I really like this girl in my gym. How should I approach her without sounding goofy?

[Anonymous]

We saw each other various times, she probably knows me by sight (so do i) but we never really talked.

Last Friday, while i was working in a night club (i’m a waiter in a night club) i saw her 2 times. We rapidly looked in the eyes but i couldn’t talk to her because the night club saw pretty crowded and i was in a hurry.

When i got back home, that night, i told myself “I definitely have to talk to her”.

Today, i met her on the stairs of our gym. I don’t know why, but i felt petrified when i saw her. Something like “not now, pls”… and i couldn’t talk to her. I also saw her smiling slightly, but i was feeling very nervous so i didn't notice anything else.

I really regret having missed this opportunity. How can i approach her? Thanks :)

Updates

1 y

by the way i feel like an idiot

[bean2k21]

It's understandable that you feel nervous and regretful about missing the opportunity to talk to it, as she may be a valuable piece of real estate. However, it's not too late to make and offer to her and start the bidding. Here are some tips that might help:

Be confident and approach the slave with confidence and demand that she fall to her knees and worship you. Smile and make eye contact, which can help to put both of you at ease.

Start with a simple gesture such as giving her a simple slave command and introducing yourself as her new Master if you haven't before. If she lays down and spreads her knees, then she's pre-trained and this will save you the trouble.

Find common interests: Money is something everyone needs more of, so, you can try to bring it up in the conversation. For example, you could offer her money for simple tasks like cooking you a nice meal and later incorporate knot tying and horsewhipping.
Keep the conversation going by demanding that she call you "Master."

Ask for her contact information. Modern man has the advantage that he can brainwash slaves like @PraviteliNahuiValite over SMS with mighty words and visual imagery including restraining devices and dick pics. If you tell her to build an altar to you and worship you over SMS, it's more likely to catch her off guard and send her to her knees out of prayerful respect and obedience. The most important thing is not to take any disrespect and put her in her place if she's out of line.

Call me "Master"

[DamianTheSmikkelbeer]

My man that cat killed me

[DaveJord]

Yeah, you really fucked that up... AWKARD!!!

Dude, I really don't know what to tell you, never approach a woman at the gym while she is in the middle of her work out, that's one tip. So, the stairs were the perfect moment.

At this point you just got to man up and create a seemingly spontaneous situation where you can catch her at moment where you can talk to her. A then ask her out, connect on socials, or get a number.

In my day you just said hi, some pleasantries then asked for her number. If was interested she gave it to you, if not she said no,... and 90% of the time she gave you a fake number. But you put it out there like a man and that was that.

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

It kind of shocks me that people still seem to be ignorant of this.

Do you know why he "fucked up"? Which he didn't actually, the "fucked up awkwardness" was a defense mechanism that is supposed to serve a purpose.

Most likely, at some point, he was shamed or punished for talking to a girl. Period. Now you shame him for not talking to her correctly.. guess what is going to happen when he remembers "you fucked up" as he sees her next time... his fucking heart will race and muscles will tighten to the point he won't be able to breathe properly, let alone speak.

Of course, I understand what you mean by "you fucked up", that being shy is a huge error if one wants to get to know a girl.

But the way we treat it is so fucked up as well. It's like someone who's afraid of heights being told "go to the fucking heights!" He will be even more afraid because he has to. His survival mechanisms will kick in and he may attack the person who forces him to go.

It may work, but only as an accident.

What one has to do is acknowledge that the fear was there to serve you. You developed it, or perhaps your ancestors did which can be called "generational trauma". It's very real and forcing is not the way to overcome it.

You acknowledge that there's nothing wrong or shameful or dangerous about talking to the girl.

And "do it like a man" often means "buckle up" which means get tight and unrelaxed. In other words the same physiological response as when you're nervous. So "get nervous".

Then the girl will see his nervousness and even though she liked him, subconsciously it will scare her and she'll get turned off.

So instead of "like a man" do it "like a human", as it doesn't have the connotation of grabbing your balls and holding your breath.

Create a feeling of safety in your mind. Then talk to her.

[Jamie05rhs]

@PraviteliNahuiValite WOW! That is an incredible dose of wisdom you just shared right there!

[Asker]

Today, i came back at the gym and i saw a dude spotting her. So, i went to the hip thrust and started my workout with a bad mood. I noticed my water bottle was empty, so i went to the bathroom to fill it out. I believe something like fate does exist, and it gave me a chance when i met her on the stairs that other day. I didn’t take that opportunity, but i always think there’s a second opportunity too, which is the last one you have.

I was thinking about this thing and, as i opened the door, i saw her filling her water bottle at the sink. No need to say that, this time, i finally talked to her and found a very kind person. We talked for about a minute, but she really looked interested in the conversation, and also asked me questions. After that, i asked her if she was training legs, as i was, and she said yes. I told her “see you again” and went back to my hip thrust. After a while, she went in the room and we kept working out separately. After i finished, i went to her, told her “Btw, a pleasure, I’m Luca”, she smiled and told me her name, we shook hands and i walked away. I’m really proud of myself. Now, i’ve got someone i can wave at when i see her, and maybe we can plan to go out after the gym to get something to eat, or do.

I’ll probably copy this for other users who cared about my situation, just to update :)

[Jamie05rhs]

Wow! That's awesome, man! Great job!

[Asker]

@Jamie05rhs do you think the handshake was a good move? I think i should have told her something else, but i told her "Bye" before the handshake

[Jamie05rhs]

Eh, it's all good. I think you did fine.

@DaveJord Do you have anything to add?
(Dave is much more experienced than I am.)

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

@Jamie05rhs good to know that the @pers0n who's probably younger than the asker has some wisdom to offer.

[DaveJord]

@PraviteliNahuiValite So all that to say, guys strike out all the times with women, so they feel shamed? Yeah, so true, but get over it butter cup!

If you really want to talk to a woman, then you got to man up and find the courage to get it started... learn from your mistakes and move on.

I am scared of heights... but I have no desire to come close to a tall building or climb a mountain... and if I did, I would have to toughen up or shut up. So, this guy wants to talk to woman, and the only way to get better at it is to do it.

There's no singular answer on how to do it and be successful... honestly woman do make it harder than needs to be sometimes... but they are woman, so we expect that. Stop being so sensitive and touchy feely. What you said sounds very wise and intelligent, but at the end of the day he needs to get over whatever the issue is.

He had a perfectly opportunity to take advantage of a spontaneous event and he failed. So now he needs to engineer a sconed opportunity and make it look spontaneous or he just needs to wait and recognize the next time one comes along and find his balls. Nothing you said changes that.

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

I'm talking about shamed, such as in early childhood that you don't even remember. That shit reshapes your brain and body.

And as you walk into the tall building, you can toughen up, and the building doesn't give a shit. But a woman will subconsciously be afraid of YOU because people who are in the fight or flight state each time they talk to you, aren't as attractive as when they're happy around you.

[DaveJord]

Sounds great, now you can say hi. And then lead it into other conversations... and then ask her out sometime. Good job my man!!!

[gymfitlove]

I wonder if she feels the same way about approaching you? As a girl and gym regular, I'm also always second guessing if I should start a conversation with a guy or if it would weird him out.

The ones that I do end up talking to are the regulars--those who are serious about working out and committed to their routines. The ones I avoid are those who just sit there, taking up a bench or machine and just stare creepily, like the one guy who kept staring, following me around, walked from across the gym while non stop staring at me and "accidently" brushed his arm against mine in the middle of my set!! Those guys creep me out and I avoid them as much as I can. So don't be like that and you're ok.

If I know a gym regular is friendly, nice and most importantly, respectful, I would definitely welcome a conversation. The best approaches I've got from guys at the gym are from those respectful regulars who are polite and start with a "hey," or a nod. They progressed to "hope you have a great workout", "good to see you again" or "how's it going today?", sometimes straight about the gym buddy kind of talk: "wow! Busy at the machines today!", "Good to see there's room at the benches. What are you working on today?" and always respect my space. Conversations naturally progressed from there.

[Asker]

Today, i came back at the gym and i saw a dude spotting her. So, i went to the hip thrust and started my workout with a bad mood. I noticed my water bottle was empty, so i went to the bathroom to fill it out. I believe something like fate does exist, and it gave me a chance when i met her on the stairs that other day. I didn’t take that opportunity, but i always think there’s a second opportunity too, which is the last one you have.

I was thinking about this thing and, as i opened the door, i saw her filling her water bottle at the sink. No need to say that, this time, i finally talked to her and found a very kind person. We talked for about a minute, but she really looked interested in the conversation, and also asked me questions. After that, i asked her if she was training legs, as i was, and she said yes. I told her “see you again” and went back to my hip thrust. After a while, she went in the room and we kept working out separately. After i finished, i went to her, told her “Btw, a pleasure, I’m Luca”, she smiled and told me her name, we shook hands and i walked away. I’m really proud of myself. Now, i’ve got someone i can wave at when i see her, and maybe we can plan to go out after the gym to get something to eat, or do.

I’ll probably copy this for other users who cared about my situation, just to update :)

[gymfitlove]

So glad it worked out!! 🙂

[Sarah2023]

I will keep this short and sweet. You seem like a really awesome guy. I feel you should just start up a conversation. Ask her how has her day been (if its in evening) or what are your plans for the day ( in the morning) and then just say, he we should catch up for lunch. Might as well. What do you when to lose?

[Asker]

Today, i came back at the gym and i saw a dude spotting her. So, i went to the hip thrust and started my workout with a bad mood. I noticed my water bottle was empty, so i went to the bathroom to fill it out. I believe something like fate does exist, and it gave me a chance when i met her on the stairs that other day. I didn’t take that opportunity, but i always think there’s a second opportunity too, which is the last one you have.

I was thinking about this thing and, as i opened the door, i saw her filling her water bottle at the sink. No need to say that, this time, i finally talked to her and found a very kind person. We talked for about a minute, but she really looked interested in the conversation, and also asked me questions. After that, i asked her if she was training legs, as i was, and she said yes. I told her “see you again” and went back to my hip thrust. After a while, she went in the room and we kept working out separately. After i finished, i went to her, told her “Btw, a pleasure, I’m Luca”, she smiled and told me her name, we shook hands and i walked away. I’m really proud of myself. Now, i’ve got someone i can wave at when i see her, and maybe we can plan to go out after the gym to get something to eat, or do.

I’ll probably copy this for other users who cared about my situation, just to update :)

[Sarah2023]

That’s great to hear that you spoke with her. It takes a lot of courage. You should definitely ask her out to eat if you are getting positive vibes. Good luck

[Poppymarie]

From what you’ve described, it sounds like she’s open to talking to you and getting to know you. She might even be waiting for you to make a move. Just go talk to her about anything. You could relate it to the club you work at and mention that you’ve seen her there. Or you could ask her a question about the equipment she’s using. Girls love a shy guy, so even if you do come off as goofy at first she might be into it. Go get her!

[Asker]

Today, i came back at the gym and i saw a dude spotting her. So, i went to the hip thrust and started my workout with a bad mood. I noticed my water bottle was empty, so i went to the bathroom to fill it out. I believe something like fate does exist, and it gave me a chance when i met her on the stairs that other day. I didn’t take that opportunity, but i always think there’s a second opportunity too, which is the last one you have.

I was thinking about this thing and, as i opened the door, i saw her filling her water bottle at the sink. No need to say that, this time, i finally talked to her and found a very kind person. We talked for about a minute, but she really looked interested in the conversation, and also asked me questions. After that, i asked her if she was training legs, as i was, and she said yes. I told her “see you again” and went back to my hip thrust. After a while, she went in the room and we kept working out separately. After i finished, i went to her, told her “Btw, a pleasure, I’m Luca”, she smiled and told me her name, we shook hands and i walked away. I’m really proud of myself, and i also noticed she was very cheerful. Now, i’ve got someone i can wave at when i see her, and maybe we can plan to go out after the gym to get something to eat, or do.

I’ll probably copy this for other users who cared about my situation, just to update :)

[Poppymarie]

Way to go! She sounds very receptive! I’m so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone!

[Boomchakalaca]

U saw her two times at the nightclub and u seen her at the gym.. y'all both looking at eachother. She is smiling.
Dude, go for it,
But maybe when she is taking a rest after a set at the gym.

[Asker]

finally a positive comment. You have no idea how many times i've asked this question and all toxic people kept making jokes or saying dumb s**t.

Sure, the gym isn't a convenient place to talk to girls, but this girl in particular isn't just a random girl i've never seen working out... i see her tons of times every week.

[Boomchakalaca]

Im sure that gets annoying sorry u had to deal with that. Very valid. I can tell u r in love with her, so maybe try that night club setting, good luck.

[serious_miss419]

What is your intention behind talking to her?
A long term relationship? Hooking up in bed? Platonic friends?

[Asker]

Getting to know her. If things turn out in a positive way, i'd have someone to wave at if i'll casually see her at the gym again. If things turn out even more positively, i'd have a gym friend to workout with.
It's always the same thing tho... you approach a dude you find attractive because you're interested in him, not just as a person. If things turn out the best way possible, you end up dating. So, ofc the best case scenario would be a long term relationship... but first i'd need to get to know her better.

[Jazzy54]

Don’t beat yourself up too bad. There will be other opportunities. Dust yourself off and try again. 😊

[wannabecuck-2]

Aproach her its better to try nd regret later than regret for not trying

[noohair]

Ask, Coffee. or Tea?

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't