Asking a guy out?

[Kain6th]

Girls, would you ever ask a guy out instead of having him ask you? I've always wondered about that. I know girls like that are out there, but why are they so few? Do you think this will change in the future where its a little more even that guys and girls ask each other out equally?

Updates

+1 y

I find it a little curious that the girls under 18 are more willing than the older ones. Could it be a generation thing? Or is it merely a phase that will change when they get older?

[mizbeckyz0818]

I'm definitely over 18 and I have to say that I have asked guys out and got mixed results. I asked someone younger than me and while he took it better than I expected, his response was to treat me like one of the guys. I knew he was flattered but his way of telling me that he agreed to go out with me was to give me a thumbs up sign. Although I was not used to asking guys out, I did it because I knew the guy was shy and I would be waiting forever for him to ask me out. We haven't gone out yet since I just asked him, but we have seen each other since and he hasn't been treating me weird or avoiding me. If anything, he has been less shy and has been talking to me more since he knows that I like him. I do feel that if I had asked someone older than me to go out with me, it might not have been taken well because guys are just used to having the (dare I say) burden of being the one to do the asking. For me, it seemed to have been a kind of ice breaker to what we were already feeling but were too afraid to discuss. Now he knows that I know he likes me and also knows that I like him in return. He hasn't stopped looking at me when he thinks I'm not looking and still comes around to flirt with me. Lucky me.

[cheerangelcharity]

well I've never asked a guy out on a real date but when I'm interested in a guy I usually suggest that we "hang out." Girls usually don't do the asking out both because of fear of rejection and/or they don't want to be seen as going after the guy. I'm even thinking about not doing the asking for a "hang out" anymore because whenever I do - even with a guy who seems interested - the guy seems to lose interest. This is because guys usually like doing the pursuing and, thus, girls are afraid of taking that away from them. If most guys change in the future [still be interested in a girl even after she pressure him to hang out with her] then it's very possible that most girls will change in the future [asking a guy out.or at least to hang out with her.]

[treehugger2009]

That always happens to me. they suddenly lose interest once I ask them to hang out. it even happens with guys I just want to hang out with because they seem like fun people. but for some reason guys always take it the wrong way.

[MrNameless]

Fear of rejection? Well know you know how it feels to be a dude..Who is ALWAYS expected from society to make the first moves and asking out.

[ALWAYSclassy]

Nope not me! I don't do that! I feel that if a guy is interested in you he will ask you out himself when he gets ready. If I have to do it, then maybe he wasn't that into me in the first place?

[MrNameless]

No you're just being an coward.. And have that entitled mindset that you should wait for guys to swarm around and ask you out.

There is NOTHING wrong with girls asking out guys.. Please think in our shoes for once..

[ALWAYSclassy]

Think in your shoes for what? Men have been asking women out for years and they still do it in the real world. Why is it that only on girlsaskguys are there a bunch of guys whining about how hard it is to ask girls out? every other guy does it stop making excuses for your pansyness.

[frustratedchump06]

seriously I hate how people say it is part of being a man, making the first move, going after what you want is a masculine trait, it is very frustrating

[shadowcat517]

I have asked out guys before, with mixed results. I think it should change, because girls are viewed as slutty if they do the asking, and a lot of girls are afraid of getting rejected. However, I'm pretty sure a lot of guys have the same fear, and it's not fair to think that they have to do all the asking. I've heard girls say, "Why should I say anything? I should just wait for him to ask me out," and it bugs me that so many people think that.

[ski-stud-mike]

I COMPLETELY agree with everything this girl said.

[skegz]

YES!!! I totally second that motion :P hehe ^^^^^^

[Virtuales]

I completly agree

[MrNameless]

Since when does guys who see the girls ask them out, view them as slutty?? What kind of B.S. is this..

[shadowcat517]

They aren't viewed as slutty by guys, but they are by other girls. I've even heard my friends say that looks desperate and whorish.

[Kain6th]

Well those are your friends' opinions not yours. I take it, with you being 17 and probably in high school still, that you think reputation matters a lot to you. Well it doesn't really, but having your own sense of purpose and personality does. So if I were you I would just follow my own path regardless of what my friends think.

[shadowcat517]

Okay, when did I say that it mattered to me? I said it mattered to other girls. I love how people are lecturing me, when I actually DO ask out guys I like. I don't really care what most other people think about me. The point I was making is that it's a stupid double-standard. As you can tell from some of the other posts, obviously some girls have a problem with it.

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/Relationships-Questions/59433-whats-wrong-with-girls-asking-out-guys.html

[Kain6th]

Ok calm down, obviously I misunderstood your comment. No need for angry responses.

[bellybuttonlint]

Beautiful response.

[Anonymous4Ever]

Girl viewed as slutty for asking a guy out... ?!? *scratches head* I guess that one debilitating excuse you can use to hide from life...

[gonaners16]

Hell yes I would! I am confident and strong enough to do it. It doesn't make me a slut because I can do something that some people can't. At least if I ask, I will find out if he really likes me or not. Don't make us wait forever, because it's annoying and we lose interest. Either grow the balls and ask, or I might find someone else.

[Anonymous4Ever]

=)

[pretty-face4life-]

I am a girl, and I think it is proper for a guy to ask a girl out himself. If the guy waits for a girl to ask him, then he doesn't care who he gets. If the guy asks the girl out himself, it shows that he cares enough about just that ONE special girl, to ask her. Other girls that won't ask the guy probably feel the same way. Girls that ask the guy out are either desperate, slutty, OR they really really like a guy, and can't wait any longer for him to ask. - But with that guys, I wouldn't wait around for that girl. If you think a girl is special and awesome, ask her out! :D

[Kain6th]

See this is kinda what I'm getting at. How is a girl asking a guy out any more desperate than a guy asking out a girl? And couldn't it be the guy who feels special because he got asked out?

It just seems like there should be more double standards. More liberalism, and less conservatism perhaps.

[gonaners16]

No, we just take control of the situation. don't call me a slut because I am confident enough to risk rejection and ask.

[moviedude714]

Why do you think a guy will not care who he gets if a girl asks him out?

[MrNameless]

This is probably the most stupidest and selfish reply I've heard. Do you REALLY feel that entitled for guys to just come swarming over you and ask you out?

And I've NEVER head of girls who ask guys out as being "slutty." You don't know what you're talking about.. A lot of guys would absolutely love girls asking them out.

[kim1230]

ugh, Why can't it be equal or something? I've asked guys out also with mixed results. I was always put in the "friend" zone. So idk. it'd be nice if a guy asked me out. guys shouldn't just stop asking girls out all together because then that's just being lazy and weak. I like the old days when guys actually took initiative and fought for what they wanted. Aren't boys supposed to be stronger than girls and have the balls enough to accept rejection? why does everything have to be put on us now? first child birth, now this! what do they do now really? they have no struggles. some of them aren't even the providers for their home! everything is put on women. We are truly the stronger gender :)

[javelin]

"what do they do now really?/they have no struggles"

Erm, men BUILD houses, schools, bridges, cities, roads, offices, collect your trash, serve in the army, serve as doctors/ nurses, are exploited in mines digging for diamonds for womens' fingers, men design computers, men build transport/infrastructure, men do low paid crap, menial jobs, men have been the tax base for decades so to provide for the world and welfare services around you. Mens 'struggles' are women like you who fail to see this

[Kickrockslosers]

I think a lot of girls think it's a guys sole responsibility to ask them out that's why there are so few. I ask guys out sometimes especially if there is flirting involved. Most guys don't ask me out because they see me as unapproachable. Maybe more girls will ask guys out in the future, but I don't see the masses of women running to ask out a guy, LOL

[butterflybites]

I couldn't do it. If I had to ask a guy out I could never be attracted to him. And they are some guys who wouldn't feel comfortable with a girls asking them out. So those are the guys I've always tried to focus on. I'll give hints but there's no way I'm making the first move.

[neon12300]

Personally I wouldn't. I'm a confident person but yet I am more afraid than guys are when it comes to rejection! And I also like it when the guy does the asking, it shows they can be a man and they can handle the outcome. Girls get nervous too, but girls are generally nicer and most likely not to reject you!

[Anonymous4Ever]

Having the courage and grace to do the asking sometimes also makes you look like a strong woman, that knows what she wants in life. Everyone who does the asking, has to overcome that fear, and has to face the possibility of rejection. Guys go through it everyday, to the point it just beats some of them up. Some guys easily get accepted, but a lot of guys get continuously rejected and it really kills their self esteem.

[Britt_westfall]

i know I would

i aint' shy.

u never no if he's waitin on You to ask him

[cheerangelcharity]

about your update: I believe it's a generation thing...maybe especially because young guys for one reason or another don't ask girls out as often...

[cheerangelcharity]

Um no thank you, how about not.

[cheerangelcharity]

Crap the comment before mine got removed so no one knows what I mean...oh well.

[sassysenorita]

i would love to be the one doing the asking but unfortunately guy love chasing so I have to play hard to get.

[gonaners16]

Umm I have heard that it annoys the hell out of them.

[sassysenorita]

I have had countless guys tell me that they would choose a girl that plays hard to get over a girll that it straightforward. I was turned down because I did ask the guy and he told me I was aggesive for not waiting for him to ask me first.

[freeman8]

I hate it when girls play hard to get. Usually I give up and go find a girl that's less annoying.

[MrNameless]

Playing hard to get in the beginning is fine.. But after initial contact.. It's frustrating and makes guys think you don't even like them back, or thinking you're leading them on.

[Anonymous4Ever]

Love the avatar... Fits you perfectly. A chicken that has a hard time seeing things correctly. =P

[treehugger2009]

I would definitely ask out a guy (if I had the guts that is).I mean, I've attempted, but then I chicken out. But I think guys chicken out too. So, someone has to ask the other out, or nothing will ever happen.

[skegz]

Completely agree..

[Anonymous]

personally I don't think I would, I get extremly nervous when I'm around that "certain person" plus I think it is proper for the guy to ask the girl rather than the other way around :)

[Anonymous4Ever]

hahaha... You might miss your change. You never know. =)

[moviedude714]

Why is it usually up to the guy? C'mon, if a girl asks a guy out, the guy will take the girl seriously too.

[katyylee]

cant say that I would

[BrazilianBonBon89]

no. I would never.

[Anonymous]

I have asked and everything turned out well.

[Anonymous]

I would, but I don't really want a relationship.