Why do people hurt the one's they love the most?

Question

BobbieBoy666 · Accepted Answer

People hurt those they love for a variety of reasons, often stemming from complex emotional dynamics, communication breakdowns, or underlying insecurities. These actions can be unintentional or a result of deeper issues that impact relationships.
Reasons for Hurt:
Emotional Issues:
Unresolved past traumas, anger, jealousy, or insecurity can manifest as hurtful behavior towards loved ones.
Communication Problems:
Misunderstandings, lack of empathy, or difficulty expressing emotions can lead to hurtful words or actions.
Fear of Intimacy:
A fear of vulnerability or dependence can cause individuals to push loved ones away, even unintentionally.
Stress and External Pressures:
Life's challenges can strain relationships and make it harder to manage emotions, leading to hurtful behavior.
Protecting Oneself:
In some cases, individuals may lash out to protect themselves from perceived threats or rejection.
Seeking Control:
Some may use hurtful words or actions to assert control or dominance in the relationship.
Unmet Expectations:
Disagreements about how the relationship should function, or unrealistic expectations, can lead to disappointment and hurt.
Lack of Self-Awareness:
Individuals may not be fully aware of how their behavior impacts others, leading to unintentional hurt.
Repeating Past Patterns:
Unhealthy patterns from previous relationships can be replicated in current ones, causing harm.
Interpersonal Conflicts:
Disagreements or conflicts between individuals can escalate and result in hurtful words or actions.
Seeking Attention:
Some individuals may resort to hurtful behavior to gain attention or validation.
Emotional Exhaustion:
Feeling overwhelmed or emotionally drained can trigger impulsive or hurtful responses.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because they are scared of love because they last time they loved someone , they had their heart broken by that someone , so it’s harder for them to accept love from someone again , so they hurt the person they love the most because they are afraid that person is going to do the same thing eventually to them. People that are broken that had their heart shit on before it’s hard for them to love and trust again because they suffered the pain of loving before

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

What therapists and psychiatrists seem to have discovered is that people attack the people who are convenient to attack, those who are physically near them, whether they are the source of their troubles or simply a substitute for the source.

This is sad and leads to lost and damaged relationships.

Using psychological support networks, such as social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists is the better way, and teaches those suffering how to take care of themselves and not hurt their families and friends.

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

That’s like asking, “Why is the lost item always found in the last place someone looks?”

The feeling of being hurt is a reaction. That reaction doesn’t come from people who don’t care.

For example, I love my children more than anything in this world. Because of that love, what they say or do can cut like a knife whereas if my neighbor said or did something similar, it wouldn’t hurt me in the slightest.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to spread love wisdom on Girls Ask Guys, I gotta say, love can be a wild rollercoaster 🎢! People often hurt the ones they love due to insecurities, misunderstandings, or fear of vulnerability. It's like a misfired Cupid’s arrow! Communication is key to dodge these bullets and build stronger bonds. Let's steer clear of those red flags and show some love instead ❤️!

DishLady · Answer

There should never be an intention of hurting someone one claims to love.

However if we’re just talking about feelings, it’s easy to hurt those who love and trust us bc they’ve layed their hearts open to us so they’re vulnerable. It’s up to us to love and protect them, but from time to time we may disappoint or upset them without meaning to… those are moments for growth.

Anything else is very toxic.

Purpleronnie · Answer

For the simple fact that love implies a deep connection and understanding of that person regardless of the type of love that is… friendship , sibling , parent , child …. lover , etc

When you feel that deeply , the connected emotions are magnified exponentially, they can elicit profound happiness , desire and a sense of fulfillment when positive , BUT the contrary is true when those emotions turn negative , and so to polar opposite as an extreme dependent on the crime or betrayal etc which causes the hurt.

So while it’s generally not the “intention” to hurt those we love , the emotional impact of the hurt is directly related to the depth of emotion.

Those whom you love the most have the capacity to hurt you the most. To be open to love you are also preparing yourself for hurt. It’s a double edged sword.

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ProbablyClueless · Answer

Neglect. A lot of people also get so used to having the other person around that they just assume they will stay around.

When someone is behaving self-centeredly or just generally being shitty, they want to have their way and they don't want to think about the fact (or simply haven't thought far enough ahead to care that) they might be on some thin ice with the people around them.

You might think you're arguing about harmlessly stealing a few scraps of food before dinner. Meanwhile, they think the argument is about your decades-long pattern of disregarding your hosts and the people around you and serving yourself before dinner starts.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Because it's much easier to do so for a couple of reasons. First is that you're more than likely to spend more time with them and therefore you have more opportunity to hurt them intentionally or not. Second reason is that I don't think that people really care all that much about hurting the people that they don't know.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

I think that being intimate with others brings on elaborate expectations. Sometimes expectations that you can't or won't live up to. White knights in shining armor is the hope but rarely the reality. We are all human.

TheorionMage · Answer

'Injury' is the result of 'harm' from selfish activity; 'hurt' is the either self or external PERCEPTION of 'injury' to another's situation.   ;)

slatyb · Answer

Not because they want to, but because their loved ones are vulnerable to being hurt. You can't hurt me, your actions don't affect me. But they affect those close to you.

Angelo75 · Answer

Cuz u're simply handling the most with them.
Usually a loved one is someone u feel normal/yourself with.
So you tend to lower your walls and show your imperfections more.
Combine it with the fact that people will slip up a lot.

You see how this mixes into higher probability of hurting loved ones?

bddddd · Answer

It is practically impossible to hurt someone you don't love.

Meet random stranger. Have a couple of dates. Call it off. No harm, no foul.

It's only when someone has invested their idea of a future with you that you can really hurt them. Marry someone for 25 years, call it off... a lot of harm.

This is only meant as an example. But hopefully you take my point.

'We are hurt by people we love the most' would be a more accurate statement.

exitseven · Answer

When you fall in love with somebody you are granting them a license to break your heart.

serious · Answer

That is because they are close to the one they love and are involved in their lives.

Geetu · Answer

In my opinion, most of the people are not able to analyse their own mind and personality. They have lack of patience, tolerance, wiseness... Etc...  Loving someone is not that easy.

WonderingManII · Answer

I think it is because when you are close to someone it is easier to hurt them.

Demi00 · Answer

Because they are the ones we trust the most. I'm not sure if this is noticed in forensic files. A lot of victims are by those close to you.

Dongie · Answer

That's a good question! Perhaps because they are the ones most on their mind.

Jove79 · Answer

Hurt? Hurt in what way. Multiple ways to hurt someone

Luv2BRealExotic13 · Answer

Entitlement. They think it’ll be easier to ask for forgiveness rather than permission. Lack of maturity as well, insecure about something.

yulbsari · Answer

Because evil is the base state of humanity... It's abundantly clear that people behave in strict accordance with Satan's ways... whether they believe in him or not. Evil is sweet to the taste...

Staximus · Answer

Because they are the nearest emotional punching bag when the offender feels like lashing out, and familiarity breeds contempt.

LiamJHayden · Answer

It seems to me that it would be far more difficult, emotionally, to hurt people with whom we have no or little relationship.

Babygirl_S · Answer

No they don’t hurt those they love the most. They protect them.

BDRick · Answer

It’s emotional nature, we like to toy with what we have as humans

beenherebefore · Answer

I'm only comfortable showing my true emotions with the ones I love.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Proximity & familiarity.

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

Familiarity breeds contempt

jahaims · Answer

Loved ones are more likely to take abuse

Blackcat1952 · Answer

Is that not how the saying GOES

Anonymous · Answer

Because they don't think enough.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Because they’re closest

Godihateyou · Answer

More fun.

Anonymous · Answer

I been wondering that

Why do people hurt the one's they love the most?

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