Would you ever refrain from asking someone out even if you suspected that the attraction was mutual?

Question

Say you started to have feelings for someone, and you suspected that they might also like you. Would there ever be circumstances whereby you still wouldn't feel comfortable making your feelings known? Such as bitterness about relationships, worries about ruining the friendship, expectations, etc?

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

1. I would never worry about ruining the friendship. You shouldn't enter a relationship planning on failure.

2. If she was already in a relationship with someone else, she is off limits.

3. If the age gap/maturity gap is too great, we are likely to not work in the long term.

4. I would not start dating someone if I knew they had a serious and potentially life-threatening medical condition.

5. I would not date someone if I sensed that she was incapable of supporting herself.

6. I might not date someone if we had huge cultural differences. However, I have dated women from Ukraine, Poland, Germany, Ireland, Colombia, Brazil, Phillipines, China, and India and always adapted to those differences. If she was devoutly Muslim, that probably wouldn't work.

peedy · Accepted Answer

Women dont have that problem they just back and wait
As a guy why would you refrsin if you knew she already liked you its easy than when a guy approaches a girl he doesn't know anything does she like me or does she dislike will shr say yes or no. For every 1 girl that says yes 99 say no as a woman you couldn't handle that you have no idea what a man goes through in the dating game it really sicken me that you would even ask because you dont know you can never understand and you dont care
You couldn't handle it

AviatorTom · Answer

Nope, unless she or I was already "taken".

MLGbreezy · Answer

Yes ofc I look young so I get a lot of younger girls who ask me out it can be rare but I’ve had some girls who were underage the age ask me out or be very flirty. Because of that I always get an age before talking to any girl cause some girls look older than they are and some look younger.

SotiCoto · Answer

Of course. Feelings aren't enough, and I don't particularly care for having them in the first place. I'd need to know on a mental level that it could reasonably work out... not simply be on a hormone high.

DJB72 · Answer

I did. I was about 24 and we were good friends. There was definitely a connection at the time but I didn't want to risk the friendship we had.

Also her dad was a friend who was both an ex cop and an ex con, three inches taller than me and equal proportion - and I was 230lbs at the time. No way was I going to explain my intention to him 🤣🤣🤣

Bricealan · Answer

Yes, and that would be a 'testy' situation. I found that my supervisor/manager at work was attracted to me, and me to her, and honestly, I really liked her personally and professionally. She was a single Hispanic woman who was several years younger than I. She left the company, and I tried desperately to locate her later with no success.

Might have been a good thing... but then we never know

aceleon · Answer

yes, i don't want a relationship no matter what only relationship i could be bothered is my ideal relationship (having multi bi girls all of us being together with me as the only guy) and i'mnot seeing that happening in near future.

Heolurt · Answer

So back when I was trying to date, I was delusional enough to think I could get a girlfriend and that some girls were attracted to me.

When I was giving up on trying to date I had to refrain from asking out any girl because there was still hints of the delusion that a girl might also like me back. So my answer is yes.

menina · Answer

Yes, I wouldn't say or do anything. It would be too risky. Besides after thinking about the whole situation, I would assume that it was just my imagination and nothing was happening. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

exitseven · Answer

I used to do this all the time when I was younger. I was frightened to death to ask out a girl. Even when I was sure that she liked me I still could not do it.

Isabellaioss · Answer

Well, at present I'm in such a situation where I am holding myself from asking the guy I like out because I want him to know and be comfortable with me. And another reason is that I want to make sure that the attraction or connection that we have is genuine.

HawkPerception · Answer

There are many times I thought to myself "Yeah she's too attractive for me. Probably gets attention from way better dudes than me 24/7. I won't bother."

NathanDavis · Answer

only if they are in a relationship... I don't mess with that (especially if they're into me in any way while they're with someone else... nope)

RealMarek · Answer

I was in this situation, but she was my friend’s girlfriend. I refrained from asking her out. After I moved away they broke up but I never saw her again.

SoJust · Answer

if I'm in doubt, I try not to propose, but this event is not in our hands because emotions are driving us, because emotions are driving us, we go to the person and propose because the brain wants it

elizamichale1 · Answer

I will ask them out myself... i always used to wait but now i dont mind asking them out myself

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Only if I work with her. If she says no it could get awkward.

Nifrayu · Answer

The old me would have. I would still prefer to be the one asked out, but if there was a mutual interest I probably wouldn't wait for that anymore.

ohmyguy · Answer

Ya if I knew that they wouldn't feel that way or would be turned off or even embarrassed at the thought... had they had more information

shortster · Answer

She is a waitress at a sports bar I frequent. I am sure she has a slew of guys hitting on her, I don't want her to think of me as just another creepy customer.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would still ask her out

warsevf · Answer

Tell me about it, I am an immature ahole still tied to what my parents want and not asking her out in the process

AmeerX · Answer

Actually, I tell those whom I like. No games. If you don't like my style we were not meant to be anyways

fatcat700592 · Answer

No I'd never make my feelings known unless they say it first. I'm just too shy to do that

genericname85 · Answer

i guess yes, if i thought our long term life goals don't align at all.

MrCharlie13 · Answer

If the risk of losing a friendship is bigger or if us datinmg would cause a conflict on our lives

Anonymous · Answer

The only thing that’s stopping me is because the man I’m currently interested in is my supervisor. Otherwise, he’d know.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Only knowing she is already in a relationship.

loveslongnails · Answer

I don't suffer from those diseases, so no, I wouldn't refrain. :)

AimeeKyle · Answer

My younger less confident self, yes. At my age, if we were both single, I’d ask away.

ThrillSeeker01 · Answer

I get a little nervous sometimes but that wouldn't stop me.

Anonymous · Answer

I won't ask someone out full stop I've had everyone tell me someone likes me and honestly wouldn't do anything about it

pickles77 · Answer

Sure, if it’s work related certain positions won’t allow you to date other workers.

Jerre · Answer

No, I am always comfortable asking a girl out.

krin_m · Answer

May be. But I would still figure out how to discuss the mutual attraction!

robhazelnut · Answer

Most every time.

HappyWoman34 · Answer

No way, unless I was married.

Shy_Steve · Answer

I probably would because I'm Shy.

Staximus · Answer

If she has a boyfriend or husband I won't

lightbulb27 · Answer

yea, I did.

jimmy2 · Answer

Depends on personality

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Yes.

HouseMoat · Answer

Yeah

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

Would you ever refrain from asking someone out even if you suspected that the attraction was mutual?

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I would still ask her out