something you don't REALLY care about, not like your phone, or purse, because maybe he isn't interested?
Maybe just something like a little plastic card carrier, with your grocery discount card, or some other, 'expendable' things; maybe a lipstick, or make-up item?
If he is interested, and is watching, seeing you drop it 'Accidentally' he might pick it up, and use it as a way to meet you, and thus you can 'NOT make the 'first move' while you kind of did!'
Why not just go over and talk to that guy that you might like?
I REALLY LOVE women that have that confidence, and believe in themselves, and are willing to come over, and just introduce themselves, being totally assertive!!
Sometimes I don't even notice some, that might be a good match, just distracted in the group of people at whatever event, or party, or whatever.
If she sees me, and comes over, and talks to me, she's already scoring BIG points with me, because I LOVE confident women that like what they like, and don't mind saying that they want to go to this restaurant, for that kind of food, on the date!! So much better than the ones that are saying "uh, I don't know" and they won't eat much of anything anyway!!

[Danny_dan92]

I would say simply tell him "Hi, I just wanna say I think you're cute" if a alpha or should I say confident girl came up to me and said this it would put me at a relaxed state since I know that she is flirting and it's trying to question me about something else that I am not aware of. Makes sense?

[Asker]

Yeah it makes sense, thanks

[Asker]

being more soft and sensitive (needed to Google that word haha) and not to direct and overwhelming, well I think Iget what you mean

[Danny_dan92]

Yes! Exactly 😊 some guys get intimidated by a girl approaching them but if you come off blunt but also nice and sweet it should make it easier

[Asker]

see that was what we meant haha thank you :)

[kaylaS91]

If the guy is within the same age range as yourself and is 'scared off' simply by your making the first move, I'm not so sure he's someone you'd want to start a relationship with in the first place.
(.. there's also no sense in making the first move without being 'obvious'. This isn't elementary- you guys are adults. It's time for your behaviour to match your age.)

[shan_shan]

i suggest to avoid the hints and go for it... invite him somewhere nice where you can talk without distractions since you mustered the courage you dont want anyone ruining it then tell him at least if you are already acquainted but if not try to befriends him first then go i like you it won't be so strange

[RandomMay]

I don't mind making the first move, but like you said when it comes to long term that doesn't work. Guys tend to write off girls who make the first move or possibly take them as a threat to their masculinity, that's from my experience.

[Asker]

omg yes!!! exactly what we thought about!! haha It's really nice to hear we weren't the only one seeing it that way

[MCA-petdetective]

hmmm.. I like this Q. wondering what guys are gonna say.

[Anonymous]

To be honest I want to question your entire premise that it never worked out just because you did the first move as a girl. Your average man has to approach dozens of women until he finds the one and he gets rejected by most women in the process. Why would it be any different for a girl actively approaching men? I know this is new terrority for women but you have to get used to it.

At the end of the day, if the guy's interested he won't care who made the first move, he'll just be happy to be with you.

[Asker]

well I don't mind a rejection haha
We both just saw it like this and it was really like for a few days it was going good but they never took one of us serious, or considered something serious, they saw us more as just hook up material, instead of girlfriend material.
maybe we just had bad luck with the guys we met, but who knows

[Opinion Owner]

yeah, they were simply not interested enough. But their lack of interest wasn't in any way correlated to you being the initiator. In other words, they wouldn't suddenly become more interested if you were less obvious. They simply weren't interested at all. Or maybe they were initially but then realized you aren't a good match.

Men have the same problem. We have to approach and ask girls out on dates, spend our money, but rarely does it lead to anything more serious since most girls aren't interested.

Only when both people click and are attracted to each other does it work out. And in those cases it doesn't matter at all how obvious you were.

Am I making sense here? :)

[Asker]

Yeah I get your point! and I didn't thought about it in that way
It was just always like that we wouldn't even get a chance to prove otherwise, you know what I mean? Like we don't even get the chance to see if both would click

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I know this is hard to accept but some people just aren't attracted to you no matter how hard you try. Just the same way you are not attracted to most guys out there. If you're really honest about it, 90% of men do not interest you. It's the 10% that you're interested in that you want to approach. But for each of those men, there's an equally high 90% chance you're a girl he's not interested in. So you both have to be in each other's 10% of people you find interesting. That's a low probability.

You could try and play games with him, play hard to get and all that stuff, but it would just make him temporarily more curious and it still wouldn't lead to anything more meaningful.

I guess what you can do is be direct but then leave it up to him. Approach him, ask him out, buy him a beer, and then the ball's in his court. Don't chase after him, now it's his turn. Don't come off as desperate, show you're confident and don't wait around for any man. :)

[JDavid25]

Like others have said.. Making eye contact, and smiling is a great subtle way to make the first move, or show that you're interesting.. Also, yeah complimenting a guy can go a long way.. Or just walk up, say hi, and start a convo... Although me, I don't mind if a girl made an obvious first move at all..

[Apope16]

I like a straight up chic. I want her to walk up to me, say im cute, then ask me out.

[Lithium65]

compliments is an easy way of showing interest and being nice without coming across as making a move.

[Asker]

oke that is good, it is a not harmful haha

[Lithium65]

you mean "that's harmless"? ;)

[Asker]

Yeah exactly! haha thanks!

[Lithium65]

by the way, if you need help or wanna practice your English. feel free to message me.
if not that's cool 😎

[jthm72]

Subtlety is overrated!

If you're out at a bar, go sit next to the guy and say "Hey, I like your (whatever)" and go from there

[Yusef]

take things slow and be simple , be you slef and every thing will be all right , when you take thing slow if he like you he will do fisrt move , passion have always result

[Dudeman1234]

The point of making moves is to be obvious. To express intent

[tyber1]

There is no way to make a first move and not be obvious to him. It doesn't really count as making a move if he doesn't pick up on it.

[LittleAmyP]

I don't want to offend anyone, but guys aren't that smart so he probobly doesn't notice it (too much)

[Danyal911]

Just be straightforward and honest. And go talk to him, simple.

[Anonymous]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QQWyeLLMwmo

Active like a six year old playing and the guy should follow suit

[Opinion Owner]

And DON'T say the same thing over and over again that gets annoying really quickly.
I've been approached by a couple of girls and the only thing they ever said to me was "you're so tall" every time I passed them for a month that did not go vary well for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Saying something like "hello" + "what's your name" is enough.
If the guy isn't women-unaware, he'll know what that means.

[Anonymous]

Don't be subtle. 99% of the population can't read hints or signs

[Asker]

Yeah I know that, that's why I'm making a move

[sexcrazy12]

be straight and to the point. most guys do not have a problem with that.

[RSDNation]

Don't be afraid to be shamed due to "sluttiness". But don't BE a slut.

[BPTDK]

Stop talking to people who are afraid of women making the first move would be my first guess...

[Nightinggale]

Just do it. Literally just do it like men do. Rejection isn't the end of the world. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[TiffyPuff]

Nothing like eye contact and a smile :)

[SoundOfRain]

Just be straight, simple and direct. Trust me a guy will appreciate it. Answer my question?

[Anonymous]

When you walk by him swipe the crotch area.