Heavy flirting. Now he doesn't look at me at all anymore ??

[Anonymous]

Me and this guy we're doing some heavy flirting and I told him that I (and even all my friends) notice him looking at me a lot when we're talking in a group even when I'm not the one talking to him. He said he never noticed and now he doesn't even glance at me even if we're just talking to each other.

His interest went from 100% to 0%. Why did he stop looking at me completely I wasn't complaining I told him I liked it but now he stopped. He doesn't even want to really talk directly to me when I make the effort to talk to HIM...I feel ignored now .

Updates

+1 y

The real question: Why did he stop looking at me completely?

Updates

+1 y

NEW question: Why does it even matter that I noticed if he knows the interest is mutual?


Guys explain this to me.

Updates

+1 y

He said he was trying to cut down on looking at me too much that he wound up unintentionally not looking at me at all. We're back on again, thanks!

[Tamikaze]

Hey, you put him on the spot. You made an observation that, for some reason, made him uncomfortable and now he is doing everything he can to show you he isn't looking at you.

In the scheme of things, even though flirtation can feel great and really make you feel like the guy is in to you, it can mean very little. I have had plenty of flirty moments as I have the gift of gab and am not afraid to joke and have fun with a member of the opposite sex, but I know that they rarely lead anywhere. In fact, I am certain some guys flirt with women they have no actual interest in. Same is true of women.

So, sorry this one ended the way it did, but in the future, just enjoy the flirting, don't make any observations about it to the guy unless the day comes where he is your boyfriend. If he asks you out for a date, accept, but beyond that just enjoy the fun of it.

[meesh1220]

Well look at it as being fun while it lasted. Try not to think too much into what happened. He's not the last guy on earth! Move on sweets.

[Vasillilaw]

Maybe he didn't actually like you? I'm not sure though. I'm not a guy, so I have no real idea. lol. Good luck, though! (:

[Jtmatt]

Well you caught him flirting and on top of that, you embarrassed him in from of strangers too... so now he feels that he is a creep and he thinks you and your friends also feel that he is a creep. Since you had said something, he will never do it again. You blew your chance with him.

[Asker]

What? It was mutual heavy one-on-one flirting it wasn't like it was a secret subtle thing.

So he actually lost interest in me because I said I noticed?

[Jtmatt]

Yes he most likely lost interest when you mentioned you noticed.

[Asker]

Why does it even matter that I noticed if he knows the interest is mutual?

Explain this to me really.

[Jtmatt]

Ok what is your definition of "heavy flirting"? Just eye contact? In your description you said that you told him that you and ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS noticed him flirting with you. Now why would he try to flirt with you while 50 of your homies are watching him? That is not mutual interest, that is called embarrassment. Mutual interest is just between you and him, not you and your friends and him. Have you ever talked to him before you called him out?

[Asker]

Heavy flirting - making out, groping, dirty jokes, hugging, and all that.

My friends - 3 main girls and he doesn't see all them at once, mostly just my bff is the one he sees.

I told this to him I noticed one on one when we we're alone not in front of anyone else.

Yes I knew him for a year...

[Jtmatt]

So he is not "just a guy". He is a friend that you knew for a year. Ok, this is what is happening...he is used to flirting with you on and one on one basis. You told him when you both were alone that your friends (the 3 main girls) noticed him and you flirting. That is embarrassing. He did not want anybody to know what you and him were doing. Now that he feels everybody knows he is going to stop. See where I am going?

[Asker]

I am a girl trying to figure out a guy. I have no idea where this is going...

So is he going to stop looking at me forever and never flirt with me again even one on one?

Or will he get over it/forget...should I tell him that I notice he's ignoring me now so he'll stop that too?

[Jtmatt]

You have to be patient. If he is not flirting with you now, just wait a while and he will come back around like normal. He will not forget, but he will be much more careful next time he tries to "heavy flirt" with you. Telling him to stop ignoring you will make you look needy for attention and that is not the proper way of solving the issue.

[Asker]

Okay so since I can't be upfront with him how should I act around him while he's going through this personal problem. We usually joke around and stuff now he doesn't even want to walk next to me for too long. Should I change with him...tone down the way I used to act?

[Jtmatt]

Act normal. There is no need to change how you were acting (unless it was questionable in the first place). As I said, give him time to open up again.

[Asker]

Thank you so much!

You have been amazing.

[yesnomaybeidontknow]

Ha you shot yourself in the foot. He is overcompensating now. You made him feel like a creep for noticing you, and guys take it very personally when a pretty girl makes them feel ashamed for appreciating beauty.

[Asker]

So now what am I supposed to do?

I can't undo what I've said...

[ShyGurlTee]

um weirdo! lols.. I'm just kidding. this happened with a boy I messed around with. Trying to figure out what goes through a guys mind, is like trying to fly lmao. impossible haha..i wouldn't worry about it.

[meesh1220]

Lol! True that!

[Van_Leeuwenhoek]

the guy sounds like a flakey douche. I suppose you could try a little bit to recover what you had before but if he continues to ignore you then I suppose you might just have to start ignoring him too.

[jaycon]

you made things awkward for him by pointing out what was going on.. now he's not comfortable flirting with you.. move on

[chatforfun]

The answer lies in your question only. He would have got another gal to flirt more than YOU.

[Asker]

Huh? I flirted with him...

[Anonymous]

Maybe when you didn't gave him a face so he thought you doesn't have any interest in him and he count it as waiting of time that's why he gave up!

[likewoahhh]

douchebag.

move on :)

[Tphilly187]

agree

[JaredRN]

It doesn't move on

[brianccc]

Move on gurl

[Asker]

Can you explain the behavior to me.

Telling me to move on doesn't help me for future reference.

[Tphilly187]

get on with your life

[Asker]

Can you explain the behavior to me.