How can an ugly guy become attractive?

Question

Is there even a way or are you screwed for life?

s3tupMayne · Accepted Answer

Ok I am NOT going to give a "people look beyond looks" answer and give you a realistic, practical answer that you can use to get better looking (if you choose):

You have to get dealt some SERIOUSLY bad genetics to be "ugly" to the point where nothing you do will make you attractive. For example, one thing that famously correlates pretty strongly with physical attractiveness is physical symmetry (it's not unlikely that you've heard this before at some point). The more symmetrical someone's body and face are, the more attractive they are, as symmetry indicates a relative lack of genetic defects and physical disease.

That being said, from these two photos (shot from opposite angles), you should be able to see that Alessandra Ambrosio, a Victoria's Secret model and one of the most successful models of all time, has an extremely NOT symmetrical face. link link It shouldn't be too hard to tell that her face looks fairly different when comparing one side to the other. Despite that, she manages to be one of the most attractive people on the planet.

If you want to improve your looks, you have to approach it from the viewpoint that attractiveness isn't something you're born with, but rather something you work for. There are traits that are considered universally attractive that you will need to try your hardest to obtain. These include things like being well groomed, having clear skin, being in good athletic shape, having strong secondary sex characteristics, and overall being very healthy and not having any major "defects".

Notice I didn't mention anything like hair color, eye color, skin color, etc. Being attractive is just about being a good version of yourself, whatever that is. If you are pretty normal looking and also good looking, you've got the "guy next door" or "All-American" look. See Chace Crawford for the white version or Will Smith for a black version of this. A good female example is Jessica Biel. If you're somewhat unusual or unique looking, you'll simply be an "exotic" good looking guy. See Taylor Lautner for a beefy exotic guy and Sean O'Pry for a skinny exotic guy. Vanessa Hudgens is a famous exotic girl.

If you currently don't possess any of those "attractive" characteristics, you should be working for them. It may take some lifestyle changes, like eating healthier or regularly going to the gym or spending more time outside to get that vitamin D, but you can get from wherever you are to wherever you want to be. Don't worry about what you or your family looks like. Your choices matter more than your genetics. For example, Jessica Alba's entire family is out of shape. She has been cooking for herself since 12 years old because she wanted to be healthy.

You are not screwed for life. It is NEVER too late to get started on the path you want to walk down. Just don't hold back...

CanvasOnCanvas · Accepted Answer

Can't make any guarantees about someone eventually finding you gorgeous, but you're not screwed for life, man. If you just get out and enjoy yourself you'll be fine. You should let go of the idea that you're not attractive; having that mindset in the first place contributes to the problem. Girls judge a lot based on personality, and even if their first impression of you isn't great, if you're consistently enjoyable to be around you'll find people who want to be with you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm really happy that you're one of the guys asking if you can change and not just complaining about how girls should get over it. So kudos to that! Like others have said, if you have confidence it will very much increase your attractiveness. However, just because women care less about looks than guys do, does not mean that looks don't play a part. There has to be some level of physical attraction for a relationship to form.

That being said, you can *absolutely* become more attractive if you're unhappy with your looks. Going to the gym, treating any acne (if you have it), whitening your teeth, changing your hair, getting a new wardrobe, some good cologne, etc. All of these things will drastically change your appearance. Appearance matters because it shows pride in yourself, and when you have pride in yourself, it builds your confidence. It also gives you more opportunities to let you inner beauty shine.

A quick example of this. There was this guy I went to high school with who was pretty overweight. He didn't really have a good sense of style or much pride in his appearance. He did however have a great personality. He was funny, friendly, smart, really had a lot going for him. However, he never dated anyone. His personality made for a *great* friend, everyone loved this guy, but physical attraction is what separates a "friend" from a "boyfriend." That doesn't mean everyone has to look like Brad Pitt, but if there isn't SOME level of physical attraction, then it's just not going to happen. There's not a person on this planet who is above that.

Anyway, this guy apparently decided after high school that he was ready to be the total package. He got in AMAZING shape. Changed his hair, his clothes, everything. My jaw hit the floor when I saw him. I was so happy for him because it really gave his inner beauty a chance to shine through and now this guy gets women like its his job. And not just because he's hot, but because he had that incredible personality everyone loved about him too. So, moral of the story, a duck really can turn into a swan. Looks being so important may sound "shallow," but its human, and you can definitely change your life for the better by letting your inner beauty reflect on the outside.

nicegirl30 · Accepted Answer

beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you beauty is inside you, and women are more emotional than physical. You need first to have a good self-esteem, that will bring you a great personality, a nice personality will bring you a person that accept you... I have dated all kind of boys, I don't look for physical, I just look how they treat me, I have dated models, fat boys, skinny boys, and I haven't any luck with any, because they finish hurting me...Sometimes being physically attractive is a doom, because they only see you outside and don't appreciate your inside...So appreciate yourself and you'll see someone appears...=0)

katherrrrine545 · Accepted Answer

Looks aren't everything. You have to have a little confidence, because confidence is a huge thing. Everyone has a different opinion on how they see someone. There is someone out there for you who likes you for exactly who you are, weather you believe it or not.

Nadezhda · Answer

I agree with danzo1990.  If someone is attracted to your personality and just generally who you are, they won't think you're ugly and will find you attractive :) it is what's on the inside that really does matter more. And if you act confidently and not in a way that draws attention to your insecurities, people probably won't notice anything wrong with you.

danzo1990 · Answer

dude you can't talk like that, saying your ugly isn't going to get you anywhere, you've gotta be confident and strong and plus if a girl is a real lady she wouldn't care what you look like on the outside its what's on the inside that counts, and that's what most girls tend to look for.

loveless123 · Answer

Honestly, beauty fades... and even though you don't wanna hear this or heard it a lot already its your personality, confidence, and good nature that makes you truly attractive. I mean for instance a lot of girl would rather date a not so attractive guy with a personality to die for, than a more attractive guy but is a jerk and idiot. Hope that helped.

MrKkibbles · Answer

Confidence is attractive. Realistic answer, you need something to be confident in. I'm not trying to be mean but you might think you are ugly because you are. Weight, hair, skin, teeth, fitness, bad habits, attitude; all of those can be improved to give you more well-deserved confidence.

Samisrad · Answer

People are only "ugly" to some peoples standards, other people will find them gorgeous! Everyone has a different opinion and I think there is someone for everyone.

Longshot · Answer

You should do your best to dress your best; groom yourself well; smile at people; speak nicely to people; be self confident; engage in conversations. Inner goodness will always make you look better -- much better.

snackeyg · Answer

Sadly you have to be confident. It's hard. I would know I don't have any, but I'm working on my body to raise my confidence in myself.

How can an ugly guy become attractive?

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