Girl has a boyfriend and has a crush on me?

[Anonymous]

this girl and me got really close , but she has a long term (3 yrs) relationship with her Boyfriend . she always flirts with me and definitely has a thing for me. I'm not too experienced, so I initially played hard to get to see if she is really into me or is she only friends.. then it turned out that she had a thing for me I guess. her relationship was long distance for quite sometime and they visit each other once in 2 weeks or so, then one day I decided to ask her if we were only "friends" or are we anything more than that.. she got all angry and started scolding me and then said "we are good friends".. we still talk often, what should I do? I really really like her.. PLS HELP !

Updates

+1 y

just a clarification, she flrits ONLY with me. with all other guys she is just normal and does not do much with them. she all the time wants to hang out with me, touching me and doing things for me..etc..

[Phoenix52]

I'm dealing with the same kind of sh*t.

This girl I work with has a controlling boyfriend that won't let her do certain things.

I liked her at first and made an attempt to hang out, but she refused (didn't know she was in a relationship at the time). She started flirting with me, touching me sometimes, and teasing me in ways after I tried.

At present, I ignore her. I do so because she's not worth my time and I got sick of her teasing ways. I know this because:

1. She's still with her boyfriend

2. She disrespects me whenever I try talking to her about other things

3. She still tries to play games with me

So I tell you what - cross this girl off your list and go meet new girls who are single and looking. You won't do well trying to pursue someone who's taken already. It's not healthy for either of you. If you want to hang out with her, use her as a CASUAL FRIEND to meet new girls. Don't let your emotions come into play, and don't let her appearance fool you. She's NOT WORTH IT.

-Even if she broke it off with her boyfriend, she's STILL NOT WORTH IT because of her flirty behavior behind her boyfriend's back at the time. That's known as a 'player' because if you reverse genders, it's a guy who has a girlfriend, yet is messing around with other females.

[neberle]

This will sound cocky. But at some point or another everyone of my friends girlfriends has had a crush on me. A couple exceptions here and there but it happens. Sometimes you have to be the honorable guy and keep your fingers out of the cookie jar. There are plenty of beautiful women in the world and as long as you don't close off and allow yourself to meet and connect with them. There is no reason why you can't find a beautiful girl that is not in a relationship.

If you want to manipulate and play games yes you could probably get her into bed even break them up but if they have been together for 3 years you are going to have a hard time taking her as your own.

[Chrissy0038]

dont mess with her, she has a boyfriend, if you mess up her relationship... if she lets (you) a guy she's friends with get between her 3 year relationship... (and leave her boyfriend for you) she can deffinitly leave you in 3 years for someone else.

plus if you take her away from her boyfriend, karmas a bitch and therefore... something will bite you in the ass one day for it.. real bad.

dont do it... 3 years is long. I'm sure she loves the guy.. if she's that much of a bitch to do it to him, shell do it to u... she flirts with you but she has a bf... she deffinitly flirts with other guys too.

shell flirt with other guys while she's with you too. she's doing all this in front of you and your so blinded by it. just drop it before it becomes too serious...

its my opinion... I'm not telling you what to do or whatever. but its for your own good.

this girl seems like trouble.

look at the things she does. and she has a boyfriend. and not just any boyfriend... (OF 3 YEARRRRSSS!)

[VashX323]

I agree, I'm going through something similar and this surely helped me out. Cept this girl is Engaged so I'm sure she probably would do the same with other guys. I talk to her about it and she tells me she doesn't but I still don't feel satisfied by that type of thing. It's not a bad thing if she leaves him for you because that means she kinda likes you more tham her current boyfriend but if she's acting the way she is (she's probably bored of him) and she will eventually get bored of you. And repeat.

[JustDance]

try 8 years, and the girl I like is flirting hardcore with all her guy friends. so I stopped talkiing to her and now we are no longer best friends. I think she knew how I felt, but her emotional cheating is just too much. if her boyfriend knew...

[1938197]

@VashX323 It makes me upset when people think they're not special enough to be the only person a woman in a relationship will ever have a crush on. I had a crush on someone while in a relationship and while we did talk intensely about psychology, I never acted on it physically or in any intimate verbal way, even though there were opportunities. I wanted to be sure I was in the right relationship and talking with him was a way of exploring the only other option I saw viable (in my lifetime, not just that moment) prior to the final decision. At one point however, I almost broke off the relationship.
I don't know why it developed. It was a combination of intellect, the moment, biology, and his physical attraction. I think he believed I needed to break up prior to even confirming he felt something for me. And this was respectful, but too passive and uncertain for me. Perhaps it was because he was younger than me. But I had something 99% perfect with someone like I'd never had before and I wasn't going to take that risk with someone who believed he was one of many. I had never had a crush like this on anyone and had never considered actually marrying someone like I did this person.
I am terrified of texting this person because I love my SO and have much more in common with my SO than with my crush who is more my imagination than himself.
So there... intelligent choices trump chemical choices.

[ginny]

More often than not, when you date someone who has just come out of a long term relationship, or is still in one when you meet them, you run the risk of your relationship being a “rebound.” Are you familiar with what I mean by that?

[Asker]

no can you pls explain explicitly? and I would be seeing this girl soon, what should I do!

[krazEkid]

a rebound is what happens when you break up with someone, and you get with another person to either A-fill that void that is no longer there, or B-use the new guy to get over the ex...which in most cases it doesn't work.

[ginny]

If you are interested in having a “long term relationship” (LTR) with this girl, you may want to wait until she is over her current boyfriend before you get involved with her. She may not realize it, but it's not likely that she is emotionally available right now. You will probably be her band aid (rebound).

[ginny]

If we don't take the time to realize our own part in why a relationship failed we are more likely to repeat the behavior that contributed to its failure. It always takes two. Realizing this is a process. Sometimes it takes one or more failures... it just depends on the person.

[ginny]

If you know what you want & recognize if someone has that to offer, you are less likely to be sorry later. Starting a LTR with someone who jumps from one relationship to another is likely to leave you in the same spot as the last guy.

[ginny]

If you are not looking for something long term with her this may be a win win for you. Just keep in mind that if she is unaware of what she is doing, the blame is most likely going to be placed on you in the end.

[krazEkid]

IMO this girl is trouble. I don't care what anyone says, but flirting with other guys when your in a relationship with someone already is completely wrong. hell that girl shouldn't even want to talk to other guys. if she is flirting with you, chances are she most likely doesn't have feelings for her current boyfriend, and has most likely cheated on him in the past. if I was the guy and she left me for you and you knew we were together, I would probably hunt you down. and if she is doing to her current boyfriend, what's stopping her from doing to you to. she is crazy, and she always will be. don't trust a hoe, never trust a hoe, won't trust a hoe!