Why do girls try to avoid me?

[Anonymous]

I have realized that I always greet girls with enthusiasm, and they greet back (but just out of respect or custom, not that they really like me) but then they get the ugliest smirk on their face and walk on. Or when I start talking with them I continually feel like they are trying to escape, or eventually give an excuse not to talk to me (like, "I've got to work, but I'll catch you later", but then never does, or "Listen, I've got to go now! but I'll see ya round" I hate it when they say "Listen"!. )

It really bothers me greatly, so much that it breaks my heart everytime. Is there something wrong with me, if yes, what will that be? Or is it just that girls are plain rude? I am slowly starting to develop a deep resentment and hate to all girls, please prove me otherwise.

[AJtogo]

There's a problem with your thinking, not the girls you meet. I'm picturing an enthusiastic greeting that's probably freaking the girls out and that little smirk you're getting is probably a "holy f**k, is this guy for real!?" Try taming that down some.

As well, you're trying to read too much into their reactions or nonreactions. You don't know what they're really thinking. It's not them that need changing, it's you. Not everyone you meet is going to want to hang out with you or even like you and, yes, they're probably being polite with some of what they say. As well, those excuses for not continuing a conversation with you may be legitimate reasons and not a getaway excuse.

I'm guessing that your thinking something along the lines of, if I'm really friendly then girls will like me, but you're weirding them out. It's not working for you so tame it down some.

[Asker]

Why would a friendly greeting freak people out? Isn't that supposed to cheer them up.

and yes I am "for REAL"

[AJtogo]

OK, just keep doing what you're doing then; it's been working so well for you, and good luck with that.

It's pathetically, obvious that you just want to hear the positive answers such as evette that say there's nothing wrong.

[Asker]

"holy f**k, is this guy for real!?"

I'm just wondering what that means exactly?

[AJtogo]

Bluntly, it means that people who are in a wrong state of thought, like you, don't know it and refuse to acknowledge that there is something wrong with them. They choose to blame their problems on others, such as what you're doing with statements suggesting that there must be something wrong with the girls; they avoid me, say things they don't mean, are rude, and you're developing a hate and resentment towards them..

Sorry guy, stop blaming them, it's you.

[Asker]

What would it help to blame myself for their sake? Are they the masters of me?

[dannyboy187]

I'd be freaked out by an overly enthusiastic women, so I am sure that's how they feel. I think they are amused by your desperation, hence the smirk. You can be happy and whatnot, but tone down on the enthusiasm and be cool and relaxed around them. Small talk is fine to kick things off.

[evette]

It sounds like nothing is wrong with you , you are just overly anxious to please them so they can like you. Get some confidence about your self do not go up to all the girls all the time see if they will come up to you . If they do not than they are missing out on being around a great guy.

[Asker]

Thank you evette,

I try this sometimes, but I need to practise it more often. I try to remain calm and wait for them to come to me, but then I get impatient and run off again... This has been going on for some time, and I'm not getting younger... and get rejected all the time before even taking the first step. It sucks. But thanks for the boost.

[Anonymous]

It's you. Not them. When you greet girls with enthusiasm it freaks them out. They most likely think you're a creep. You've got to be more casual and less forward.

[Asker]

Do you know why that freaks them out?

[Opinion Owner]

It just looks psychotic. Like you're insane or something. Crazy, that kind of thing, because crazy people are usually very forward and insanely enthused.

[Asker]

"....because crazy people are usually very forward and insanely enthused"

That is a pretty big assumption not to mention judgemental.

Do you know many crazy people?

[Opinion Owner]

All "crazy people" have been portrayed in such a way since the dawn of media, be it Dr. Frankenstein or the homeless guy who talks about aliens abducting him. And yes, I've taken a few psychology classes, as well as first hand knowledge. Whether or not it's fair, or judgmental, when people are greeted with an overly enthused person, they tend to become a little weary.

[Asker]

One thing is, I don't. I wish people will show a bit more enthuisiasm for goodness sake! If every girl greeted me the way I greeted them, it would brigthen up my day. I enjoy being freaked out because it is a new and informative experience from which you grow. Where are all the freaky girls? All the rest are bleak and boring...

[Opinion Owner]

That's actually not a bad way of looking at things. If you can handle most people being weirded out by you, you just might find someone just like you.