Guys who get frustrated with girls being so insecure about their looks, are there any times when girls have good reason to be insecure?

Question

I mean, what about girls who constantly are in situations whereby they are treated differently than a more attractive girl nearby. At a certain point, doesn't it become clear that it's not just in her head that she's unattractive, and that her being 'hard on herself' is actually quite justified?

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

Any girl I am interested in being with doesn't value herself purely upon her looks. So hopefully she has achieved the maturity to overcome any misgivings she may have about how she compares to other girls in the looks department to an extent that it does not leave her hyper insecure about her own looks. And further I hope that she understands that if I am with her it means I bought the whole package and I'm into it and that realization should dispel her insecurity.

One reason it bothers me if a girl is hyper insecure about her looks is that she doesn't seem to be satisfied with the fact that I am with her and is more concerned about what other guys think about her looks. I want her to relish the fact that to me, she is the most beautiful girl in the world and that's the main thing that counts.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

In general, I think it's over rated.

A girl that has no makeup, in jeans with dorky glasses, can be more attractive than the woman dressed to the 9's. the difference is in her personality and projection... what's inside coming out.

That isn't true for all guys... some are superficial and we know that. they are visual, depends on the perceiver.

In general, I'd say... the aggressive, confident bird... gets the worm... ya know? The passive unconfident one... goes hungry.

There is an element of personality to that...

demonics · Answer

Its the disconnect and the gaslighting.

She refers to herself as a 10 but refuses to leave the house without gobs of make-up on, uses filters on all of her pictures or refuses to let you take pictures of her without her checking them first. I just saw a tik tok about this. Alana I think her name was... "When the insecure girl makes us retake the group photo 20 times" This same person will then call YOU insecure for not thinking she's a 10.

The world will never see you as you see yourself. And good luck forcing people to see you that way. Real confidence is sacking up and acknowledging what you are and certain things can't be changed, not brow beating people into liking you. This is quintessential "women talking to other women about what men think" and completely disregarding what the actual men think. (Sidebar: Often times, what you consider to be a flaw, men consider to be endearing. Nothing worse than seeing your woman look like X throughout your entire relationship and then on the wedding day or after some make-over, she's loaded down with all of this fake sht, to the point that she looks like a completely different person, *read, trashy). 20 years of this, women on women talking about men, and you end up with:

Lets insult them in the comments then cry in our cars later off camera

"̶W̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶g̶u̶y̶s̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶b̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶c̶k̶s̶?̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶.̶ ̶M̶y̶ ̶d̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶p̶o̶o̶l̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶s̶m̶a̶l̶l̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶n̶o̶n̶ ̶b̶u̶f̶f̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶c̶k̶s̶.̶"̶

"REAL MEN like buff chicks. They're just mad that I can lift more than them!"

383247 Likes

And this will net you a boyfriend how exactly?

journmarie · Answer

We women really need to stop comparing ourselves to other women. We all have strengths and weaknesses regarding our appearance. Society puts a lot of pressure on us to be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if we stopped focusing on that, and instead focused on enhancing our own beauty instead of trying to find our beauty in someone else’s beauty, we might start appreciating our own unique beauty. (I think I broke the record for using the word “beauty” most in a sentence sorry about that😂)

syncheart · Answer

I think we all have the right to feel the way we feel. However, if a woman is good enough for the man she is with. I think it is in her best interest to lighten up on herself. Both for emotionally health of the over all health of relationship. Relationships are built on trust. If I had a girlfriend, or wife that told me positive things about me. At first I give a girl some push back. But after I see that she is serious about her opinion. I give up. Because I don't want to push her away, with my insecurity.

Anonymous · Answer

All in all almost everybody can have a justified reason to feel insecure. But constantly fishing for compliments and reassurance can be highly annoying.

Also I personally found that the women who I supported the most “returned” the favor by losing romantic interest and friendzoning me. Especially if it was an otherwise attractive women who had this insecurity.

Then these same women will give more attention to men who ignore them or even tease and (mildly) insult them. These guys will occasionally throw in an unexpected compliment that seems more authentic since they are usually assholes otherwise. It’s classic push pull asshole manipulation.

It’s just sad that many women feel more attracted to those kind of men because they are more of a “challenge” and validate their insecurities.

Not all of women are like that of course but a lot are. It always seems like a giant shit test.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I think that's a fair point but also a lot of the girls treated differently will also behave differently (more flirty, touchy, extroverted). To just say one isn't attractive because of that is a bit much. Both girls and guys get insecure and inevitably compare themselves it's really just girls are more vocal and more effected by it in society.

Anonymous · Answer

As a guy l understand that all women have body image issues. It doesn’t matter how attractive a woman is; she will still find flaws in her appearance.

I am also a man that sees attractiveness in women that other men don’t. I have been around some trailer trash and homely looking women that l have found to be cute and that could be beautiful with minimal effort on their part, but don’t have the financial means to afford the right look to compliment their cuteness.

Some women refuse to give up the drugs and alcohol.

I also believe that a woman’s mental health can affect her willingness to take the time to be more physically appealing.

I do find it offensive for skinny women to tell everyone they need to go on a diet. I feel as if they are only rubbing it in that they are thin. I have seen some very attractive overweight women.

Beauty is deepest in the most shallowest observer.

HawkPerception · Answer

I don't get frustrated with a girl's insecurities. I have insecurities of my own. I just try to reassure her in every way I can. It can be draining for either the girl or myself if we constantly have to reassure each other, but communicate all your thoughts and you'll always find a way to figure things out

MissStrawberry912 · Answer

It’s not really fair, generally, I don’t think it’s okay to feel ashamed of our insecurities… we all have our own internal or external struggles that we are all working on everyday in our own ways. I feel like generally if someone makes us feel bad about having insecurities isn’t really the person for you… I hope you find someone who accepts you, uplifts you, and support you :)

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

When any individual becomes concerned about their looks compared to others, it's going to be an unfair game. There will always be someone better looking than you, and there will always be someone who is not as attractive as you. Finding someone who appreciates all qualities should be the focus.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

I’ve noticed with girls sometimes the insecure one isn’t that’s least attractive but the exact opposite

I went to school with a really beautiful girl with long thick hair who didn’t have a lot of female friends because her boobs were really big and it caused the other girls to shun her

some really attractive girls are insecure because other women will feel intimidated by them

loveslongnails · Answer

There's ALWAYS someone better looking, smarter, more talented, more this, more that, than you. And the same applies to them. That's no reason to think you're not worth a lot too, so there's no real justification for feeling like you're "less than". You can be voted the most beautiful woman or man alive and STILL be insecure.

qtheoneandonly · Answer

I don't think anybody should be ashamed of how they look. I would tell anyone who is ashamed. They should put some time into fixing that. that being said, can't change your face structure or any deformities you have. but if you're just out of shape out a little bit.

Anonymous · Answer

This phenomenon (girls being insecure that they're not hot enough due to the existence of other very attractive or even MORE attractive women) is just as ridiculous as the phenomenon of guys having all kinds of issues about their penis size, due to the existence of horse-hung men. As pathetic as you find guys who obsess about their penis size, that's basically how pathetic we find it when an attractive girl is insecure about her looks.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Many times it's in a girls head, like comparing herself to supermodels and spending far too much time on social media.. It can get frustrating when a guy tries to reassure her, but she insist on her insecurities.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

We’re not perfect. Those are opportunities to be accepting of those you love anyway, in all aspects of who they are. They’re not flaws to be highlighted, they’re wounds to be healed. Hopefully they are accepting of your acceptance.

Nikki1989 · Answer

There are many reasons, but those reasons are rarely good, and that goes for both women and men.

Staximus · Answer

Not really, and if you tell them they are just being crazy they will continue to be no matter how much sensible reasoning you do. So you just have to let crazy women be crazy until they figure it out themselves that they are being stupid

Djaay · Answer

Yes , as each person or girl is different in many ways. To eliminate that insecurity a guy should work along with her so she may understand the reasoning behind the insecurity and then adjudicate a way over it , through it or around it.

hahahmm · Answer

No. Unless it is because you are too lazy to take proper care of yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

So long as you keep mistakenly equating "less attractive than" with "unattractive " you will always be your own problem.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, girls tend to be hard on themselves about their looks.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Oh it’s not frustration. Insecure girls are the easiest to play into getting their pants off.

Pohjolan · Answer

Well obviously some are not doing themselves any favours by their unhealthy habits.

Anonymous · Answer

About as many times as the guy has a reason to be insecure.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Hardly any that I've ever noticed.

Sparkie460 · Answer

None that I can think of at the moment

Guys who get frustrated with girls being so insecure about their looks, are there any times when girls have good reason to be insecure?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Yes, girls tend to be hard on themselves about their looks.

Guys who get frustrated with girls being so insecure about their looks, are there any times when girls have good reason to be insecure?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Yes, girls tend to be hard on themselves about their looks.

We're glad to see you liked this post.