She's not affectionate. What can I do?

[amadeus]

My girl lol.where do I start. Well me and this girl met a few months ago at work and we did the whole friends thing for 4 or 5 months, then she pulled the let's get serious trigger which surprised me because I never thought she would want to take things to other levels with me. Things between us are good the only thing I don't like is that she's not really affectionate enough with me, I always have to be one to hold her hand and etc. She has admitted to not being a affectionate girl and I told her that I would like to change.

At this moment she has been away from me almost a month handling somethings out of town. We talk on the phone every once in a while but text alot, sometimes I text her just to let her know that I miss her and she will reply back with a happy face or something of that nature (which is better than nothing from her) but the thing is that I say what I feel and I know when I say things like that it makes feel good. But she doesn't say it back to me which kinda hurts sometimes, there has also been cases where I might go pick her up or meet up with her somewhere and she doesn't give me a hug, kiss or anything. If does do it that surprises me alot, but I really don't know what do here I want her to show me that she cares about me like I do her. Any suggestions.

[Katie88]

WoW this is crazy. You're girlfriend is like my boyfriend. I'm in the same situation you're in. Unfortunately I don't think people like that can change. Is you're girlfriend very independent? My boyfriend doesn't think he needs to tell me he misses me all the time or be affectionate like that. I'm always the one doing it. Have you talked to her about it and really let her know how much it bothers you? Maybe if you lay off the affection and see how she reacts to not having it, it will make her realize it's importance?

Here is another question on lack of affection from girlfriend that just got featured.

[amadeus]

Well she's to me she's not very independent. I have told her before that I like it if she opens up more and expresses those feels to me, but still nothing from her...

[Katie88]

Hmm well, I got to the point with my boyfriend where I was getting really upset because he wasn't getting it either. One of my friends said something to me that really made me think so maybe this will make you think as well. She asked me if my boyfriend faults (non affection) were worth not having him at all? Everyone has there faults so are hers bad enough that you'd rather not be with her at all. Trust me it's hard to live without affection I know. But, maybe you can think about that.

[VirtualOrange]

Talk to her. Really. Communication is key in relationships, and this is a situation where it should take a prominent role. Let her know you've got a need for affection, too. It might be a little tough coming out and saying that, but if you're direct and honest with her than there's a MUCH better chance of getting what you want and need out of the relationship. As an additional note, let her know that you really mean what you're saying.

[Anonymous]

I have a suggestion, quit being such a nice guy and show her you mean business. be a man and take her out on some dates, quit trying to tell her how much you care about her and do it the nice guy parts will follow but, right now she's probably thinking "ya he's a nice, but I want someone who will make me feel like a woman."

My boyfriend said that. I'm not sure I completely agree. Because I want the nice guy.

[amadeus]

I have noticed that when I have giving her the cold shoulder she's seems to responds like I would want her to, but why? For whatever reason it seems like it's best to be that way in the start of things but we shouldn't be like this now. I think some of you females say you want the nice guy but when we come you don't know what or how to deal with us.

[millz12]

dude I'm in the army and my girl and I have been away for each other for a long time and now she's starting 2 act distant and I hate it .the only difference is she would act really affectionate sumtimes almost all the time and now she's not I think they just like their own time like we do.cuz when I do it she kinda understands but now when she does it I get mad at her and ask what is her problem

[Anonymous]

Tell her how you feel about this, she won't know unless you say something.