She told me she liked me and now acts distant?

[Luisjunior]

A couple of days ago I was chatting with a girl on fb that I met in person and have been talking to for a while. I decided to tell her that I really like her. Her response was "Awww :), well to be honest I like you too." Well the next day I called her and she didn't pick up then I texted her and she didn't reply. After a while she texted me saying "sorry, I haven't been ignoring you or anything, I have just been so stressed out because I am going through a lot." Well lately she has been distant and doesn't talk to me nearly as much as she used to before I told her that I like her.Did I do something wrong or do you think it's the stress that has her acting this way? It was immediately the next day after that she started acting like that. What should I do?

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

LISTEN TO ME

First of all, you met her in person, did you get a phone number or face book contact information? Generally, when you get a phone number, never ever look her up on Face book and chat with her on there ESPECIALLY, if she never gave you her Face book contact information. Even though she might be flattered that you investigated her social site memberships, deep down inside she will find that creepy, and even if she doesn't, her girl friends will tell her it is.

Second, if you got her number and face book info, for example, then contacting her FIRST on Face book would automatically regress you one step back. It's like asking a girl for her phone number then sending her letters in her email in box, NOT how you want to progress.

Thirdly, never ever tell a girl you LIKE her during the initial stages of courtship and dating. In my policy, if you haven't kissed her yet, it's probably NOT the right time to say that kind of thing.

Fourth, she said she likes you back...okay...I love chocolate, but I'd never marry a candy bar. Don't look too deep into that. In addition, telling you she's been going through a lot is flat out bull sh*t. If she really felt strongly for you, she's pick up your phone call and give you an explanation and she'd schedule a time where it works out best for her to talk to you. "Hey, I'm very busy with such and such, but I want to talk to you, maybe you can call me on Wednesday at this and this time because I'll be free then." Missing your phone call and text is enough to let you know what's going on. Texting her again and having her spell something out for you is rubbing salt in wounds. Who knows, maybe she is very busy, or maybe she is playing hard to get, but if that's the case and she really liked you, she's toss a flirty text somewhere in the middle or give you a signal of when to call next...while playing hard to get.

My advice is to do everything and anything to throw her off the track. She has to feel like she can't figure you out or know where you stand with her. Some examples of this is sending her a text saying "Hey I'm going to call you tonight at 8:30pm, I have something exciting to tell you ;-)" THEN, don't call her. Call her out for her flakiness say something like "Hey, I usually don't give people a second chance, but I'm giving you one last chance to prove to me you're special like I think you are" <--Not exactly the best example, but hopefully you get the jist. "Hey you didn't return my call, why do you have to break my heart? I subtract 800 brownie points from you :-)" Make sure you flirt and date women, especially women she knows, like her friends...Never let this chick figure you out, when she starts chasing you start putting her on an emotional roller coaster, kiss her neck and tell her she means the world, the next day tell her she is too great and you can't ruin a friendship, women like plucking flower pedals. They don't like it when you sweat em.

-Player turned Gag vigilante

[Luisjunior]

Ok, I know this girl and she is the kind that if I did that kind of thing she'll get pissed off. We are both Christians so we don't play these kinds of games of lying. Also, the stress stuff is true because she keeps posting stuff on fb about how she is having a hard time and stuff. I know for a fact that she hates when guys play games so I'm not doing that. I told her that I liked her that way because I wanted to make it clear to avoid the friend zone.

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

Ok great, that's fine...she at least said she isn't trying to ignore you...I'll give her that, but just lay low for a bit if you don't want to play any games and let her contact you when she's through her stress. Maybe she might even feel guilty about not returning you calls, and she will contact you her self, or you can send a friendly text that doesn't get in her way but just a courtesy text like.."hey, I know u've been stressed lately, if you need anything, I'm always here for you :-)"

[Wilsky]

Dude! You're the bomb mate. Somewhere along the line, I lost the plot, and become weak, nice and well, just not attractive to girls any more. Because everything you said not to, I was doing, and everything you said to do, I used to. Dude, you've made me smile so hard, ha ha ha. You know what I was doing when I read your message? Dwelling. Yup, dwelling over a girl I messed up with for doing everything you said not to. Want to know why it ended. You already know. Cheers Mate! ha ha ha.

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

holy crap, I saw wilsky and then at the top luisjunior and I was like.. wtf is going on? lol

[kidblue]

it could just be the stress but it does seem a little weird that she started actin like that right after you told her that...did she tell you she had a lot of things going on before, or don't you two talk about stuff like that that much?...what you might wanna do is make sure not to push her into talkin but like let her know if she needs to talk about whatever's going on then you got her

[Luisjunior]

She has mentioned things before but not much. On her Facebook page she has put statuses complaining about problems and stuff so it is true. What confuses me is that before I told her she was always flirting and talking to me everyday. It told her I liked and she said she likes me too. I thought we were on our way up and start dating but then this happens. She must be really stressed if she doesn't even feel like talking to the guy she likes.

[Brendi87]

What you have to understand is that some people when they are going through a rough time, they like to pull away and go hide in their corner, while others may get closer and open up their can of worms. I have friends that open up to me, and some that don't. I can't control it, but I can control my reaction.

I'm the type of girl who will confide in you if 1) You let me in by saying you can call, text, e-mail, I'm here for you 2) I feel I can trust you with the sensitive topic 3) I'm not worried you'll run away.

I think it's too soon for her to open up like that, and maybe in the past she has, and the guy didn't appreciate it like didn't listen, made her feel bad for opening up, told her to stop complaining. So, she decides to close up. In other words, she has baggage. Maybe a little too much.

I've had something similar happen to me, in which there was a guy I felt I had a connection with and thought he felt something, too. I haven't heard from him in about 2 weeks, and he hadn't replied to my question in the last text so I was like OK. It crossed my mind to reach out to him just to say hi, but I didn't want to.

I went through a break-up months ago where my ex rejected me in and out of the relationship, my 2 guy "friends" then ignored me. I ended up talking to various new guys, who only lied so you can say I've had enough and I have my guard up. There's only so much rejection you can take in a week! So it's hard to put myself out there without feeling like what's the point? Maybe that's how she's feeling.

But I also thank them 'cause they helped me get over my ex and gave me more time to focus in school, work, friends, family, and things are good. People come and go, but don't miss out on what you learned from them, either good or bad.

Don't worry about the girl. If she comes around, she comes around, but who's to say it might be too late 'cause you've found another girl who can appreciate you? That's too bad for her then. You can't and shouldn't put your life on hold for her 'cause remember, she won't!

[HidingMyHeart]

I recommendjust leaving things alone for a while, but let her know that you're there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on and wait until she comes to you, which I'm sure she will, otherwise you might unintentionally push her away...I know this is hard, I've been through it before, but it's the best thing to do right now..GL

[iceskatingsweetie]

I had the same thing happen to me but other way around a guy told me he really liked me and then changed his mind because I was "too nice" Its hard, I know how you feel

[AJR998]

Shes with the bullsh*t, who doesn't have a lot of stress. If she was so stressed out she wasn't going to awnser her phone, why didn't she just turn it off. If she wants to talk to you she has your info, send her to the back of the line. Find a girl worth your time.

[theydidntnameme]

dont be nosy but, let her know that if she needs someone to talk to, she can talk to you about it. it just sounds like she's having a lot of problems now.