I have a crush on a girl, But I have a boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on a girl who I talk to/flirt with in class sometimes. This is my first real girl crush so it kind of scares me. I hope I don't sway towards women soon. I have always watched girl p*rn and have made out with a couple of my girl friends but that's it. I've always liked guys much better. I love my boyfriend though and I feel bad for crushing on this girl. He says if I can get her in a threesome with us, that would be fine. But the thing is, I don't think he would like if he found out I have feelings for her. What do I do?

[lericah]

Well if you subscribe exclusively to serial monogamy then you just have to determine which chance you will take. Either determine if what you want in a relationship you will find in him OR if the other girl presents a acceptable chance of finding what your looking for.

Of course there is always a polygamous relationship for an option. Not much information on it considering main stream culture doesn't believe you can commit to and be connected with more than 1 person. If you were to do this please tell me how it works out It would answer a lot of other questions I'm running into with some other thoughts

[ZenSpace]

OK,

1. the "rules" about cheating apply for girls just the same as for guys. So if you want to have some kind of relationship with this girl, you should break up with your boyfriend first.

2. IMHO casual sex with people you have real feelings for never works. So A 3-some with this girl and your boyfriend sounds like a bad idea. It'd be better to just have a 3-some with some other girl that you have no feelings for.

[Dollface-86]

I couldn't agree more with both points.

and don't have a 3 some with a random girl and your boyfriend. You don't want to risk him becoming attracted to her and if that happened it would be on you. 3 somes only work out when all parties are random. when all parties are single looking for some fun. If you have two girlfriend with one guy there could be jealousy. If there is a girlfriend and boyfriend bringing in a girl, the guy could be attracted to her and end up pursuing her.

[ZenSpace]

@DOllface, thanks for the agreement and thanks for adding your perspective on the 3-somes. It seems a shame to me that a happy healthy couple would have to rule out such a fun event as 3-somes. (I love them, even though I have only had a couple) But I understand how the girl could feel threatened. I guess if a serious couple was going to have a 3-some, it would be up to the guy to make sure his girlfriend felt secure and not threatened.

[Vasillilaw]

Well, I'll tell you what I did. First of all my boyfriend doesn't care if I "have to" make out with another girl...which I mentioned just because I thought he'd find it hot, but apparently he'd get jealous. It's kind of sweet. lol. But I have this crush on this girl and I tell my boyfriend about it all the time. He doesn't seem to care and he knows I'm mostly joking although I do like her a lot. That's how I handle it. Besides, I don't see this girl quite often anymore so it's not really that much of a concern.

[amylynn]

I think you need to weigh out the pros and cons of being with this girl or staying with your boyfriend. Where will you be happier? And if you pick the girl, you don't have to tell your boyfriend that you now like girls and your breaking up, just tell him that you have feelings for someone else, and then you could have a chance with the girl. If you aren't sure who to pick, think about how it would be like to be in a relationship with her.

[shweta]

Find out first is it guys or girls you like. The thought of you not want to be a lesb might be blocking what is it you feel in real. So think and know what is it you truly need.

[CuriousEddie]

Do you think it is really an emotional attraction, or just a sexual interest? If it is an emotional attraction, do you that there's any chance that it will be reciprocated?

If you think you want to try to pursue this girl, I think you should tell your boyfriend and break up. It wouldn't be fair to him.

[thisGUYknows]

i'd hate to cockblock on your boyfriend but your best answer makes sense. cheating is cheating. maybe just having a crush on a girl would be harmless but if you start having actual feelings for her then it might start some awkwardness for you and your bf

[sweet_18]

No big deal but don't cheat on your boyfriend cause he's still the person you're in the relationship with.

[Anonymous]

this gay guy told me this saying once "Bi now, gay later" (buy now, pay later get it haha)

[hALLDAY]

That's why I don"t date bisexual girls.

[sweet_18]

LOL

[Shadoww]

its mabey just a little girls crush, no bigge.