Why did he get so angry? Guys! Would you react like him too?

[Anonymous]

So my friend asked a guy (who flirts with me a lot, super nice to me, cares about me) whether he likes me or not. He then got so angry and said that I'm not his type of girl and asked my friend if I told her to ask him if he likes me.

WHY did he get so angry?! If he doesn't like me he can say "no" and that's it.. Also, if I really am not his type, why is he flirting with me, be very caring, and tell me his insecurities?

GUYS! (and girls too) I really need your help on this..

Why did he get so angry? Does he even genuinely like me?

[Anonymous]

First of all did you witness it? I know you want to trust that your friend was totally upfront but sometimes people get jealous or friends will end up crushing on the same person. I can't even name all the times my closest in high school tried to screw me over with boy. He might've gotten defensive or hurt in regards to something she said then she failed to mention to you, for example my friend told a guy who I liked and who liked me that I was totally uninterested. In any case he could want to tell you himself and not want other people up in his business. He could've gotten taken off guard and sometimes people deny things, he might not know you like him and be scared if his feelings got out it would ruin what you do have, he might feel pressured by the question and just want to take things at a more natural pace, he might've preferred if you came up and told him how you felt, he may not want gossip to f*** things up since it really can. If he is still being really nice to you its obvious at the very least he wants to be your friend enjoy that for now and don't obsess about this, if your crushing on him ask him directly at some point to grab bite, for coffee, or a movie. Don't have your friend do it.

[Asker]

"He could've gotten taken off guard and sometimes people deny things, he might not know you like him and be scared if his feelings got out it would ruin what you do have, he might feel pressured by the question and just want to take things at a more natural pace, he might've preferred if you came up and told him how you felt, he may not want gossip to f*** things up since it really can."

I totally agree upon this one and hope it is true.

[Asker]

After this incident, if I don't pick up his call, he would call again the next day.

TBH I did witness it.. my friend was the one who initiated without getting my clear "ok" and I did sense a little jealousy but she knows that he likes me and I know she didn't do it to screw his and my relationship. Yet, his emotions towards me are never clear cut because he teases me oh so much! For example, while chatting I accidentally sent him <3 and he was like "what is this" and I said "oops, wrong box"..

[Asker]

and he said "no hearts" and I said "it wasn't for you" and then he said "be quiet" and quickly changed the subject. If he does have feelings for me.. shouldn't he have reacted differently in a situation like this? What do you think? Thanks!

[hLovebughelp123]

It could be the fact that he doesn't work well with expressing his emotions. Plus, you weren't the one that asked him, so his anger could help emphasize to your friend that he doesn't like you (even if that is not what he truly feel). I think that he felt there was a chance that he was looking too obvious, which is why your friend was asking him. This is why he asked your friend if you sent her to ask him.

He doesn't want to say yes and find out you don't feel the same way. It's a turn-down or a small rejection and its quite embarrassing and awkward. Guys are not to good with rejection, though some play it off well. There is high possibility that he does like you but he seems like the type of guy who won't admit it unless you two (you and him only--not your friends) were on the topic and you showed interest. OR he probably would like you to say it first OR express it mutually. It's just an inference. GOOD LUCK (:

[Asker]

What should I do? (How should I act towards him?)

Do you think (if he did really like) his feelings for me would change?

I am so mad.. :(

[hLovebughelp123]

I think you should act the same towards him.

If anything, I think that you should talk to him and try to find out the truth--slither your way into the topic.

But first, when you are speaking to him, start out with a "Hi" and apologize for your friends behavior or just explain that she didn't mean to get him upset and it wasn't planned or anything, so he doesn't feel cornered, in a sense.

If he likes you, somebody calling him out on his feelings shouldn't change the way he feels.

[Asker]

I don't want him to stay angry at me and not trust me because he thinks that my friend and I cynically did that to him.. Should I be upfront and tell him what I did and say sorry? Would this ruin our relationship even more?

Or.. should just act like I don't know and nothing happened and just act the same?

Thanks!

[hLovebughelp123]

I think that you should wait to see how he acts towards you. If there is anger and resistance, I thought you should talk to him but don't say that you planned it---just apologize for your friend asking him. Unless you want him to have a clue that you like him (if you like him), you can tell him that you just wanted to know. But if he acts completely normal towards you, you do the same.

[Anonymous]

dude, he obviously likes you. he probs just panicked and got all defensive because he was surprised someone found out his secret ;)

[Asker]

Yet, his emotions towards me are never clear cut because he teases me oh so much! For example, while chatting I accidentally sent him <3 and he was like "what is this" and I said "oops, wrong box" and he said "no hearts" and I said "it wasn't for you" and then he said "be quiet" and quickly changed the subject. If he does have feelings for me.. shouldn't he have reacted differently in a situation like this? What do you think? Thanks!

[EiVene]

Guys tease girls they like and he's teasing you in a friendly/flirty manner so that's a positive sign. You should totally have fun with him and not get caught up in your head or caught up in games. I wouldn't take how he may or may not have reacted when your friend asked him over what he does and says to you directly. I agree that he probably just freaked out a bit at being put on the spot unexpectedly. If you want to know how someone feels tell them how you feel or just ask.

[DigitalAcolyte]

He could;

1) Really like you and been caught off guard (Not likely)

2) Have some social anxiety issues and therefore not really be mad but anxious which can be mistaken as mad fairly easily. (You can be a social person and still have social anxiety issues)

3) If he does like you he could be upset that you asked someone to ask him (Even though you did not) in fear that you may not like him.

4) Be a total psycho (Not a real clinical definition)

Just for the record, guys can flirt with girls in a friendly manner and not be interested in anything further than that just as much as girls can. Some people are just flirty... Especially if your a Virgo or Libra (For the astronomically inclined)

Best course of action (If your actually interested): confront him and ask him yourself.

If your interested but fear he may not want to be around you if he found out... then leave it as is.

If your not interested then leave it as is.

Oh, if and when you confront him, have a friend nearby (NEAR BY) just in case.

[steve2chill]

It must be because you flirt back and even if he doesn't fancy you, its nice to feel wanted and attractive, and if you are not his type, you sure are his type of personality that he likes to flirt with because of your responce to him. He may of got angry because you didn't ask him yourself in private where no one else could hear his responce, because questions like that alway come better from the source, not third party where it could seem a little childish. If you do like him tell him yourself and even then if he says no, your flirting will still continue if you want it to..

[Asker]

wow you are so right!

if he is only flirting because I flirt back.. how do I know his feelings for me are genuine?

[steve2chill]

By reading your questions and answers, I can tell you both like each other. Yes you was a little harsh think he may be doing a bit of tit for tat (English phrase, you did it to me so I am going to do it to you). Like anonymous said to you, he may be scared of humiliation/rejection but you are clearly attracted to him and vise versa. So why don't you take the leap he's affraid of and ask him out I guarantee he will say yes..

[MaxwellSmart]

Like I said, its not easy. In my opinion, every time a situation gets us that worked up to the point of anger or extreme happiness its because we care about the situation deeply. Maybe he didn't want his "secret" to get out and didn't want anybody to know until he was ready. Maybe he thought he was doing a good job at not being so obvious and when you friend asked him, it was like a slap to the face because it was so obvious. I just have to say that even if he looked angry, this was a "good" reaction from him, it means this is something he cares about, if he had said just "no", then he probably didn't feel so strongly about the whole thing and you were reading him wrong. Just wait and see if he talks to you again and how he behaves, if he talks like nothing happened, then he is OK with the whole thing, if he changes (and it'll be pretty obvious) just move on.

[Asker]

But why would he say I'm not his type? and to assume that I asked my friend to do such a thing..?

I was really surprised he got so angry and got such a negative and huge reaction out of him. I thought he would just say no and change the subject or something. How should I act towards him now?

[Asker]

He got really worked up because he really liked me or he because he thought my friend and I were working together to get an answer out of him and thought that was cynical..

What do you think?

[Sky1017]

Probably it's cause the question caught him off guard and he didn't know if he should tell your friend if he likes you or not. Tbh guys aren't usually prepared for girls asking them if they like their friend and so it's more than like he just panicked rather than he doesn't like you

[MaxwellSmart]

No easy answers. I have a girl who told me didn't like me and yet she keeps talking, teasing me, flirting with me and got ANGRY (extremely) now that I stopped talking to her. Sometimes we just need to stop worrying about people's behavior and let them be.

[Asker]

Since your a guy.. why would a guy get so angry about another friend asking him? If he really did not like me at all, why would he even get that much angry?

[kidblue]

he might have gotten mad because it's true and maybe he thought word was getting around somehow and he didn't wan that...plus it could have somethin to do with him bein worried about getting rejected

[DocClassic]

well first off, if you aren't afraid of humiliation, there's something wrong. second of all, its just a bad look to have afriend to ask something like that

[christian2724]

Men and women aren't all that different. If you don't like humiliation... chances are we don't either. Use your brain. We're not a different species.

[Anonymous]

he got embarrassed. prob didn't think other people could tell. he def likes you.

my guess? he doesn't think YOU do and is covering to spare himself rejection/humiliation if you found out and didn't like him.

[Asker]

You really think he def like me?

He's super nice to me most times and teases me a lot to the point where I get mad at him (in a cute way).

Once I got so mad I texted him and he called me and I just said "go to sleep" and hung up. After that he called me consecutively for the next two days. I didn't pick up on the first day and on the second day I picked up and told him I was busy. After that I don't have any contact from him yet, it has been about 2 days. Was I being hard to get a bit too much?

[Asker]

I thought I hinted that I have some feelings for him to but maybe I should be more direct about it.

Yet, his emotions towards me are never clear cut because he teases me oh so much. For example, while chatting I accidentally sent him <3 and he was like "what is this" and I said "oops, wrong box" and he said "no hearts" and I said "it wasn't for you" and then he said "be quiet" and quickly changed the subject. If he does have feelings for me..shouldn't he have reacted differently in a situation?

[Godfatherman]

If he gets that mad at something like that, how will he react when someone really pisses him off? He could have just been having a bad day and snapped at her. Still no excuse but...

[Anonymous]

He obviously felt very uncomfortable with this question and possibly just has anger management issues too. I would say he just likes you as a friend.

[CasaNorba]

maybe he was fronting... you know trying to cover up the sun with his pinky