Asking the question "where do you see this going" only for females??

[Anonymous]

For a long time I believed that it was up to the girl to ask the question during dating "where do you see this going?...i.e. are we going to get in relationship". I tried asking that when I was younger and I always got the answer I didn't want. Women don't like to be pressured in relationships.

However there were three women I dated in the past year. Two of them I thought about going into a more serious relationship with. However I was waiting for them to ask the question. All three of those deals fell through...usually ending with no more phone calls/text...just plain loss of interest. I slept with all those girls (not sure if that means anything).

I guess I giving off signals that I'm a boy toy. Not bad thing, but I'm getting older and would like something more solid. I was also wondering if I would have asked these girls to get a little more serious these situations would have turned out differently.

Just not sure.

[sammi67]

Hi There.

I read with great interest your question, as what you're asking is normally a question that I hear guys complaining about. Guys often say that the woman they're dating asks "where is this going"? I know that in that case the majority of men feel threatened, and pressured. I am now in the strong belief that in the case that you asked the woman which you had been dating the very same question, they too felt threatened, and pressured. No body likes to rush into things, well not if you're both responsible adults. Fools rush in, and if you're asking where is this going so soon in a relation ship, or prior to the other person feeling ready. It gives the impression that you're desperate to have a relation ship, and this in turn can frighten the other person off. I advise that you take things slow in your next relation ship. Just leave things to un ravel by them selves. you may have heard the saying " a hungry dog doesn't get fed" ! Hope this helps you sweet heart. PS I'm not saying that my response is the correct one, however I do hold a degree in psychology, and can often look into things this way.

[butterfly84]

hmmmm, well today girls/woman do not ask this question for fear of losing the guy and making him feel pressured.

We wait for him to mention the "title" All females want to know what is going on with the relationship...Dating, talking, seeing each other, friends with benefits or relationship(committed).

So next time you feel you want this girl to be yours and all yours then let her know! Say something like, I really like you and I am so happy when your with me that I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend.

Girls love to hear "girlfriend" over anything else, it shows your serious and you only want to be with her.

Best of luck

[MissL]

If I'm sleeping with a guy, I want to know we're exclusive. I think most girls in the 20s and 30s are scared to bring up the boyfriend/girlfriend convo out of fear of seeming clingy. We would appreciate the guy bringing it up.

[SmexyMoose]

I think the guy should make the first move even if you don't like the guy girls seam flaterd and strat to fall for the guy...