Who Do You Think Mistakes Friendliness For Flirting More: Men Or Women?

Question

crazyish · Accepted Answer

That's hard to tell. I'm friendly and have a flirty personality with everyone, women included. I never assume a guy is into me unless he straight out tells me. Even if a guy makes sexual jokes or sexual innuendos. Or if he compliments me on my physical appearance and personality. Because I do those things as well and I'll be upfront if I'm into someone in any way. I don't know how other women are but I do the same with other women as well. If I say you're beautiful, sexy, hot etc. to either a female or male, all I'm doing is complimenting you with the truth and nothing more. If I was into anyone, trust me you wouldn't ever be unsure. I believe that it doesn't matter what gender you are because both can take it as someone coming onto them. I have male friends and female friends so I don't ever sensor myself for either gender. I don't like feeling as if I have to be careful about how other's will perceive how I just naturally am.

I believe people have problems seeing the opposite gender as friends so anything that is said is filtered through that "opposite gender is only for sex and relationships" perspective. So obviously if you're femal being called beautiful or sexy by a male will automatically make you think they want you and vice versa. It's also why a lot of females and males refrain from saying certain things to the opposite gender due to the possibility it will be seen as more than what it really is.

If you stop and think about how you're nice and friendly and joke around with anyone of the same gender... they don't assume or wonder if you're into them. It's seriously sad that the genders only believe the opposite gender is only for one thing... sex or a relationship. 😕

My opinion is that people would stop feeling so hurt, confused and led on if they would just come out and ask for clarification purposes. And then the ones answering should be honest and realize that due to society and social cues they have a reason for asking.

Flirting is harmless, people benefit from it. It's fun, and makes you feel good. It's reassurances that I honestly believe people need especially when they are in a relationship. Basing you're worth physically or otherwise on one person can have detrimental consequences to your self esteem considering how compliments and reassurances tend to decline in relationships. Why is it so wrong to just give out honest compliments? It's sad that society is more ok with shaming others then building others up in a healthy way.

Society has made it difficult for people to be genuinely nice and understanding. It makes everyone have personal assumptions that aren't true. I just believe we should all stop assuming how someone acts towards you in a nice friendly even flirty way that it's nothing more than natural human interaction. If you're unsure ask and if it is more than be upfront about it.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

It is always the men with this which is why I am very cautious and isn't as friendly towards a lot of them because 9/10x they assume this because that is what they already want. Then when you don't feel the same way, they get mad at you. The worse ones get emotionally abusive. This same self-centered attitude affects the friendships with females they already have, and it's why so many female friends now reject such guys and this is how the so-called "friendzone" started. Women may overthink or wonder, but rarely would we assume a man is flirting unless it is very obvious and he pretends that he is not. The only way this happens if possible is unless the person possesses that charm and is unaware of what their behavior is like. I didn't realize certain behaviors though it was never flirting or sexualize at all makes most men think something is wrong with you.

Simple things like playful banter <-- which again is not flirting, teasing in a friendly way, hugging, etc sadly is mostly reserved for couples. Pretty much everything is now. What used to be normal between friends is now even more restrictive unless boundaries are needed for certain reasons. I believe many people come into relationships with people due to false pretenses. They know they attracted to the person sexually and don't say anything which is a problem. Again, it has 0 to do with the attraction being a problem, but how and what people choose to do with it which, tends to be selfish in nature. If people were more honest, there wouldn't be this much confusion.

I now realize almost 30 that any guy who mistakes friendliness for flirting has obviously been around and only choose to pursue such women and now can't tell the difference between a normal one or one who is sexually interested which is completely different from romance, besides girls not being taught what is acceptable and not while conversing with a male unless he himself also set's boundaries. I learn to change my habits and adjust when needed depending on how close I am to a person. If they are complete strangers I am civil and less emotionally driven. Barely smile and little to no eye contact unless needed, keep poster as neutral as possible. And unless they desire further communication and proven to be friendly, then that is a big maybe unless I sense something from them.

Other than that, it's sadly, always the men. And it's sad because you try to explain to them, and some who are already toxic act out which freaks women out.

Aguysopinion4799 · Accepted Answer

Hmmm...

Guys being nice to girls with just the intent of friendliness does often result in misunderstandings and often requires clarifying that the guy is not hitting on her but just being kind..

Girls being kind to guys is a big situation that causes confusion as well, but more so in that guys don't feel comfortable confronting the same question to the girl so it basically becomes a self questioning thing until the guy develops a crush and finds out she was just being friendly, pretty brutal...

It is definitely something present in both genders, I would just say that girls openly address it while guys are more likely to keep the question to themselves out of awkwardness, while a girl is more likely to assume a friendly guy is flirting and will promptly say out loud her opinion of it.

So... who does it more? Well... based on the contact girls and guys have and the way they react in these situations differently, I would say that it is likely girls, purely because you can make a easy observation daily at a vocal display from a girl on this, whereas a guy does not bring it up vocally as much and even the ones in situations of a girl being kind to them have not always made a big fuss over it, after you talk with enough girls you learn that you are not getting some amazing approach from this one person but just socialising, after that it becomes normal for you.

So guys who mistake friendliness as flirting are likely guys who don't talk to many girls, they have no idea how a normal conversation between a female friend and male friend would be so they can't figure out what a flirting situation is.

I guess this might be the same for girls too, girls who either get flirted on a lot or don't talk with guys much, will result in the same outcome of not being able to read when something is kindness and when something is flirting.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

This is hard to answer considering men and women are complete opposite when it comes to flirting or just being friendly , Why it’s best to have an opposite sex friend to be your advice coach lol I can be friendly to a girl just making small talk and she might take it as I am flirting with her when really I was just being nice , my buddies wife will tell me she likes you and I am like what? No way , I was just having small talk with her and she be like no she wants you , watch how she does this and does that when she comes near you , I would be sitting their dumbfounded lol But then realize she was right all along , The same thing happens to girls with guys , A girl should take advice from a guy friend if she likes a guy , we are pretty
Much spot on when it comes to other guys we know if he just wants to have sex with her or if he is going to be a good guy to her or not even waste her time cuz he isn’t interested for the most part , The only other way to know if someone is into you is reading their body language or if they make eye contact with you with a smile then I don’t need an advice coach lol But most the time I do

coachTanthony · Answer

I don't have a concrete answer... all I can say is... when someone flirts with you please cooperate LOL

Anonymous · Answer

For acquaintances and people who know each other. Guys misinterpreted friendliness for flirting. For people they recently met, girls do. Guys who are clearly people persons enjoying themselves and talking to the people around them, with everyone else being excited talking to the guy, will still get the boyfriend and husband card thrown in their face by 1/3 to 1/4 of girls. It’s usually a bitchy looking one. Everyone else is clearly seeing he’s not hitting on anyone.

Most girls assume any guy who talks to them is hitting on them. Most guys think the girl is being friendly or just being a typical girl if she talks to everyone around her.

But it changes when they actually know each other. The same percentage of guys mistake general politeness for friendship, and friendship for flirting.

So many guys think they’re friends with a lot of girls, but really they see him as that guy who talks to her a lot. She was just being nice and holding the convo with him.

Whats friendly and flirting can be different from girl to girl. One girls signs of being friendly is another’s signs of being flirty. It can be confusing. Even girls would contradict each other on what’s friendly and flirting.

Now who mistakes wanting sex with love or crushes more? That would be girls. Usually girls interpret a guy wanting to sleep with them for actually liking them. Guys, it’s not the other way around.

caring__1 · Answer

This has nothing to do with a person's plumbing. When people feel totally fulfilled in their relationship, they will see flirting as friendliness. When they feel unfulfilled in their relationship, they will see friendliness as flirting.

If we're happy, we see no reason to look elsewhere, so we tend to be oblivious of much that goes on around us. We're not necessarily looking elsewhere when we aren't happy; we just notice signs of things that are missing in our relationship. It's like a magnetic attraction; we'll feel drawn to something subconsciously. Haven't you ever heard it isn't a good idea to go shopping when you're hungry? If you do, you'll overbuy things you wouldn't have bought had you not been hungry.

Novacane · Answer

Wow great questions! I've actually seen both many times, but in conclusions, I would men are more than likely to confuse being friendly with flirting more than women, women are more naturally friendly therefore are more likely to start a casual conversation. A man is more likely to start a conversation if there is an intention or a goal which is usually to get to know the girl. But one thing that I have noticed is that when there is an established friendship the women are more likely to confuse friendliness with flirting. Well from my experience I've had women I am cool with confusing my friendliness with flirting, that it got to the point that I don't say certain things to girls because I don't want them to assume that I am trying to flirt with them, and I don't eve like flirting.

NathanDavis · Answer

I voted men just because I saw a lot more men trying to flirt with women, and then, holding onto any response as a flirt back... lol. And I've seen less women approaching men with flirty intentions and stuff like that.

However, there's been too many situations in which me just being curious and interested, and actually listening, just paying attention... to what girls said, well that lead a few too many to believe that I was just interested on them, or being flirtatious or even leading them on, playing with them... when I was just being attentive.

Apparently, saying something "clever" or making them laugh was being a flirt, or looking for something else, But this just how I would be sometimes at certain settings, and I would do it with many (engaging), not just women.

Citizenkirk · Answer

Yes, and yes. There is a science to flirting, that most people who attempt it don't have a good understanding of, iether intellectually or intuitively.
The same goes for those who observe flirting, or what they believed to be flirting, and try to interpret its meaning correctly, using insufficient information and life experience, or through the wrong perspective filter.
I think the Star Trek franchise inadvertently got the whole dating philosophy correct, by unintentionally, or perhaps intentionally, using Vulcans as a good social dating model.
"I find your physical features aesthetically pleasing in a non-emotionally turmoil kind of way. If you perceive me the same way, I think it's only logical that we experience some time in each other's company, to see if such a pairing would make sense in the long term mating scenario dynamic. Do you agree or disagree with the basic premise of this proposal?"🖖

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I would say men more so get the intentions confused. Unless the man is used to dating or is very good with women, he won't be able to pick up on the signs as well.

A lot of flirting signals from women are easily mistaken or overlap with other behavior that is indicative of flirting which can be an honest mistake.

I haven't had a great track record with women and am currently in a relationship, but I have enough experience to tell the key difference. If the woman reaches out to you and takes initiative via call or text, she wants the man to invite her on a date. Everything else is just friendly. I always take these signals from women with a large grain of salt.

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

It's a fine line that gets crossed all the time. Both men and women do it and some, purposely. Those that claim to not be a flirt, but a person that just "jokes a lot". It's all very easy to be misconstrued, which is why people just need to be clear about their intentions.

JSmuve · Answer

Men, for sure. So often you hear women say that men don't pick up on their hints or that women are subtle that it's gotten to the point where guys turn up their radars to super sensitive and start looking for all of the subtleties that might be hints of potential flirting. The end result is a whole bunch of false positives and "I was just being friendly". It also doesn't help that the majority of guys don't get much/any attention from girls and the attention they do get isn't always positive, so guys become starved for positive attention from girls and mistake acts of decency as flirting since it rarely happens to him.

MCheetah · Answer

Men definitely mistake friendliness for dating more, because men tend to be direct and upfront in how they feel, most of the time, where as women are usually extremely subtly and often confusing (to men) in what they want.

And is that first pic Kate Spring, the dating coach? Kinda surprised to see Kate Spring on this site, of all things.

Unit1 · Answer

Men. 100%
Since we are starved from female attention and not being messaged or approached by women a lot. Any friendliness from women we interpret as romantic interest or flirts. It is the equivalent of finding an oasis in the deserts.

Who Do You Think Mistakes Friendliness For Flirting More: Men Or Women?

AzzaBlue · Answer

From my experience women. Whenever I am having a friendly conversation with a woman, they always out of the blue mention their boyfriend. Eg: "Oh yeah, my boyfriend likes that to." I hardly ever flirt with women, but I am getting the feeling that these women were mistaking my being nice with being flirty.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

It's hard to figure people out I think Men mistake friendliness for flirting
cause many times a girl or woman would be really friendly with me and
It didn't take much for me to fall for them oh yes it happens I'm easy to
get attached it doesn't take much LMAO

The_Maphio · Answer

The mistake is honest and done by both parties, the key is in HOW they are mistaken.
- girls always believe that anything with a penis only makes contact with them to fuck them.
- boys start off with no expectations, but builds castles in the air everytime she bats her eyelashes in their general direction.

Massageman · Answer

Ok. This might be an exercise in "sexual semantics" but here goes - -- - -
in my opinion women mistake friendliness for flirting more than men.
in my opinion men mistake flirting for a "meet-up/encounter" more than women.
in my opinion both men and women mistake all of the above for a serious "relationship".

RJJ33666 · Answer

I am kinda thinking men, because they can't really differentiate between a woman being friendly and them being flirtatious. They tend to overthink it and then come to the conclusion that they are flirting. But most of them don't act upon this thought, so I guess its cool

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

It's like a young adolescent an someone older does something & they misconstrue what their intentions are. Same as we get older is this person flirting or just be friendly but we can tell to a degree just my opinion ✌️

Synikal · Answer

Honestly I've been in those situations where I misinterpret someone's friendliness for flirting a couple times and ended with the "doh" expression after when I was a teen. I've even been in a situation where I've been friendly or kind and had women mistake it for me making a move or flirting. I smile a lot so in some situations I get it but other times opening a door or lending a jacket should not be considered as flirting. Just how I was raised.

rjroy3 · Answer

Difficult to say.

I think equal but different. Guys are more likely to take it as flirting then go on to take action.

Girls are more likely to take the attention as him liking her and expecting it to go somewhere, tho in most cases women don't take the lead. But in the end both men and women make the same mistake.

Just manifests differently.

bulletbob555 · Answer

I'm sure we all do especially if we like the person. I feel that men often miss that a woman is flirting. There are female flirts that all women understand but men are clueless we just think they are being friendly. Often men will be told that that girl was flirting whith you only to say she was just being talkative

arlesche · Answer

I would definitely say men, women that aren't interested in men aren't typically nice to them, so when a girl is nice to a guy, he can easily percieve it as flirting.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Oh definitely men. I've seen SOOO many guys mistake basic politeness for flirting

Ellie-V · Answer

It’s a common thing amongst both genders pretty evenly in my opinion. But I think men are more likely to act on that misunderstanding than women are especially when women who pick up on these things easier are more likely to take advantage of the situation without saying anything. I believe ladies will conceal their feelings in fear of being wrong or rejected but on the other hand will sense the reverse and play to their advantage.

RingOfFire · Answer

Studies show that men overestimate the amount of interest women have in them more than women.

Jjpayne · Answer

That's a toughie! I think we both do. Especially when we are desperate 😅
We like to imagine that things are better than the signals they put off. But to be fair, we do get signals confused quite a bit too 😅

spartan55 · Answer

I'd say it's pretty equal. Both seem to turn it into an attention grab a lot.

exitseven · Answer

I think there is enough blame to go around. I have had girls think I was flirting when all I did was compliment them on a new hairstyle or something.

FatherJack · Answer

Men by far , @unit1 gives a good summary of primarily why. I am neither friendly or flirty towards strangers , polite , but neutral. Also the UK is not exactly the " land of smiles " either , esp Greater London & SE England

Anonymous · Answer

Most men for sure, sometimes when I talk to a guy even when I'm just being nice or he's the one who approaches me he always thinks I'm "hitting" on him even though I'm just trying to have a normal conversation.

IndyZee · Answer

Definitely men mistaken friendliness to flirting. Unfortunately for women, they have to watch how they say what they say or be accused of being a tease or a bitch.

John_Doesnt · Answer

Men definitely mistake friendliness for dating more, because men tend to be direct and upfront in how they feel, most of the time, where as women are usually extremely subtly and often confusing (to men) in what they want.

And is that first pic Kate Spring, the dating coach? Kinda surprised to see Kate Spring on this site, of all things.

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ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Hmm another flirting question, for me it depends who I’m flirting with and why. if I’m actually after someone, there is no misunderstanding. in general it’s a 50/50 I think.

Anonymous · Answer

Most likely men. But also me 😂😂😂 I'm super oblivious.

Leavesbound · Answer

Men do this far more often. Most guys are convinced a girl has a crush on them if the girl merely smiles at them.

krin_m · Answer

Not sure! I like flirty women but unless there is a clear sign to move things to the next level, I just assume that they are friendly and enjoy the banter! I expect that they will do the same! :-)

KatherineJ · Answer

I think most women question his intentions enough to think “he’s probably just being friendly”. I think a lot of men just assume that if a woman is friendly that she’s into him.

live_life_out_loud · Answer

I always go with assumption that a women is just being friendly

Mark987 · Answer

I would say women more... as they are more emotional to men.. but it does go both ways..

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Oh, most definitely men! Just look what happens here, as soon as you show the slightest bit of friendship to guys, the sexting requests come. I’m glad the guys who are my established friends, here now know the difference.

Gopackers02 · Answer

Yeah ummm definitely 100% men. Just yesterday a girl I work with came up close to me and said she told the boss that she put her 2 weeks in. I was thinking she totally likes me. 😂 even tho she’s got a kid and i think is in a stable relationship. But I think so many people like me everyday just by being friendly

PinkHamster · Answer

Guys! I always be friendly with them and they get the wrong idea thinking that i am interested and flirting 💕✨

friendzoned4life · Answer

Men I Personally never get a nice gesture from woman at all so when I talk to one and she is positive or gives me a compliment i think she flirts with me I actually Just can't tell the difference

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

Men you smile at them and they think you'd wanna get fucked by them

Hypnos0929 · Answer

Men because there are a fuck ton of women who think "being nice" includes anything they want no matter how inappropriate it is. I've straight up had women with boyfriends say they want to cuddle with me and others sit on my lap.
To a guy interest is interest, for women they play the Schrodinger card

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Men, probably.  But I often suspect that women purposefully mix friendliness with flirting

fonduegirl · Answer

I disagree. I can usually tell which is which. Problem is, I'm unfriendly either way.

JohnArkansas · Answer

Easily women, whenever I have to talk to a woman I put on my most boring face and voice to do so. I also look at my phone as much as possible, almost to look like I'd rather not be talking to them.

Anonymous · Answer

a reddit forum asked people the downside of being hot. Women said men they like as friends get angry with them as they mistake kindness for flirting. They get angry and say why did you flirt with me.

Grond21 · Answer

Men, definitely. Because women flirt often when they don't mean it

Anonymous · Answer

Definitely women. They think any kind of friendly interaction has a motive to f* them behind it.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Its hard to say but I would lean towards men more simply because men never get treated nice unless their is a reason for it generally speaking.

LivelyReport · Answer

I feel friendliness has a fine line when it comes to act growing an attachment to someone however I do feel most time women can insinuate something to get us to do something and there's nothing wrong more power with that though on the contrary if the guy you maybe just met is a creep read that like a book and shut up shop

DevanRowland · Answer

I think that it can completley depend, because a lot of guys will just google it and girls will gossip about it before thay do it.

Voulezvous · Answer

Definitely men! All the male friends I've had thought that i was into them because i was friendly and nice towards them, which wasn’t the case.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

From what i have seen! Men.

Jeep_lover · Answer

Yea I know, no matter how nice I can be. People always think I'm flirting.

ToastyOats · Answer

Women don't need to be flirted with. Ask em' out, yes or no. Women are so spoiled with all this flirting. Dont deserve it, hardly ever reciprocate. Nope.

mistixs · Answer

Studies indicate that it's men

loves2learn · Answer

Depends on the person I think.

magiusX26 · Answer

men because of both wonen being less straight forward, instead preffering to be subtle and hint, while men are more straight forward and opt for little to no subtlety.

Who Do You Think Mistakes Friendliness For Flirting More: Men Or Women?

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Who mistakes friendly as flirty more: girls or guys?

Who Do You Think Mistakes Friendliness For Flirting More: Men Or Women?

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Who mistakes friendly as flirty more: girls or guys?

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