Why do I meet boring traditional guys when all I dream of is a dynamic open minded guy like me!

Question

I always searched for funny dynamic guys who are full of life and free from traditions and neuroticism , because I'm very dynamic, I joke all the time, I refuse the conventional things and I'm not a traditional person, but all the guys I had, were traditional ones, boring , who don't have activities and all what they like to do is watching movies at home, going to the cinema and to the restaurants ! it is killing me, I just can't handle it anymore, it is so stressing to be a dynamic person, full of life, that you like to experience and learn new things, a versatile type, and find yourself in a relationship with a piece of ice, living life in a killing routine, it is true that they were sensitive and romantic, yeah, OK, these are very good qualities in a guy (when it is not exaggerated), but when there is nothing else, I wonder what can keep your interest in them or how you can move on , specially when you start seeing them like limited machines who keep promising to make a change in their life, to brake the routine but who instead enjoy it ! Each time I think, this one could be interesting, he makes me laugh and seems full of life, but then after very few time, the guy takes off his fascinating mask and turns out to be a traditional type !

What do you think that is in me, in my looks, etc, that only attracts this kind of guys ? Please help me , I'm desperate !

collegegrl18 · Accepted Answer

In all honesty I feel like my whole life has been like this. I don't know if it's the surrounding (i'm leaning towards that because I live in D.C. and to me it's super boring and tries so hard to imitate New York but pales in comparison, it is also full of assholes who behave like 4 year olds so I'm happy to be graduating this year haha). I just have never really meshed with people here. I've been in groups with girls and have hung out with pretty much everyone the preps, the jocks, and the nerds but no one interests me. I just see my life as boring and unfufilling I've always felt like I was more mature than my peers and while they took pleasure in getting wasted and making out with the first pimply faced boy from some other private school I just wasn't into it. I really can't wait to become a real adult (20's) and start living around people who are more exciting and not lame. I would say try looking in places other than the usual and at guys that show by their appearance that they're more than just average. A fact that I really find interesting in the world is how we can look at so many people each day and everyone has a story some people are so cultured others have just done some really crazy sh*t in their lives. There is always more than meets the eye so try stepping out of your comfort zone and talking to someone who doesn't look and act like the "traditional guy".

BogusUser · Accepted Answer

I would consider myself "non-traditional"...I'm spontaneous, adventurous and crave excitement in all facets of my life.  Before I met my current boyfriend I always envisioned myself with someone who is very similar to me.  Then I met my boyfriend...  He seemed to be very traditional at first...had a 9 to 5 job, liked to stay in instead of "go out", liked to watch movies, very introverted, etc.  I honestly fell head over heels for him and I didn't know why.  The more I got to know him, though, the more I realized why I was so in love with him.  Even though his personality is completely different from mine, we really balance each other out.  He brings me down to Earth and I bring out his crazy and wild side.  This combination has made a very interesting relationship.  It's been 2.5 years and we still have tons of fun together.  My advice-be open to all sorts of guys (lol, not all).  Even if they don't seem like they'd be your type you honestly never really know.  Don't knock 'em until you try 'em!  Hope this helps!

toosexualcat · Accepted Answer

You're dating OLD men, that's why... try dating younger guys or old guys who are younger in their heads! I hate it, trust me, I'm like you... I HATE boring guys but all the men my age are just LIKE that! Well, around here...

Then I started talking to younger guys and found life again...unfortunately that doesnt' always mean success. My boyfriend who's ten years younger is an "old" man...but that's OK, he's good otherwise...and I can get his arse out to do stuff if I really wanted to but yeah, just because they're young doesn't mean you'll get a young mind.

On the other hand, the chances of you finding a FUN person to hang out with are better when they're younger and not so caught up in old people bs. Just know that you may have to babysit from time to time... it's a price you have to pay. But that's life, right? There's always a price for everything...even an old guy is immature from time to time. lol :)

islands7 · Accepted Answer

OK, you don't care for the idea of hanging out or taking lessons in activities you like in order to run into same kind of guys. Perhaps you're already trying that idea. So I'll go the other way, more direct - please understand I have to guess because you posted no photo yet, even though it's part of your question.

"What do you think that is in me, in my looks, etc, that only attracts this kind of guys ? Please help me ... "

I'm going with the opposites attract truism - even to the extreme that you must adopt a 9-5 boring, stable lifestyle that will attract & support the "alive" guys. Seen it happen and today at least two couples are on their yachts, sailing to sandy green islands, younger than 55 years old - well, that's their dream of escape that's not boring to them. Another pair just built their dream vacation A-frame, architect-designed; he was a motorcycle rising drummer/musician attracted to a stable, semi-rural medical supplies/equipment honey. They both made enough money to escape the rat race.

Do you want yet another angle? I'll be looking for that photo ...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You're lying, you're not "dynamic" nor full of life. Because if you were so you wouldn't be complaining about guys being so boring, you'd have had your own cool "activities" and you'd take people's hands and show them the refreshing world they're missing... that is if you were really an interesting person... but all you do is complain like a child! sorry for being harsh but you're being offensive towards more than 90% of guys on earth.

Speaking of self, I my have my own activities and some of them aren't for sharing with a love partner, because women are not like men, you need to realize this eventually and by then you'd appreciate men more. Can you "write" articles with a guy? can you speak to his friends instead of him speaking to them? can you wrestle with him? can you draw with him? LOL the list is unending, you need to have your own life!

I need to ask you though, have you tried dating a younger man? like from college? my guess is that you're only around guys in their 40's, sure these would bore the hell out of you LOL

Prof_Don · Answer

I find it funny how you said that you want someone who wants to enjoy a relationship that can end @ any time...but you don't want a player.

What women tend to not understand is that the long-term mindset is the epicenter of what makes a good guy "good". He thinks about his future so he:

-has a strong work ethic, whether it be work or schooling

-tries to stay out of social/legal trouble (avoids heavy alcohol/drug use, certain places & ppl, etc)

-ignores petty & immature things, including non-serious women when it comes to dating

A "good" guy doesn't bullsh*t around when it comes to life. Why? Cauz he's focused on the long-term. That includes relationships also. He doesn't want to bullsh*t with a woman that is not in for the long haul.

My point? It seems as if you equate a dude that's not in for a quick thrill as "boring". You said that long-term relationships scare you. To be frank...good guys are usually looking for long term. I sincerely feel that you have a bad boy addiction.

Nothing wrong with that...i'm not the one that going to be heartbroken & empty in the end of my life on this earth. :)

blacksheep824 · Answer

This is interesting. I do a lot of very dyanmic activities and when someone asks me what I have been up to, I usually say "nothing" or "same old stuff".

For me all these activities are the same old stuff and girls are too shallow to ever see through the surface and discover what a guy has to offer. Instead they judge the shell. If they see a guy who puts off some "surfer" or rockstar vibe or whatever they think he is an interesting and exciting guy when in reality these are the pussies who can only offer an "image" and no substance. Most guys can only express themselves through the way they dress or with their attitude because deep down they are in fact boring and stupid.

Dynamic people know they are awesome. If you are great, you do not need to tell someone you are; a similar person will notice. If you are boring, you probably have to draw attention to yourself by pretending to be exciting.

I'm surprised at the activities that make someone "exciting". People always say rock climbing or hiking, or skydiving or something. These are just hobbies, and hobbies are something everyone should have, nothing special.

TheGodEmperorLeto · Answer

What do you mean by non-traditional? Because you can almost never do anything these days to be truly free without money and money is limited to only a few. Realize, some of us are in debt due to college (or some other reasons, I dunno, just college here). We have to work. Working a lot takes out our energy, means we have the desire to just relax and rest at home. Now, that doesn't mean we don't enjoy things. I mean, I love sailing, I love hiking, and I love a lot of things, but what's really something you'd enjoy? How about you go do those things and find guys there which are interesting. And let them know you're not interested in the boring same crap.

I'm not really offended myself by the way, I'm just confused as to what you want :P

And I agree that you need to be with someone who has a lot of core interests similar to you.

willytheg · Answer

Where are you meeting boring ones? Bars? Go see live alternative music, Go rock climbing.

Guys (and women except women are less pack animals than men) hang out with people who re-inforce their own values. Investment bankers who think money is a badge of success hand out with other people who think money is a badge of success. Artists who think a bohemian lifestyle and not selling out is a badge of success are going to hang out with other artists who think like that. Academics who think that knowledge-or getting published is a etc, etc., etc.,

Try to know people from different groups. A Parisian who is the any plus ultra in hip will throw a dinner party and have people from many different walks of life, rich & poor, creative & bourgeois, liberal & conservative

M_A_X · Answer

Honestly, have you thought about EXACTLY what it is in that you want in life, and out of a relationship? Do you have an idea of what your ideal man will be like, or do you just seem to be dissatisfied with everything you find and you don't know why? Do you expect a guy to sporadically take you rock climbing or what?

There are lots of adventurous people out there in the world, but to me it just sounds like you have a problem with the routine of regular dating... and there's not necessarily anything wrong with that, but not many people start being adventurous in their 30's... most people actually try their best to get all that out of them BEFORE that point... so... maybe try dating some younger guys?

Anonymous · Answer

hate to break it to you, but the exciting, spontaneous, unpreditcable type of guy you are after is usually the same type of guy who won't stay with the same girl for too long.

islands7 · Answer

It's not you!  After college, work & kids = too tired to tango!  Suck it up and join/work for a country club; take some lessons: dance, golf, tennis, sailing.  Go where the girls are few but the men are many.  Whatever you like to do on top of what's been mentioned - haunt those places as well.  If you really think it's your looks, please post some photos.  Feel free to bounce your own ideas off me.

Anonymous · Answer

you are doing what girlsdo best. make up their ideal guy and hope to find him. STOP! why women do this I'll never understand. mr. perfect doesn't exist. you don't go searching for a guy who doesn't exist. you go out there and meet guys who you possibly hit it off with and see where it goes.

rgtsc01 · Answer

Maybe you just need to look in a more "target-rich" envirnoment. Go where the action is. Join a hiking club, skiing club, bicycle club, volunteer as crew on a racing yacht, etc.

Jager66 · Answer

sounds like you need to try new places to meet men, the ones your useing now are obviously not the crowed your interested in. try joining clubs or activity groups that go out and do the things you enjoy doing.

BogusUser · Answer

It's hard to find someone who keeps you interested.  I agree with the other user though, try joining clubs that attract adventurous people.  Or maybe try online dating if you haven't.  Trust me, I had to go through tons of guys to find one (my current man) who wasn't boring.

Vasillilaw · Answer

I say just keep trucking and the guy of your dreams will show up when you least expect it! (:

BlackSuperman · Answer

well... go where there are guys who are like you... plenty of em...

Anonymous · Answer

You're just gonna have to wait it out for the guy you are looking for.Opposites do attract though.

Asailum · Answer

cause you haven't met someone amazing like me yet.

Anonymous · Answer

if you're bored when you're with a guy it's because you're boring too, clearly

TheCheshireCat · Answer

Opposites attract you know...

Anonymous · Answer

try extreme sports clubs

live2aid · Answer

Like poles repel

Why do I meet boring traditional guys when all I dream of is a dynamic open minded guy like me!

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