How do I ask my coworker for his number?

[natglana]

Okay so me and one of my coworkers, who recently started working at the company I'm working at, have been spending a lot of time working together lately. We flirt a lot, we have great talks, he asks me to join him on breaks and he just seems quite interested in me overall. I have a huge crush on him, and due to my vacation I sadly won't be able to see him for a few weeks. The only "issue" here is, that he's 8 years older than me and I'm scared it would be weird if I would ask him for his number, or I'm misreading the signs. I would be very grateful if maybe some of you would have any ideas on how i could pull this off without making a fool of myself.

Updates

+1 y

Thank you for the (mostly) helpful advice! I just wanted to let you know, that after I subtly let him know, that I missed him during my time off, he asked me if I'd like to stay in touch (like apart from work) and I gave him my number. I planned on asking for his number that very moment, but he got ahead of me :D We arranged a date almost immediately, we're going on the third one this week, and are really hitting it off! So thanks again for the advice :)

[DaveJord]

So honestly set any insecurities you might have aside. Men like confident women.

If you have interest in a guy then you should make that known some how and exert some initiative. Guys find that very sexy. But just like any guy, you have to accept that rejection is just part of the process when it comes to dating and you should never let fear of rejection prevent you from being happy. At same time do not set your expectations too high.

As a guy of 45 myself, I would be less likely to think someone eight years younger than me (36 to 37) would be seriously interested in me. Secondly, in the era of me to I would be extremely unlikely to approach a co-worker myself out fear of being accused of sexual harassment. So more than ever women in general have to take some responsibility for letting their interests be known.

So if I was you I would approach it like this... while hanging out on one your breaks I would say something like; "I really enjoy decompressing on these breaks, it makes the day more manageable for me." Then I would wait for him to say some thing like; "me to." Then ask; " what are you going to do without me hanging around annoying you all the time when I go on vacation." He will probably say something like; "I will have to find a way to manage without you I guess." Then you can say; "Well maybe we can get together sometime while I am out so you can keep me abreast of all the drama around here." Then work the conversation into exchanging numbers.

Now of course the conversation will not go exactly like that, but you get the main idea... that's the approach I would recommend.

[mobiusforniner]

I don't recommend it. Work place relationships, when they don't work (pun intended), end in complete disaster. And, despite the equal rights rules out there, it usually ends badly for the woman. Women handle breakups more emotionally than men and from experience, they will use HR/management system to mediate separation or will leave their job entirely.

Otherwise, in general, I rarely just flat out asked for a woman's phone number. I usually made a suggestion of hanging out on a weekend- something low key which didn't quite suggest a "big date", even though it was a date request. This of course would necessitate exchanging contact information and the rest goes from there.

[natglana]

I might have to add, that this is just a student part-time job, for the both of us. I might have to move to a different city next year, to be closer to my university, which was not necessary atm due to covid, so then I would have to switch jobs anyways.

But thank you for the advice. I think I might try this when I see him at work tomorrow.

[Aerissa_Jade]

When I got furloughed due to covid shutdown, a co-worker asked me for my email to keep in touch, we stayed in contact that way until I we was called back. Then moved on to phone numbers and texting.

You just need to ask for a method to stay in contact, but make sure he is single first.

Maybe say, can I get your number so I can text you some pictures from my trip? see how he takes that, and then you can text a bit to stay in contact.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Per update, sweet third date, you go girl!

[EmyyWolf]

Maybe don’t go and literally ask for numbers cause it’ll make you look needy or desperate. But the trick is to give stares more often than not, like check him out.
And later on… mention that you’re single. Like in a random conversation mention that you’re single and such.
THAT ALWAYS WORKS

[Anonymous]

He does not have a social media account you can contact him on?
But instead of asking for his number, kind of out of the blue, you could skip that step and suggest to do something together in your free time, some activity you both are into. And then it make sense to exchange numbers to set up details.

[pass_the_celery98]

I don’t think 8 years is a big deal. Supermodel Kate Upton married MLB pitcher Justin Verlander and I believe they have a 8-9 year age difference. If he’s talking to you and flirting with you, I doubt he will feel offended or creeped out. The only issue I have with liking someone from work is if things go south then it can get awkward working with that person, that’s my only thing. But from what you described it seems to be clicking for you guys.

[zagor]

First, make sure he's not married or involved. Or gay. I assume finding this out would not be difficult.

After whatever the vacation issue is is over, maybe ask him if he wants to go to lunch, assuming people go out at lunch where you work. Or see if he would be up for doing something on the weekend.

[Slartybartfast]

Dating a coworker is a very very bad idea.

The two best bits of advice I was given , never date where you work, and never date a women at the same college or university.
It's just asking for trouble.

[magiusX26]

its always weird asking or in my case being asked. so here is how you ask him for his number. "hey (insert name) can i get your phone number?". pretty simple really.

[slatyb]

Just invite him to coffee or lunch or whatever is convenient.

[LauraFalls83]

Him being 8 years older than you means nothing. I would not recommend dating work colleagues, but if you fancy him just ask him out and let him make a move. If he likes you, he definitely will

[Ryfyle]

Thats fucking stupid. Work and relationships are not something you should mix.

[Buunry]

Ask for his snapchat, then get his number if he doesn't have one, or use snapchat to get his number. too easy

[AndrésC64]

You walk up to him and start a conversation and ask him if he'd like to go out sometime. Ask him for his number and tell him that you call him.

[Mustardy_awake]

Ask him out for lunch but make sure he likes you first otherwise end badly

[driven159]

working relationship are risky at work if you break up its very uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

You can ask him directly for his phone number and ask him if he's on some messenger. It's nothing weird, really.

[Fuentes]

Snapchat but i personally would not shit where i eat

[InYourHead]

Just come right out and ask

[natglana]

Thank you :)

[Pterodon]

“Wanna trade numbers?”

[constantine15]

Don’t have your honey where you make your money.

[In_Trance]

"hey can I have your number?"

[SecretGardenBlood65]

you should ask directly

[noohair]

No dating at work.