How does one ask an introverted guy out?

[mitzykitty1]

As I get to know the guy I dig a bit better as a friend, the more I realize just how introverted he is. It's slightly difficult for me to put myself completely into his mind set at this point in my life. I'm very much on the fence between an introvert and an extravert, and in the past two years have really embraced the extravert in me; and now all of a sudden I've realized I'm having problems putting myself back into my guy's mindset. I want him to come with me when I do my volunteer work, and explore the downtown, but I'm beginning to understand he may never be interested in what I do. Having said that, there's still a side to him I feel a connection with. Even though he's not that interested in some of the outside activities I involve myself with, I love hanging out and doing what he likes to do just as much as my own activities - and no mater what, he's so extremely warm towards me.

Having said that, he's super warm, friendly, not a snob in anyway - just extremely private - and I don't want to give up on the idea of getting to know him beyond the friend level. I really don't want to disrespect him in anyway, which I have a feeling would include full on flirting in a very public way - especially since the only time we really see each other we're with close mutual friends. (Don't want to embarrass him in front of friends!)

Does anyone have any tips for me? Probably the number one thing I've realized about this is that I'm probably going to be waiting along time if I wait for him to make a move (if he makes one at all) and I really just want to snag him before someone else catches his eye. :)

[markml]

People have differences...but that's not what's most important.

You could be a total extrovert, and he could be a pure introvert, and you could still have a very happy relationship. I've seen it. I know a married couple like that.

You can also have two people who seem very much alike, and feel that deep connection you're talking about, but still end up miserable together. I've been there myself. One of the things I found out is when you start off thinking you have a lot in common with someone, you may stop actively trying to learn new things about them.

Rather than trying to take the other person and frame them in your own perspective, sometimes what is better to do is to assume their perspective is different than yours and then be curious about what you don't understand. What makes them interesting? What makes them unique?

This guy may never get the excitement you get from your volunteer work, and that's fine so long as he understands it's important to you and appreciates you for it. Similarly, you should look for things that he's into that you don't quite get. I'm sure he has something beyond being an introvert that makes him special.

As for getting close to the guy, try to spend time with him when no mutual friends are around. Just the two of you. If he's a real introvert, he won't object to that. I guess I'm suggesting you ask him out on a date, although it doesn't have to be a formal one if you're not ready for that.

By the way, awesome Bugs Bunny picture!

[mitzykitty1]

He's definitely has his hobbies and passions I will never be able to completely join in. I've learned too well, that as time passes on - I've known him for about two years now, and for about eight months of those we were roommates. But I've made the best of it, and I've developed my own niche within his close friend circle and he's expressed appreciation for me and what I've brought to his friendship circle.

And thanks! Bugs is undoubtedly the best!

[upskrtcelebs]

Yep, an introverted guy is probably dying for the girl to do the work and ask him out.

[ZenQueen]

"Hey, I would really like to do blah blah blah with you or go ___ with you" (insert dirty word... I mean activity of choice!) These are the types that need a clear sign of interest, he won't get subtle hints, be straight forward, show him your interested.

[Shaun]

Say "I'm going to such and such, and you're coming with me."

[theydidntnameme]

best answer ;)

[SnackG]

You do it the same way you would any other guy. Should work unless he's extremely introverted and ends up scared to answer you.