How can I hit on a coworker?

Question

I have a really bad crush on a guy that works with me and I just don't know how to approach/compliment him in a respectful way. He looks at me and smiled frequently but in afraid he's just being friendly. How can I approach or show interest without being disrespectful/too direct?

Texaskid1 · Accepted Answer

Dear Rookie:

Dating a coworker is baaaaad juju. If you are this guy's manager you might as well just ask to be fired.

Many people think that men will take any women that throws themselves at them. Not true.

Over the years I have had several female coworkers and one two supervisors flirt hard with me. Their behavior ranged from making eyes with me , looking me up and down, getting into my personal space and even physical contact. Every single time I felt uncomfortable as shit. And every single time I hard ignored every single one of them.

Why? Because my ass is on the clock and I don't mess with the paycheck.

Believe it or not the current laws and policies also protect men. If this guys says that you are making him uncomfortable or that you are pressuring him for a date or sex he can report you to HR and before you know it you are getting suspended pending investigation. You could lose your job. Employers take these allegations very , very seriously. If they do not then they could get sued.

Flirt outside of work with men that you don't work with.

Jackieboi · Accepted Answer

One thing that used to work wonders for girl friends (two words) back in high school when they wanted the attention of some guy but were too shy in general to start it off. Was to just be as concious as possible about their every move when theyre around that guy. This lead to the guy subconciously having his focus subverted towards looking at them and soon enough they would start talking snd hitting on them. As long as the guy originally had at least some faint interest in her it worked several times that i witnessed.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Dating someone you work with can go really really wrong. So be very careful. It maybe ok if he's in a different department. So if something goes well you won't see each other every day.

Also what are your work's policies about co-workers dating. Because a lot of places have rules against it.

That being said if you really feel a connection and really feel a need to pursue this. Start off with just friendly things. Grab a lunch together or coffee.
See if there are feelings on both sides. If there are talk about how you want to handle how you'll act at work. Discuss how you'll handle it if you break up.

Hope he's honest about how he'll act.

AleenaAggrawal · Accepted Answer

It's a big NO from my side. Sorry but to be extremely honest, it can and will get you in trouble. A lot of people can put on the work place decency violation tag on you. While it may sound wrong, due to the increasing number of harrassment at workplaces it's kinda necessary. Plus if he/her rejects you it would be uncomfortable for you two to work together. Think about all this before you proceed.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

Is h eeven Single? be polite, be his Friend For Now. Light and Sweet Convo. xx

ask4any · Answer

First off, dating a co-worker is probably the worst mistake anyone can make UNLESS, one of you are willing to quit your job for another if it gets serious. If you do date this man and it goes south for some reason, you work together so there's that distraction, you can't concentrate on your job because becuase your emotional over the ordeal not to mention there just right over there, you start calling in sick to avoid any uncomfortable situations and the next thing you know you are what? Quitting your job for another. My advice to you would be to avoid it all

zagor · Answer

Have you found out anything about him yet? Such as if he's married? If you are interested in someone at work it had better be based on something more substantial than appearance and smiles.

And don't (necessarily) listen to the people here who say you should never get involved with a co-worker. I've worked at a company where several couples met and married while working there.

Vick2727 · Answer

First be yourself. Invite him to have lunch with you. Talk to him, and learn about where he’s from, and if he has a girlfriend. Throw hints that you like him too. Don’t play hard to get. If he ask hey want to hang out after work, and you have time. Try to take the chance. Literally be brave. Compliment him every now, and then. Trust me this will work.

MrCommodore · Answer

Just talk to him, learn a little more about him first. If you work directly with him, you can come up with ways to work alone with him.

Find out what his non-work interests or hobbies are, if you show an interest or demonstrate some knowledge on those things, you will definitely be on his mind.

Daylight7550 · Answer

I wouldn't. Many companies have policies against employees dating due to possible conflict of interest.

Second, if it goes south, it could get really awkward.

Third, is this employee a manger or supervisor of any kind? If he is, than he's automatically hands off.

yoganshB · Answer

Find the points of intersection between you and him. If you both like black tea then talk to him then ask him if he can have a tea with you. Then the black tea will ensure that he gets interested in you. Now it's your turn to make the choices.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Ask him about his family. Ask him where he's from. Ask him what he's interested in and what he's passionate about and what he's interested in. Just talk to him and be his friend and get to know him. Maybe eventually you'll end up hanging out outside of work.

lucas262 · Answer

I wouldn't do it, can come back to haunt you in so many ways.

That said at a grocery store job i stood there trying not to stare at the pretty cashier. I failed and always played it off. I asked 1 girl to see a movie and she gave me a firm ,, NO!,, didn't matter I was nervous as hell.

Anonymous · Answer

Dating co-worker is bad idea from start.

Never ended well to me.

Guess, what will happen, if you brake up?

All this a put to side.

Just ask him for some help after work or suggest to go somewhere together. Just make sure it is done without witnesses and that he is not married or has girlfriend.

lamebeain · Answer

Don't really have a good answer here but do have a tip. there's these 100 or more questions web pages that are supposed to help with making conversation. You could start there, as in just get talking and see where that takes you.

Should start there anyways because it's stupidly easy to fall in love over things like looks. It's not until somebody opens their mouth that you find them to be terrible.

JonesyBoy2004 · Answer

Take it casually ask if you can chat over coffee or that and just say that you like them if you are confident about it. Guys like it if you are confident it really helps are remember be yourself.

I hope my advice has been helpful
Have a good day Madam

WalterRadio · Answer

Just ask him out directly. Maybe try lunch, "Hey, I am about to go to __ for lunch, and it would be nice to have some company. Join me!"

Anonymous · Answer

Don’t date a coworker. I liked a guy at my old job too & it just got awkward. I sometimes go back to visit my other friends but I just ignore him. It might be embarrassing if he doesn’t like you back

slatyb · Answer

Hey , I'm going out for dinner after work. Want to join me? If he declines work suggestion that another day would work, then drop it.

rkon4117 · Answer

Don’t! You should never date a person, flirt, or persue that you work with. That’s a recipe for disaster!!

alex_x988 · Answer

What you really liked in him like is he average or hot..
Just curious..
first ask if he has a girlfriend. This will give him an indirect hint. Then see his body language and you will know if to proceed further or not

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Ask him for help on something outside the workplace

Iron_Man · Answer

I don't like to use the word hit on people instead why don't you just call it flirting? So just talk to the guy be upbeat and smile and flirt

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think you can be too direct lol. But do you guys ever talk? If so, just ask him if he'd like to grab a coffee with you sometime?

Piteka5 · Answer

With a stick. Ahah I'm joking, just saying hi in X how's your name is a good enough, just smile and be friendly, works wonders

WarDaddy1969 · Answer

Walk up look them in the eye and say. Hey there jimbo gimme some of that leg. That's how I do it then a joke to leave a way out.

dbr1987 · Answer

Tell him to have sex with you or treathen with a false rape alligation

HylianTimelord · Answer

Do not fish off the company pier if you want to keep your job.

BrotherFrost · Answer

Ask him out. No excuses. He'll respect that even if he refuses.

MewsterMeow · Answer

Don't. Your workplace will turn to hell and when it ends.

Anonymous · Answer

Order him coffee. Spill on him and sorry. If I were your wife, I’d clean your clothes 24/7.

Anonymous · Answer

wait for a big meeting at your job and in the meeting when everyone is watching grab his junk

MlleCake · Answer

Don't flirt with co-workers.

slurreyboy · Answer

Don't fish off the company pier

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Don't shit where you eat, rookie.

Philyouup · Answer

Don’t. Don’t shit where you eat.

Gedaria · Answer

Just chat, if you klick you are on your way...

Shamalien · Answer

Its ur co worker wise up

Rob171977 · Answer

Never mix business with pleasure.

Anonymous · Answer

you don't YOU DONT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT

moviedude714 · Answer

I like this question

Anonymous · Answer

Asking him for sex I think?

COMMODOREII · Answer

Very carefully

yourfavperson · Answer

Don't. omg

raju0000 · Answer

just say it directly

Robbie18 · Answer

Bad idea!

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