Why don't girls approach guys in bars and clubs or anywhere in general?

[Anonymous]

I find it Damn sexy when a girl comes upto a guy instead. Why don't girls do it more?

[confusedapplepie]

One of my friends apparently really likes talking to strangers at a bar. Its not like she's looking out for a date- she has a boyfriend and their relationship is more than fine.
And i personally find that utterly fascinating because as the shy piece of shit that i am i can never figure out what to say (and even if i can think of something im too scared) and she just does it in the most casual way.
It still is very funny to me though because all the guys look at her like she's an angel sent from above for talking to them (bonus points if she goes to her boyfriend after:D)

[Anonymous]

if I'm in a bar or club situation I generally grab his ass and give him a wink, then normally he starts talking to me. Or I act drunk and stumble into or past a guy he grabs me and steady me and if his arm lingers I touch him.

[Asker]

haha so now i know if im out in a bar and a girl does exactly that I'll know it was the annoyous girl on this app 😉😂

[Opinion Owner]

eh I got fed up there was too many guys who came onto me and I'm like yuck. So I started coming onto guys who isn't obviously unavailable and generally they take the hint and we get together.

[Asker]

nice sounds good haha

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for the mho

[Elliegirl]

If I find a guy cute, I will flirt with him trying to get him to ask me out. If he's not getting the message to approach me, then I'll approach him. For a long time, I wouldn't approach guys at all because I was shy, nervous, and afraid of rejection. And I didn't want to seem too forward. I think those are the big reasons we tend not to approach guys more.

[askmepleaseme]

This is a trait of a man who is unconfident himself who likes dominant women or at least women who are in dominant roles. You probably like when a woman rides you and you won't initiate anything. Too weak and feminine for my taste. If I wanted to date a girl I would date a girl. That's why you think it is attractive, because you're not risking anything or showing an edge/dominant characteristic at all.

[jaxsgirl]

I don't think that liking confident or dominating women necessarily means you are not a confident man. I know this couple, the girl looks super confident, she took most of the initiative. The guy is easy going and a bit of a strategist. He is in no way non - confident. She in no way dominates him. They have a relationship of mutual respect.
If a girl sees / likes a boy, there is no reason that she should not talk to him first. These are messed up gender roles that don't contribute at all at creating something constructive. I don't talk to guys because I am shy, non - confident and a watcher instead of a dancer. But if I liked a guy and made up my mind to take the first step, that would no way show weakness on his part. Everyone does things when they feel like doing it. Are women cowards and non - confident for mostly waiting to be approached by men? What about in ex. lesbian / gay couples, who should make the first move? Please be more thoughtful when you make such statements

[askmepleaseme]

@jaxsgirl Men are men. Women are women. Men are too fucking feminine these days and want a woman to do their job. Also not even talking about gay relations, so yeah, not apart of the topic at all lol.

[yuppthatsme]

Not my cup of tea :// I like when guys come up to me of course if I see a guy who looks promising I just kinda give him eye contact to show him I'm interested then let him do the rest
I'm super submissive
Your probably just into dom women

[Asker]

I'm really not 😂 i just love it when she approaches then i take control. just its different isn't it. so let her actually show she's interested then i do the rest

[yuppthatsme]

ooo okay gotcha big guy I know what u mean 😂
yeah I guess it would be pretty tiresome to always have to go after someone

[Asker]

damn right you got me 😂 hahah na its different having someone literally approach you instead of just giving 'the eye' so approch a guy show him you are actually interested then boom sit back and let him do everything

[yuppthatsme]

Got it I'll keep that tip in mind next time we'll see how your way goes 😂

[Asker]

give it a go just hope the guy isn't a asshole 😂

[yuppthatsme]

Mmm yikess true just lost all the courage 😂
Guess I'm just not fit for the job

[Asker]

hahah feel like I've shot you down there. na you'll be fine 😁

[yuppthatsme]

O lol nooo your good don't sweat it😂

[Asker]

well. try and have fun otherwise.. what's the point 😉

[yuppthatsme]

Truu u got a point there anon can't have fun without trying new stuff

[Asker]

Anon 😂 this is new to me like

[shortandsweet24]

My reasoning is simply a serious fear of rejection. But, I think that women are very set into a role of believing that men should make the first move to avoid looking desperate that they never take this risk. 😕

[JUSTkali]

hmm just depends on the girl. if she has confidence and doesn't give 2 fucks.. those girls are bossy bitches not many of those in the world i guess.. also its a state of mind.. 4 me im balls to the wall..

[accortez]

Because I want a dominant male who takes charge. So I wait for this type of guy and he would hit on me first.

[anmari2001]

why would they if guys do it for them and this give them confidence but maybe there are women who approach guys instead

[Asker]

change things around a bit. if a girl approaches a guy instead it does show she's more.. not sure what the words are im trying to say but its nice when girls do.

[anmari2001]

I guess it's nice for you but girls don't have to do it because guys approach them as I said there are more daringly women who don't mind approaching tho I a. sure they are not that much

[BabyBirdy]

I've never approached a man and never will.
I like the confidence & I'm still old fashioned in some ways

[Gabi_T]

Because guys are supposed to be the leaders and are supposed to take control. DUHHH

[idk_riih]

maybe because we're shy or we think that he have a girlfriend

[Asker]

Hmm true.. but still girls when they approach guys go from like a 10/10 to 100/10.

[idk_riih]

that's true

[Asker]

love a girl with vision for her future. and confidence is sexy when she can come upto a guy

[idk_riih]

yes sometimes

[Anonymous]

Because sexually assertive women risk being slut shamed.

[emerald77]

It's becoming more common now.

[Asker]

Not common enough haha. its just hella sexy when you get approached by a girl

[Sha84]

because it is totally unnecessary and demeaning for a woman to make the first move

[BeastinAir]

I think we are societally trained to be the prey, not the hunters. Demureness in us is often (not always) valued.

[Anonymous]

I personally don't because I have social anxiety LMAOOO

[Ellie_copter]

I'm too scared of rejection. lol

[Angel_Kat]

Maybe they are shy I don't know

[Asker]

Fair Enough. but still when a girl approaches a guy its damn nice

[Angel_Kat]

I know, confidence is always something to admire :)

[Asker]

oh yeah! a girl with confidence is sexy as hell. a girl with vision for her future and a goal in life is an automatic turn on for most guys (some guys are just d#cks who dont care but some do)

[Angel_Kat]

Ikr, I'm trying to approach guys more :P

[Asker]

that's good 😁 I've only been approached a few times but i can rememeber them crystal clear. thats how much it impacts when you can rememeber everything

[HHHHIHHHHHIHHHH]

should we?

[Asker]

Absolutely!

[HHHHIHHHHHIHHHH]

ok, i'll remember about it the next time i go to the bar

[Asker]

Definitely. just approach him instead.

[HHHHIHHHHHIHHHH]

you know that his ego gets in the way and he doesn;t care?

[Asker]

be smooth about it. i know it might be totally different but ask him if he'd like a drink. worked on me. i was totally stunned

[bedroomeyes]

People (mostly other girls) give you shit for it.

[Luana83]

Never get a chance too. they approach me.

[momo770]

what bars do you go to?

[adamjanovic]

I was just too shy to do that.

[TheChocolateWriter]

I get shot down, that's why I don't do it anymore

[Anonymous]

They're waiting for you to approach!

[IHaveLists]

They're afraid of rejection

[Toad94]

Because I'm too shy and I'm afraid of rejection...

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

I do sometimes