Should I give up on chasing a girl that's not that interested in me, even if I'm crazy about her?

Question

I never had a problem getting girls until now. This the 1st girl ever to have me speechless when I see her, she makes me nervous when I'm around her, and I think about her constantly day and night. We started texting and then talking on the phone and she told me she liked me and found me attractive. Then a couple weeks later I made the mistake of letting her know how I really feel about her and it kinda scared her away (note that we never even been on a 1st date yet because of our busy schedules, we only see each other every Sunday at church where we met). She told me she's at a place in her life where she only wants to focus on her and not on guys. That she's not where I am right now emotionally. We both are coming out of serious relationships where we were hurt. I was hitting her up every night, but since that convo I haven't hit her up and it's been a week. She hasn't hit me neither but I can't get her off my mind. She's perfect for me, church girl, smart, funny, beautiful, doesn't drink, smoke, or party a lot. The kind of girl yo bring home to moms. Should I just move on or try my best to get her to fall for me? I'm desperate ladies!

ElPeleador347 · Accepted Answer

Judging from my own experience I would advize you to stay low for a while, say at least 3 months, then ask her again. If she still feels the same way afterwards, then in my opinion you should move on. In all of my years, I've chased dozens of girls for far longer periods and it never turned out very well. Only 2 of them were even worth chasing but neither of them were worth chasing for more than 3 months. There is nothing wrong with showing some persistence, but after a while it will only make you look needy and girls don't like that apparently. Just remember: if things between the two of you eventually do not end up the way you wanted it to be, don't feel sad or worried: there's over 7 billion people on this planet, even if we assume 3 billion are female and even allowing a mere 1/1000 limit for suitable girlfriends for the average guy, that's still 3 million wonderful girls, far more girls than you will ever meet. Just remember: just because this girl you like right now may seem like untouchable by any other girl, there are at least hundreds of girls out there just as impressive, or even more so, than the one you're having a crush on right now. The only reason why you can't imagine anyone better than her right now, is because you simply haven't met or even seen any of those other girls yet. Do not make the same mistake I did by chasing any girl for any longer than 3 months, you'll be wasting precious time that could be used for doing things you like or even meeting other girls, just get yourself out there and you'll see how mediocre your crush will become after a while. A girl who doesn't want to be with you is not worth the effort, I myself had to learn this the hard way, and I too learned from my mistakes. Good luck and remember, one way or another you WILL bump into someone special eventually. The world is a big place with lots of opportunities, don't waste your time sticking to someone who's feelings are not mutual.

Weekso · Accepted Answer

If you're massively into her, chase away... girls will say 'I don't want a relationship right now', but what they're really thinking is 'try a bit harder and I might be interested'! Do something original**, something that will make her smile, and think 'yeah, this guy isn't like the rest'... if she is smart, physical attaction won't be enough, you need to let her know that you're a genuinely nice guy who's interested in her, but not TOO interested. Don't say you think about her every day, or how much you like her..

Make things subtle, but glaringly obvious... such as a little look into her eyes, but only for a second, then look away and smile... if she's wondering what's on your mind, then you're already 99% in there...

Just remember, a girl might not be looking for a guy, but she'll always be looking for someone to sweep her off her feet...

**you can forget the normal meal, cinema jobby with this girl. You need to go for something that nobody will have ever done for her before. For example, take her to a place where the sun sets directly in font of where you'll sit, it doesn't matter where. (The last time I did this, I took a rug and we sat in the middle of a shopping mall, looking out of the massive glass windows) Take a bottle on something nice (not champagne I'm guessing) and some light munchies and just sit there, all night... It can be justified as just hanging out, but you and she will know it's a little more... try it and get back to me...

Dorina · Accepted Answer

Keep chasing her, but give her space. Don't be texting her every five minutes. But don't give up on her either, just try to understand what state of mind she is in at the moment, since she just got out of a serious relationship. Let her know that you care and that you'll be there for her, but for now, I know it's the hardest thing ever, but stay her friend. Don't push anything until she is ready. Oh but one more thing, try not to get your emotions get too tied up. To stay on the safe side, don't get your expectations get too high, just yet. Don't let yourself get hurt.

Good luck :)

inlovewithyou · Accepted Answer

if she told  you that she does like you and everything then she likes you. But she might not want you to be her boyfriend just yet.  She problly wants to get to know you a little bit more.  Becuase from my experience with guys making me chase him, I knew he was crazy for me and that he had it bad for me everyone could tell.  And I sorta had it bad and was crazy for him too.  But there was a big problem I had a fionce and he had a girlfriend.  So becareful if she acts weird see I told this guy I was taken but he didn't care one bit.  So let her call you and text you.

Louise123 · Accepted Answer

She's not interested. Sorry.  You like the challenge...but this girl isn't acting very responsive to your efforts. If she had been a little more "interested"... do you think she wouldn't have seemed so attractive all of a sudden? Sometimes we want what we can't have. You can't MAKE someone fall for you - anymore than some girl can make YOU fall for her.  I'd let it go..  see if she comes to you. But doesn't sound like she will. Sorry.  Hugz.

flower1000 · Accepted Answer

mmm OK she's backed off becouse she likes you give her a little time 1 week is long time when your crazy about some 1 but it will pay off when she's ready she will come to you back just see her at your church smile keep your space let her come to you but you must keep yourself busy you sound a very nice man if she knows what's good for her she won't let you pass her good luck stay strong exersise and go to gym :)

stonerman · Answer

Im sorta in your same category, except I asked mine out and she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship, but we still see each other, talk, and hangout. waiting for answer as well!

But from what I have noticed if you struggle to make her your lady it only makes you want her more than if she would had said yes right away.

I say stick to it, Give her lots and I mean lots of attention then quickly back away this will make her think there might be someone else in your life, and from past experiences jealousy and lack of attention can work in your favor (this is where I'm at with mine)

Brando · Answer

Honestly, if you're sure that she doesn't like you then yes, move on. She seems a little unsure because she once told you that she was attracted to you, but then she acts uninterested. It's obvious that she's a little scared off by this, but what the real question is does she still feel attracted to you? If you are unsure (and being unsure is much different than seeing something but not wanting to believe it), then you might want to keep chasing a little more. But if she's acting obviously distant from you and doesn't feel the same way anymore, then you are only going to hurt yourself if you keep chasing. I did this to a girl I liked for YEARS and it completely changed me more than I ever thought it would.

Anonymous · Answer

if you just move on then to her you will come off like just any old guy that just wants sex. if you REALLY like this girl, I think you should cool off a little bit but still be a constant in her life. be friendly to her and still be around her. trust me this girl will notice that you didn't just take off as soon as you found out you werent gonna get what you wanted. she sounds like she is worth the effort so I think instead of like "trying" to get her to fall for you, you should stay around her but just relax. hang out with her and treat her nicely but wait, she will probably come around. if she just got out of a relationship then it makes sense for her not to want to jump into another one again. well good luck I hope yall make it!

Memoryfalls · Answer

Chase her until you get her or until you think that it hurts too much - don't let this hurt you..wait, love always hurts, but you know what I mean. Just don't get bitter if it doesn't work out. I think it's great that you feel like that about her and want to chase her. We need more men like that.

DoctorSex · Answer

Dude, have some self respect and value yourself a lot higher, kknowone should have to chase for anyone, its degrading and looks sad...if she can't see a good thing in front of her then move on, she's either not into you or she's still very immature and wants the flashy guy that treats her bad...

in short, dusty yourself off and move on.

Nijababe99 · Answer

I just love the way you described her right down to details now this is what girls want to hear so don't be scred since you never knwo till you try I want you to call her right now and tell her everything okay and let her know how you really feel even more don't leave anything else ..good luck and what every you do DO NOT GIVE UP ON HER sometimes we girls tend to be a little scred of commitment

martyfellow · Answer

She's telling you plainly the time isn't right. What that means..who knows? It could be she's just testing you to see if you're willing to wait for her.

Back off her but keep in touch, send her a token gift on her birthday. That sort of thing.

Reiki_Z · Answer

yea that best answer has a point

make her see that she is special and you don't wanna risk it

you don't wanna wait till your life is over kinda sh*t ha ha

tell her you guys should at least hang out take it slow and just wing it or do what she wants

cause maybe she is just seeing how far you can or will go

jumping threw hoops sucks but if she's worth it then id say go for it

Den03 · Answer

First of all you prob made it worst and more uncomfortable because you didn't "hit her up" as you put it.  You should clear the air and at least get to know where her head is at.  She obviously liked you before so you need to get back to that.  The way you do this is by making her jealous.  I would prob hit her up and give her another chance to respond. Saying something to the effect of "I really didn't mean to say something that would make you uncomfortable. I'd like to continue to at be friends even if we don't go out on a date"  This should get you back to where you were.  Then you can make her want you by not being there for her all the time. when she asks why your busy you tell her someone asked you out and have been spending time with her.  Hope this helps.

Anonymous · Answer

Keep trying if you like her that much at least you will know and won't have to wonder, give her time to think things throught, you let her know how you feel you might have scared her by telling her you are crushing on her, maybe try and ease it back let her know you want to take things slow, go casual,  sometimes trying to hard makes it worse,  more unnatractive, clingy, controlling  etc

Anonymous · Answer

just focus on other things,if the girl know you are desperate she gonna avoid you ignore you a lot

you don't want that,just talk to her like not daily once a week or something and just talk normal don't ever show any kind of feeling towards be cold

if she really missing something ,she would ask abt you,coz girls are like if you give them 100% attention they push you away,if you give them O% attention they would just do everything to make you notice them

bathtubbuddy · Answer

You like her but she doesn't want a boyfriend...  give her some time. if she keeps it up that she's not interested yet you see her flirting around with another guy. then just move on. no need for someone who keeps makin excuses like that.

GspotKing · Answer

Be her friend .let the good times roll, I had the same thing with this girl. 3 years later starting actually 2 weeks ago weve been hooking up best time in my life ever dude. Itll all happen in due time even if she doesn't like you now, she will realize it later just be a good guy around her. g luck.

Mimi_94 · Answer

I honestly think you should be friends for a while,don't be too pushy,she's just not ready for a relationship yet,but don't lose contact with her either.I know it's tough so good luck!

allen_elle · Answer

If it's worth the chase, why not? Don't lose hope. There are really girls who're like that. Sometimes, it's just a test whether or not you're really serious about her, about what you feel. Trust me, my best friend's case was actually like that way before she got involved with her boyfriend.

The1WhoTried · Answer

I liked this girl when I asked her out she said "I only like you as a friend" I knew her for about more then a year I thought she was the one but she was not. Don't chase the girls because you will just meet a new girl that you like and soon you will forget about her! :)

foryoutonotice · Answer

Try your best to get her attention again. I commend you for being so brave and telling her how you feel. I have been interested in a guy I've known for a few years but have no idea how to tell him. Try to make her feel special and she is the only one you want and hopefully she will come around.

ddjenn · Answer

Keep chasing her but don't do it everyday. Give her space and let her come to you, Be a friend and don't get pushy if she really likes you it will show and work out. Good Luck

queenb · Answer

I say give her some time, don't treat her any different then you were doing kind of try to build up a relationship with her, but do it in a way where she doesn't think your tryna make a pass at her...then when you feel that she's more opened up to u..ask her again..if she says no again..leave her alone...she's not meant for you and ull find better.

Gud luck!

lovergirl1232 · Answer

Being Desperate is not the way to go. But if you are really into her. you have to decide if she is worth fighting for or not.

Epiphanies · Answer

Move on. Your desperation is just going to repel her some more. If she wants you, she'll start sending positive signals your way.

Littletad · Answer

Never ever waste time on a girl who said no. This is a hard lesson.

Anonymous · Answer

Forget it, if she won't go out with you now she never will. You will be put into the "friend" group and won't beable to get out. I know this because I was once this girl. Trust me, move on.

BlackSuperman · Answer

you damn right yo should... quit wasting your time...too many other chicks out there for that

cody321 · Answer

Pretend to back off, but don't use other girls to get to her... and I bet she comes running

dsmarie · Answer

wait for two months and then call her again and see how she is.

asdfsdf · Answer

Give it your best. If you feel that you've found someone you want to be with, don't let her go!

eviegee · Answer

NO. DON'T GIVE UP. TRUST ME, SHE'LL EVENTUALLY GIVE IN. i mean, she has to. no girl can resist that persistence.

Anonymous · Answer

well the best thing to do is to just take it slow start by been friends ad make her like you then after a month or 2 ask her on a first date and just keep it easy and slow. hope I heelped :) GOOD LUCK

Danielblake95 · Answer

Mate I've got the same problem, she is like the ultimate girl and she is just so damn fine but she just isn't interested. Good luck with yours.

Anonymous · Answer

Put yourself in her shoes and then you have your answer.

xoxo95 · Answer

Hell no, she'll see that you want her a soon she'll come runnin

Anonymous · Answer

keep trying.  she might say she doesn't want a relationship because she doesn't.  probably she means she wants to see you try harder.  keep it up! she should fall for you. if not, she isn't worth it.

the_cheshire_cat · Answer

Watch the movie 50 First Dates.  <3

ToughTurtle · Answer

Move on sweetheart...

trod199 · Answer

Keep trying to get her

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