Girls, beautiful girl I met at the gym. Changed gyms - did not get her number. Can I go to the gym to look for her and ask her or ask to chat more?

[Anonymous]

I got her name, but not her number. I dislike exchanging info at the gym. We signaled very strongly for weeks or months before this happened. She showed every single sign. Checked me out up and down. Followed me out. Emoted loudly with her friends. Mirrored me. The last interaction she came right up behind me as I was squatting and set her things down aside me. I was a gentleman and cleared the rack for her. She clearly stretched in this space so I could see her further. Since changing gyms I have reached out to her on social media letting her know the situation that I changed gyms referencing this last gentlemanly interaction at the squat rack and if she would like to talk more. I have followed up on the reach out. Girls, what do you think? All I know is… she didn’t want to chat… IYKYK.

Updates

+1 y

There may be some confusion in the last sentence of the details. All I know is.. she wanted to do way more than just chat with me at the time we were seeing each other at the gym.

Updates

+1 y

Did I do the wrong thing not making myself seen where I met her (my old gym which I’m not currently a member) this past weekend? Do I make myself seen this coming weekend?

[SueShe]

Are you sure that you are indeed in the age group 36-45? To me, that behavior is more likely the one of a teenager than a full grown, middle aged adult.

If you failed to get her number, then forget it and don't lower yourself to go back to that gym just to get her number. You would make a fool out of yourself and also, you will definitely look needy and desperate.

You can try to stalk her outside the gym and wait for her to come out but don't go into the gym just to wait for her there. it looks so obvious.

[Asker]

I’m younger than that but older than your posted age. And so your second paragraph demonstrates some of the complications with gyms, especially this one which is big and unorganized (the place was an absolute mess- the weights were left everywhere, management sucked and juvenile - weights being primary reason I left). I go to the gym to lift heavy weights and get strong like a man. I don’t go to the gym to take numbers. I don’t think I would make a fool out of myself with this girl if I went back to the gym when I was available and waited outside for her to come out. I’m a full time working adult who works my ass off everyday. A strong independent woman should recognize this

[Asker]

The funny thing is she would do this for me

[Asker]

What do you think now?

[Nikki1989]

I guess you had your chance and you blew it.

[Asker]

I’m too busy to take info at gyms. Don’t you think a strong independent woman can understand this? That’s what she is

I believe I’ve taken an actionable step that I can afford to do

[HateyouxD]

Well it seemed promising.

[Asker]

After waiting for a reply to my reaching out on social media. What do you think?

[HateyouxD]

Again, it seemed promising.

[Asker]

Updated the details. May have been confusion

[HateyouxD]

How are you sure of that

[Asker]

The signals and tension were very strong. I don’t care about that component. I want to know if I should go back there now that I don’t go there if she doesn’t see or reply to the social media message in a reasonable
amount of Time or try to attend events/places in the area

[HateyouxD]

Honestly it might be a little weird. But I think you should try. Hopefully she's understanding and takes it as a compliment

[Asker]

That’s more like it I ageee

[HateyouxD]

Yea good luck

[Asker]

Thank you. My girl friend is saying to me my message can end up in the “graveyard” messenger if I’m not her friend on social media, which is the case. How long do you think I should honestly wait before going back outside the gym where we met or trying to attend events/places in the area?

[HateyouxD]

Just go make sure you pre pare what you have to say

[Asker]

Thanks for the feedback. That doesn’t necessarily answer my last question 🙋‍♂️:)

[HateyouxD]

Maybe a couple of weeks?

[Asker]

So it’s a couple of weeks today. I’m thinking give it until the weekend

[HateyouxD]

Good luck

[Asker]

Everyone says to to the gym. She has something for sale on the same social media I reached out to her on. I’ve been thinking about bidding on it. Thoughts?

[HateyouxD]

Do it!! Choose 1 tho

[Asker]

Haha I think it could be cuter if I bid on her item

[HateyouxD]

How will you talk tho. That might be a little creepy lol

[Asker]

Yea I sort of agree. I was thinking I’d just commit to buy it, show up to buy it - it would be me her crush she hadn’t seen and then take her out.

[HateyouxD]

Nevermind don't do that. She's going to want to know how you found her item. It'll seem like stalking. Just try to find her at the gym. You might as well go back to the old gym and work out as usual

[Asker]

Ok part of the story is I am not a member of the gym any longer. I have to get a multiple day pass to the gym and chance running into her which is exactly why I would be getting the pass ha

[HateyouxD]

I think you're thinking too much into this? I know you know her socials. I know you know her full name. Just hit her up on social media. Cause now you're doing too much

[Asker]

😂 you’re saying don’t get the pass! Just go there!

[Asker]

Only got 1!

[HateyouxD]

No I'm saying you need to do something or not at all. Go back to the gym and get a membership. Why did you leave in the first place

[Asker]

The gym culture sucked! Nobody racked their weights! Bad value. I left and I moved cities too.. still nearby enough to go out of my way there if it means talking to her

[HateyouxD]

I think it'll be creepy if you somehow found her item Going on sale she'd be like what!

[Asker]

Agree read my last reply thank you

[HateyouxD]

I did. You gotta do what you gotta do

[Asker]

Ok I saw her Google-eyed staring at me with friends outside when I was on my way out from clearing my account at the club. Wasn’t even like we saw each other. Was like a sense. I got a gym trial. Didn’t see her. Can’t get another til summer. Negotiating offers on rejoining the gym.. lol. What do you think?

[Asker]

Got a 10 day pass

[HateyouxD]

Go for what you want

[HateyouxD]

Good luck!

[Asker]

So I think I saw her and she looked the same kind of flustered / red in the face /sort of like “ omg there he is,” but I belieeeve I saw her run off or leave the area where she was quickly! I don’t know if my seeing her was in my mind..

[Asker]

(Mind you I appeared at the gym where she was approaching me/stalking me after 3 months).

[HateyouxD]

You might have to chalk it up as a loss and next time when you see someone who sparks your interest to not let so much time pass you by

[Asker]

It was fall out/trauma from a past relationship and having a goal to accomplish that were preventing me from talking to her. I’m of the belief that if I just live my life, continue healing and accomplish my short term goals anything is possible naturally.

[HateyouxD]

I believe that to be true too

[Asker]

Im trying to figure this out without doing too much. She was chasing me hard. She was looking for me as recently as January 11. I make myself seen like I said before this comment. She is visibly flustered from a distance. Maybe I saw her run off. I haven’t made myself seen since and don’t have plans to until at least Friday night (a week) an enigma. I’m rarely seen. 😅

[HateyouxD]

I think she could be so shy she's scared and those are ones that are hardest to approach

[Asker]

She’s shy. She was shy from the start thanks

[Asker]

Debating if I should
Make myself seen this weekend. Will have been a week. Debating going out in that city vs. rejoining gym

[Asker]

Vs. giving it two weeks +

[Asker]

Remember she was also approaching me. Chasing me.. running after me

[Asker]

Make it a day time encounter they said. Gym during day for ex.

[Asker]

Help>

[Asker]

She wasn’t shy. She was semi aggressively approaching the me. Definitely chasing me. Hear me out. She’s looking for work as a nanny. Can I contact her that way? Hire her? 😬

[Anonymous]

Maybe

[Asker]

Can you elaborate?