When A Man Hurts The Woman He Loves.

[Anonymous]

Hi there, would really appreciate it if anyone out there would answer this.

When a guy hurts the girl he loves, unintentionally...

And the girl although still loves him, wants a break up..

What sort of life could he be living now?

Whenever she is around, he seems happy, positive and strong front.. But when she is not around, her friends noticed him sad and dejected...

What could this mean and what is that man thinking?

Do he misses her at all?

[neutrals]

I think he's making you believe that he's fine without you. It's a sort of way to make the girl think 'doesn't he care?' and the girl would either not give a damn about it or contemplate on that question. It can make the girl feel more upset thinking that the guy didn't care and when she can't take it anymore, she may go to the guy and discuss about their failed relationship and they may try to give it another try...or...

maybe he just doesn't want you to see him sad. He's still hoping ud forgive and give him another chance but is putting up a barrier to sheild the pain. Its easier to pretend you're happy in front of someone when you're actually sad and mope around later than to admit the person doesn't care anymore because she is not approaching you even if she saw how lonely you were. It's like stabbing you in the chest, but of course the first one's not really a good choice either.

[Asker]

Thankyou babe! :)

But the reason why we broke up was becos he told me he could not forget the face of his 1st love. He told me to give him time becos he still loves me & its an issue he wants to let go. But I left.. And he told me he hates himself for hurting me & told me to forget him.. Its been months, and whenever we see each other, our eyes tell of something.. & my friends told me he would look at me w sad & troubled eyes. why?..

[neutrals]

Maybe he thinks he's not good enough for you and you're better off with someone else who didn't have the same issue as his. But he also may still have strong feelings for you but is unsure if you also still feel the same way because its been months as you said. The sad and troubled eyes thing, he may regret not fixing his issue before commiting to you because he thinks you really were great and tried your best but he only wasted your time...

[neutrals]

and he may be wondering how you are now, what you think of him or if his actions somehow affected you negatively...

[Asker]

Thankyou for your comments.. Really appreciate it a lot <3 I only wished we could talk like before.. bcos now.. all we do is exchange sad and awkward looks..

[neutrals]

maybe you could make the first move and ask him how he's doing. It's been months after all and he wouldn't really know what you feel or what's going on in your mind. It would also/might give him an idea that you don't harbor a lot of the hurt feelings anymore and would try to make even small talks with u, just to catch up on things because he sees that you're open to talking to him now :) but the sad awkward looks would make him hesitant because he'd think your uncomfortable and don't want to see him around..

[Asker]

thankyou once again.. His birthday is coming up, I will try to ask how is he doing :)

[Tdieseler]

I don't know why you are asking a question you seem to know the answer to. You miss him as well if you are saying this. And if you say it has been months now and he's still like that, don't you think you have punished the poor male enough? Guys have their limits too you know. Its just higher than girls. go back to him, before he decides to do a hostile take over of his feelings and begin to forget/hate you.

[Asker]

He himself told me he still love his 1st love and also loves me as well.. That's the reason why we left each other. It was so hurting for me, even till now. And now after so many months, he is showing signs of machoness when I'm around, and sadness when I'm not around.. Tell me, what is he thinking?

[Tdieseler]

He is thinking he shouldn't be punished because of something that came natural. I can't forget the face of my first love but if my current girl should leave me because of such a mediocre reason, I'd find it amusing. Now if he STILL communicates with her in certain ways, that's a whole different story. He's gonna act macho around you for reasons known to him only but you also said that you can tell he's sad. meaning now he thinks of you...not the other female.

[Asker]

I left him because I was too hurt and he himself told me to find a better guy who will make me smile, not cry. He told me he is messed up with this issue himself.. and he can't seem to make me smile. He even told me to forget him and treat him like a bastard. I left this guy painfully, the guy I loved wholehartedly. I wanted so much to remain a sweet girlfriend for him long time..

[Tdieseler]

ima say this ONCE. Go back to him. Ur obviously torturing him...and your torturing yourself as well holding on to hurt for so many months. You asked a question..."Go back to him" is your answer. maybe the reason you are still hurt is because he's not there to ease it for you. Rattle that one around for a bit.

[Asker]

Im so curious abt you.. What makes you so confident he wants me back? I swear I let down my pride and asked him before, and he says JUST TREAT HIM AS DEAD and forget him. And now, all this sad eyes, sad expression lookin back at me.. I'm so confused </3

[Tdieseler]

either you overdid the punishment or that is one HELL of an insecure guy. in that case you have 2 ways to go, you can either obey his wish and truly forget him. or you do what I suggested before. (you may have to boost his self-esteem first though...sheesh)

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice, appreciate it.

[Tdieseler]

Feel free to vote it.

[BCRanger10]

Something I've heard a lot of my friends say in times like this is "the best revenge is to live well". When you are around, he's trying to do that. He's trying to show you "sure, you broke up with me, but I'm doing just fine".

[Dharndy]

He is obviously missing you and he is obviously sad about it, I mean I would be.. if he hurt you unintentionally then give the guy another chance!

[Asker]

But the reason why we broke up was becos he told me he could not forget the face of his 1st love. He told me to give him time becos he still loves me & its an issue he wants to let go. But I left.. And he told me he hates himself for hurting me & told me to forget him.. Its been months, and whenever we see each other, our eyes tell of something.. & my friends told me he would look at me w sad & troubled eyes. why?..