Is he flirting or just doing his job?

[Anonymous]

So I eat at the same place every week and know a few of the regular staff. I really like the manager but I’m not sure if he’s flirting or just being nice.

He is always smiling , asking questions about my life and generally very pleasant. If he’s cooking for us he always plates up extra. He remembers my likes and changes the dish to exactly how I like it. He now and again surprises me with a glass of wine and always gives discounts on the bill. The discount can be anything from standard 20% that all regular staff give 80% . My friend commented that he called me ‘sweetheart’ but I’m sure I’ve heard him say that to others and I’d think most regulars get some sort of discount / freebies.

I feel awkward asking him out as it’s his work place and if he says no I want to still be able to eat there with out it being an issue.

[_Maya_]

Customer service is his job. It appears that it is working because you keep coming bacck. The discounts are a little odd. That is the one thing that sticks out to me as above and beyond just being nice to customers. I get it being awkward to ask out at work but at least he is a manager. The real problem I see is if you do and he says no how awkward that might get going back. You might lose your lunch spot or very least be weird to eat and see him there.

[Asker]

I find it difficult reading people and yes I don’t want either of us uncomfortable if he says he’s not interested

[_Maya_]

Yeah it isn't easy to read situations like that since his job is to be nice. I totally get ya there about not wanting things to get uncomfortable.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for most helpful opinion!

[Asker]

Yvw. Im even more confused since yesterday’s visit but I’m going to make a decision by the next time to if I make a move of not

[_Maya_]

What happened last visit if you don't mind my asking?

[Asker]

I had given him a spare cinema voucher and he wiped the bill. I thanked him and said I was concerned he’d be in trouble but he said he’s not northerner about that. He was a lot more hands on than usual to and was on dinner break when we arrived but he still seated etc he seams to be opening up more but I’m still not sure if it’s just because we are regulars

[Asker]

He is a quiet supportive person and likes to ‘fun’ on a bit as well

[_Maya_]

Yeah tough read. Might be a wait and see sort of situation if he makes a move. You could always drop a hint. Like oh I heard of this event that sounds like a good time. The hope is he said that would be fun or whatever and then a maybe I'll see ya there. Just a rough idea.

[Asker]

Yeah he’s encouraged me to write a book and said he would proof read it for me , on a certain life experience I’ve had. ( I don’t want to disclose on here ) I was thinking of asking him to do that maybe over a coffee out of his work environment n see from there

[_Maya_]

Great idea!!

[richardcory]

There can be some of both: Flirting isn't a binary thing. He may find you attractive and likes talking to you, but hasn't thought it was appropriate to ask you out. Its also possible he likes you but is in a relationship - so he enjoys the very mild harmless flirting but doesn't want anything more.

I think its fine to ask him out. Very few people will be offended by a polite invite.

[boobliker]

being a good host is my first but are you with a boy then just G/H if on own or with femail then is Flirting big time so ask him.. what else is on offer it an ice breaker

[Asker]

I go in alone or with female friends only

[boobliker]

his Flirting

[SnowedIn]

What @_Maya_ said.

I think he's just doing his job.

[JesseP1nk]

Dont think too much of it. He is just being nice