She loves me but shows no affection. What should I do?

[robot]

The woman I've been dating for a while loves me but shows no affection. In this case, I don't know how to act towards her either. Do you think she will be overwhelmed if I show affection on her? Or do you think she'll like it?

[Anonymous]

It is possible that your partner may appreciate affection if it is shown in a way that aligns with their comfort level. However, it is important to understand that everyone has different ways of expressing and receiving love, and it is possible that your partner may not be naturally inclined to show affection in a physical or verbal way. It is important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you both prefer to give and receive affection. It may be helpful to start by expressing your own feelings and desires, and then asking your partner how they feel about affection and how they prefer to express it. By having this conversation, you can work together to find ways to show affection that feel authentic and comfortable for both of you. It is also important to remember that love can be expressed in many ways beyond physical affection, such as through acts of service or spending quality time together.

If you want to express your feelings of affection towards your partner, there are many ways to do so. Here are some examples of what you could say to her:

- "I really care about you and I want you to know how much you mean to me."
- "I love spending time with you and I appreciate everything you do for me."
- "I've been thinking about you a lot lately and I just wanted to let you know how special you are to me."
- "I feel so lucky to have you in my life and I want to make sure you know how much I value our relationship."
- "I know we both express love in different ways, but I want you to know that I feel so much love and affection towards you."
- "I love you for who you are and I want to show you how much you mean to me in a way that feels comfortable for you."

[Finchie40]

How long have you been with her? And how long has it been since she gave you intimacy and affection? Usually when someone lacks intimacy and affection it usually means they are checking out of that relationship or they are interested or already engaged with someone else , if that’s the case , then they are just stringing you along for convenience , but don’t jump right to the worse case scenario, you are best to have a sit down talk with her and express your concerns as to why she is lacking in that department? She might just be under a lot o stress , for a girl to want to to intimacy and affection she has to feel comfortable and relaxed, most girl’s brains are racing with a bunch of shit at one time thinking about all the shit that in her mind needs done, Girl’s are crazy that way , if you love her your best bet is to try to relieve a lot of that stress off of her back, help do things for her without asking her what needs done , try to notice the things she does and start completing those tasks for her without her expecting it , When a girl notices her man stepping in and helping with things , those little things will turn her on , surprise her with a hot bubble bath and tell her to go relax and that you will handle to chores she usually does , those little things will get her on the mood trust me , But again I need to know more about your relationship to really be able to give you advice on this ,

[ElGato31]

Seeing your username, I have to ask, and do you show affection? :D

Otherwise, there are women who are not that touchy-feely. Maybe she's coming from a family where it wasn't a thing.

Maybe, she's just reacting to your behaviour towards her. Or maybe she needs more time to show affection, more trust maybe.

You should show more affection and try to talk about it in a neutral way, not questioning, not demanding, just discussing things. Try to find out how she feels about this.

Figure out if you can accept it or not if she didn't change a little.

[Account]

You cannot change her. It is not that she doesn't want to show it. It is that she can't.
If you can deal with that so be it, keep being with her, show her affection I am sure she appreciates it.
If you can't, then tell her and find someone who can show you the affection you crave for.
Judging by myself, people like me don't do that on purpose. We are just unable to no matter how much we try.
I won't go further into details on what the reasons for that might be.

[SteveSmith1985]

I mean... I would hope she wouldn't be overwhelmed if you show affection. If she is overwhelmed by that, then I would argue that she's not ready for a relationship. There is no such thing as love without showing affection. If you love somebody you CAN"T HELP but show affection. It's what naturally happens because of the way you feel.

She may have some issues that need to be worked through with regards to intimacy and affection. But it's not normal and not ok to claim to love someone yet not show them affection. So... her position here is one that you really shouldn't just accept. If she loves you... you deserve the affection that necessarily is supposed to come along with tha

[ManOnFire]

The best way to answer this I think is to ask yourself: what made you gravitate towards her from the very beginning?

Why did you choose a relationship with a woman who doesn't show you affection, and are worried that she will react negatively towards you giving her affection?

Are you really okay with this?

Is it a relationship that you think either you or her will really benefit from?

[Pinay_ako]

How do you know she loves you? Love is such a strong word. But intimacy can be tricky. Some people aren’t showy. But some people say they love you but don’t act on it… if you love her and she loves you, talk to her how you truly feel about being intimate. Communication is key to a strong relationship.

[Summeroflove]

I would consider maybe getting counseling or….. You could decide this isn’t meant to be and if it is. It isn’t right now.

If you’re not happy and she’s not happy. Maybe it’s time to move on. That or maybe you could stick it out for a while and see how things go.

[coachTanthony]

Some people aren't affectionate. You guys should sit down and discover your Love Languages and figure out what you both can do for each other. https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

[Guy13]

That’s doubtful 🤨. Our behavior and words are direct expressions of the conditions of our heart. Break-up is eminent.
Could be tagging another as she sounds emotionally disconnected from you. Find out where that is being placed then you find out where she will be moving on too.

[Avicenna]

I think you need to address this with her directly. This is the kind of thing you have to work with her on and she may have some issue you aren't aware of.

[Juneberry91]

Simple you’re a dog and she’s a cat. Dogs are super affectionate 24/7 & cats don’t require a lot of it. I know actually quite a bit of a couples that are in this Predicament some fall apart because one grow insecure about not receiving enough love that typical the dog side, or both have a wonderful relationship by expectating thier differences. That cat can’t have a dog’s behavior and the dog can’t have a cat’s behavior. Cats get overwhelmed by too much physical stimulation. There are people out there that don’t like to be touched. Be very honest to your self are you ok with excepting your barley enough is someone’s max? Even though you adore this girl it’s easy to want more but let say you are dating would you expect she is not overly Affectionate? Or do you need a fellow dog companion impose to a cat?

[Sunssong]

That's a lovely way of thinking about it.

[Juneberry91]

@Sunssong thank you !

[GreenEyes_2020]

You know I have a really hard problem with showing affection and I think it was because I grew up around people who didn't show affection whatsoever I had to be taught that and it sounds really sad and childish I guess but I just wasn't raised around that and I don't know what she was raised around but I was raised around people who spoke only when it was dinner time other than that my parents were on opposite side to the houses in their offices. And I will show no affection growing up so I don't know what your girlfriend or wife has been through but there's so many other things that plan to factor over here.

[LittleSally]

Sounds like she's uncomfortable with showing emotion.

She might also be uncomfortable having others show emotions towards her, I don't know her so I can't say.

If this is her, and you feel as if you should have gotten more emotional acknowledgment from her by now, I would go for a mature conversation instead of an emotional display.

See how she feels about it, but also elaborate on your own emotions and let her know how important her showing emotion is to you - as a love language.

[Anonymous]

If you're sure she loves you then my answer might help you, if you're not sure because she hasn't told you directly then you should ask her about it.

Check how she's with others, how she is with her friends (male and female) and family, if she avoids too much physical contact.

I used to not show too much affection to my boyfriend because I was hurt in the past and I simply don't show too much affection in general, not even to family members. He was patient with me, always very sweet, and he gave me hugs, kissed me (not on the lips), showed me a lot of physical and emotional affection till I felt ready and wanted to do the same. That's what happened to me, but yeah, you should ask her why she acts like that.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You’d probably be better off taking a love languages test together. That way you can see how she prefers to show and be shown love and you can do the same for her and that will help communicate that you want some kind of physical or verbal affection, or the 3 taps thing for people that aren’t good with words.

[SnowedIn]

How long is "a while"? Is it REALLY love if you "don't know how to act towards her"? And, if she's not showing affection, how do you know she loves you? Like, it's very possible for there to be a relationship and even love without overt demonstration of affection, but your case doesn't sound like that.

[Anonymous]

She loves you but doesn't show affection. Are you sure she loves you? If you want affection from her to me it's pretty simple. You make one move to initiate affection towards her. If she loves you she'll reciprocate. If she doesn't she won't. Now I know you're going to tell me be "but maybe she's just nervous or shy". And to that I say, "you're putting forth ALL of the effort"! Relationships are a 2 way street. She's either in it or she's not! And if not, you deserve to be with someone who reciprocated your affection.

Good luck man!

[lightbulb27]

Say what? How does she express love?

does she show affection to anyone and why? Is she... Asian? Is she so hurt she won't show affection?

She is probably afraid of being hurt again or this is her emotional conditioning. You can't fix it, but you can help create trust and security so she can. That's a toughie though...

[molonski2]

I've had some relationships like this , and I've had the exact opposite , in the situation , for me anyhow , I could not proceed. I certainly need that intimacy , I'm not sure you really can do much about it. Other than to call a meeting with some frank and open dialogue.

[jtrsdjfgdhgrsd]

define affection.. as in holding hands or talking sex? some women don't want to admit they just want a man to 50 shades of the spectrum their asses without hinting or telling them its like a weakness thing for women to admit they want too be treated like a warm jar of peanut butter and then thrown away other girls might want to just play mario kart and get fat together so really it comes down to you're abilities to know the persons intentions and character. who they are so light communication and not being to pushy is important as well as being completely honest about your intentions so maybe reflects and make your own damn decision and think for yourself >

[itsalyssaagain]

It could be for a lot of reasons. I’m like this too and I’ve been told many times by different exes. When I say something slightly affectionate they think it’s shocking. For me it’s because of the way I grew up and I have a lot of trauma around being close to people and showing affection. It’s hard for me to do it. Maybe it’s the same for your girlfriend. Just show her love. People like us are very damaged.

[Anonymous]

It's possible she doesn't love you and is using you to pay bills, rent or whatever else financial you may provide. I had an ex one time who despised me but continued living with and having sex with me simply because she needed the other half of the rent paid while she shooped around for another guy.

[Anonymous]

So how do you know she loves you? I think you need to delve into this deeper as to why she doesn’t show you affection. Maybe she was in a relationship w a man before who did her bad so she put up a wall around her so as not to get hurt again. I’d so that’s going to take a lot more trust, to prove to her you’re not like her ex. Maybe she didn’t have that as a kid growing up. It’s hard to say w out k owing more about her background.

[Anonymous]

She loves you but she is cold with you that’s what no affection means
So basically she sits looking like a cold doll next to you. You kiss her and she says aight that’s enough
Dude… she is narcissist. You got it wrong it’s not bc she shows no affection it’s because she is not capable of loving anyone. She is a narcissist
Run away now

[prakhindev92]

Dude , she likes to keep you around , like an option , it's not love even when you think it is , even if she says it , the best idea is to know is that , ignore for few days , maybe a week or 10 days , and let's see if she misses you , or tries to contact you! , If not , move on dude

[Anonymous]

I think more specific details would help get the right advice. I wouldn’t ever wanna be with someone who “loves” me but can’t show me any affection though. Plenty of other people who could give you what you need in a relationship. More so, there are others who wants what you want. Why settle?

[summiter]

It is always good to take the high road and be the one to start showing her affection. Have you spoken with her about it? A good honest, open convo can go a long way. How is your sex life with her?

[OfMiceandMen]

Why don't you ask her, we can only speculate, but maybe she hasn't told you why she's not a hugger.

Personally, I am a hugger so it would be difficult for me to stay with someone that isn't.

[jshm2]

Then why the hell are you still dating? Or maybe she thinks it's what you wanted anyway, as you've not said or done anything to say different all this time?

At your age you should know better.

[DermalPunch]

I cannot be answer this properly because we do not know the root cause of this lack of affection and it is strange to be so assured that love is present where affection is absent.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Maybe it's a good idea to talk about love languages and ask her how she wants and needs to be loved, and you do the same.

[StormChaser838]

First tell us if she is that way in bed? But if she shows no affection, how do u know she loves u?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Some people don't have emotions bro. You can try it and if she don't like it... tell her it was just a prank bro.

[D_Bone_Steak]

https://youtu.be/_wldE_4xjVQ

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Communication is is key & maybe you two should have a heart to heart talk & see what is going on or what has changed.

[Fanfare690]

She's probably fucking fed up like I am.

No offense maybe ask her about it. Don't smother her

[Oldschool1981]

I had the exact same problem. I talked to her about it and it got me nowhere, so I dumped her. She was suddenly ready for anything but it was too late.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Just do what you've been doing. And maybe she's just not the expressive kind of person. If she truly loves you, that's what matters.

[Киттйлинк]

Maybe she thinks you’re a robot.
Anyway tell her

[JJ092003]

How do you know she loves you if she doesn't show affection? Talk is cheap.

[LovingJo]

It would be very difficult for me to stay in a relationship with no affection, period!! 💯

[serious]

It it bothers you then talk to her about this.

[Cecinene]

First of all find out what the problem is and why she is always acting cold towards you

[rienna888]

Maybe she’s waiting for u to make the first move. Sometimes I do that or do u pay for her everything?

[imfreeze95]

She may have a different love language than you.


You and her should both read the 5 love languages I believe they have one for dating couples.

[peedy]

Spend more time in your garage drinking beer with your buddies when she follows you out there than go to the pub, and when you cone home sleep on the couch and wait for her to come around

[askandreceive23]

Ask yourself this one question: is this enough for me? Love exists in all kinds of ways, but sometimes people just can’t love you the way you need them to. So are you willing to settle or hold out for the life that you want/need?

[humanearth]

Sounds like your with a guy

Most Men don't like or know how to show affection.

[koko_wawa]

Perhaps the way she expresses love is not what you expect.. Not all people should express their love in the same way. It is clear that she is not a fan of expressing love physically. Ask her what is your love language and see if she does it?

[Anonymous]

Actions speak louder than words. If she dlesn't show you that she loves you, how can you know she does?

[UncleBilll]

Take her and her stuff and drop them off at a dirty ass gas station.. and drive the Eff away.

[Anonymous]

She probably won't change, so you may have to deal with it or move on.

[boobliker]

lots of women are like that, it's in their make-up?

[LiamJHayden]

Does she show love in other ways? Some people express love practically.

[Sasha0426]

Maybe she doesn’t know how to show affection. Talk to her about it.

[OddBeMe]

What affection do you show her? Relationships are a mirror.

[Anonymous]

Some people show affection different ways. Some might like to kiss and hug. Some might show it by buying you gifts, taking you out to dinner, etc.🙂

[Guardian45]

If she has not demonstrated that she loves you, why do you think she does? What is your proof?

[Anonymous]

Some people are not good showing affection, try showing them it and maybe they’ll come around as they get comfortable

[krin_m]

Have an honest conversation with her. Some people are just not wired to show affection!

[Anonymous]

Her rationality loves you, but her body doesn't.

[Anonymous]

I'm very much like her, I hope you won't leave her.

[jimmy2]

Better check her love that like saying I saved in Jesus but I don't go to church

[makarinooo]

You should wait for her. Don't do anything.