How do u boost ur self esteem when u are having a low self esteem day😅🥺😅?

[valentina4eva]

today i was at the gym and my gym crush was just finishing and leaving and i passed by him and said byeee😄😄 to him, and he didn’t even make eye contact and just barely even acknowledged me☹️☹️ then he walks past me and calls out “bye” *other girls name* to another girl that was working out there that he knows😵‍💫 all flirty sounding toooo😵😵

i have talked to him a few times b4 and i thought we were building a rapport but now idek and my self esteem is like -1000 🥺😔🥺😔

sozzzz i realize i am rambling like im 14 but i have just been having no success w men recently and now my self esteem is just crusheddddd

what are some tricks for self esteem?🤔🤔💜💜

Updates

+1 y

thank u babes for being so nice and all ur great advice!!💜💙

[bobalife]

I’m sorry it happened, but keep on being you, be real cute the next time you see him, and say hi~ 🥹
Answering your question, literally I would put on something sexy, play some Rachet music, sing and dance sexy to myself 😂😂😂
On a real note, remind myself I’m a bad betch and still cute af 🤭 hype yourself up, I dress up, look good, feeling myself, & surround myself with good vibes. Don’t let one person take that away~

[valentina4eva]

thank u💜 good advice

i thought i was looking cute when it happened but apparently not cute enough😂😂😵😵

[bobalife]

Your welcome! 🩷 Oh no, girl you cute. You can be extra cute & friendly to try to grabbed his attention next time 😊

[valentina4eva]

i will tryyyyyy!!😊 and if it doesn’t work i will come back here and cry about it again😂😂😵😵 jkjk

[bobalife]

LOLLL aws it’s okay I laugh, get loud, eat, and cry with my gfs 🥲 give us an update!!!

Just remember to be yourself & be confident with your cuteness, you got this girly! 😘 if he don’t see it, his loss, there’s a ton of other hotter dudes! Lol.

[valentina4eva]

thank uuuuuu!!😄😄 i will do my best to make u proud!😂
is there any way i can bring u with me to wingwoman me🤔🤔🤣

[bobalife]

Hahahahaha yasss I trust you, I’m looking forward to good news🥲👏🏻👏🏻
We use those military speaker thingy… smile with your eyes, Roger, eye contact. 😂

[IslaTheWitch]

you have to change the base for your self-esteem. It must come from inside. From your strengths. Not from the interest of other people.

[valentina4eva]

how do i do that tho? produce self esteem from inside i mean?

[IslaTheWitch]

it's a process; you need to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, and accept it as a fact. Then, focus on developing strengths and working on weaknesses. In the meantime... you need to be gentle with yourself and your emotions, acknowledge them, learn yourself, and love yourself unconditionally. It takes time...

self-esteem grows with time when you accept and love yourself. It comes from the inside of you, from everything you love and accept in you.

[valentina4eva]

tyvm i can understand focusing on developing strengths and working on weaknesses, but i don’t know how to learn to love myself unconditionally🥺🥺 I don't know i guess im realizing i must have deeper issues😵‍💫

[IslaTheWitch]

it's a process... it comes with time when you understand yourself... when you feel connected with yourself. Acceptance is a starting point...

[valentina4eva]

soz i am new to this😅 tyvm for ur patience, so i need to start w working on accepting myself for who i am and my strength& weaknesses then, if i understand🤔🤔 ty u are a wise witch💜

[IslaTheWitch]

thank you

take your time... whenever you connect with yourself give yourself all time you need

[KrakenAttackin]

@islathewitch. Spot on correct.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

To me the key is to be action-oriented, not results-oriented. You want to tie your self-esteem to your actions, not results. Take Poker as an analogy:

If you call all your chips with AA in No-Limit Hold Em pre-flop, it is *always* the right move because there is no hand that beats yours. However, you might still get stacked due to bad luck.

A lot of Poker players, especially bad ones, get upset by the results in these cases because they tie their happiness and even their self-image to results.

Yet the best Poker players, and the ones who always win in the long run, don't tie their happiness and self-image to results. They tie them to their actions. So they understand that making the best move can sometimes bring about bad results and that making the worst move can sometimes bring about good ones. These players, provided they continue to make good moves, can stay cheerful even if they have the worst luck imaginable and lose their stack 10 times in a row, because they still know they made all the right moves.

That's the key to everything as I see it: life, morality, ethics, self-esteem, confidence, etc. You want to be like the best Poker player and be as results-independent and action-dependent as possible. You should evaluate yourself by your ability to take the best actions, not by your ability to obtain the best results.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

So, for example, let's say you trust someone and they betray your trust. A bad Poker player would say, "I trusted someone and got a bad result, therefore I should never trust people again." That's results-oriented thinking.

A good Poker player would say, "Trusting people is the right and good choice that has the maximum chance of forging alliances, even though I got unlucky this time, so I'm going to continue trusting people." And they don't get upset so much when they get unlucky and see their trust betrayed, because trusting people is the right move even when it doesn't always produce the best result.

So back to your crush, you seem upset because your crush barely acknowledged you but was anything you did wrong? You said "bye" to him and that sounds to me like a good move. The results here weren't so great but I think you still made good moves. So you should be happy with yourself.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Good Poker players look at moves as being +EV (positive expected value given the knowns and unknowns) vs. -EV (negative expected value). So saying goodbye nicely to your crush I'd say is +EV. In this particular case it may have backfired, but if more people throughout the world said bye to their crush, that would likely produce better results than if people never said bye to their crush.

So that's how you should think about all this. You should feel good about yourself that you said bye to your crush since given only what you could have possibly known, it's a good move, and a move that should be repeated in similar situations.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

As a counter-example, consider drunk driving. Let's say someone drives home completely drunk and they get a good result: they arrive home safely and everything is fine.

A bad poker player here would be very happy and even start thinking, "I should drive home drunk all the time since I got good results!" They wouldn't suffer any hit to their self-esteem and maybe even experience a boost to their self-esteem for getting such good results from driving home drunk.

Yet a good player here would be very upset and think, "I shouldn't have driven drunk even though I got good results! That was a move that had a negative expected value even though I got lucky and got positive results." So they would be ashamed of themselves even though they got good results and suffer a hit to their self-esteem.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also low self-esteem isn't necessarily a bad thing if someone is action-oriented. A person who makes bad decisions all the time should have low self-esteem and not see it improved until they start making good decisions. They should be ashamed of themselves if they are genuinely making bad moves all the time.

But a person should not be ashamed of themselves if they are making good moves and just unluckily getting bad results; such a person should be proud of themselves for making good moves despite the bad results.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Don't take it personal, he just seems to be interested in someone else, the chances of him acknowledging your existence is lowwe than normal when his crush is in the same room as you, I'd say whenever his crush is absent, you make your move to show your unique personality and try winning him over that way, it's not all about looks, he might be attracted to her personality along with her looks, assuming from what you said he doesn't even know you and you should change that, your looks aren't the problem so don't blame the looks, gyms just have a lot of competition and they seem to have known each other a lot longer.

[bobalife]

You’re alive 😶 but that was 💯

[valentina4eva]

thanksss!! good advice and game plan😄😄 u are wise

[ChicoFromThe305]

Thanks valentina, may the crush notice your wonderful existence ha

[ChicoFromThe305]

Missy boba, I hope I'm alive ☻
But thanks lol

[bobalife]

LMAOOO chicoooo, chicooo you woke up from the dead… a zombie Chico!!😯🧟‍♂️

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yea I'm here for brains, my zombie nose told me there was some yummy ones around here 🙂

[bobalife]

Lmao did this zombie found some yummy brains?

[valentina4eva]

thanksss!! @ChicoFromThe305 i will do my best😅😅

also why are u a zombie🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️ should i be scared🤔😱😱

[ChicoFromThe305]

Missy boba, no not any I can eat 😔

And nope valentina I can't eat yours cause the world needs your existance, although yours does smell like fillet mignon 🙂

[Cutegirl06]

I stop comparing myself to other people. When you compare yourself with other people your not being fair to yourself. I mean everyone is so different. I see kids at school that think they are dumb compared with other kids that learn faster. I mean who cares about how quickly a person can learn? I for one don't like being grouped into what everyone else says is normal or not. I just was giving an example when I mentioned learning. It could be anything. There is always someone that can do something you do better than you do. Does that mean you're less of a person because of that? Of course not!! I just do me and if people don't like who I am not my problem.

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

Ok so there's something you should ask yourself. Do these low self-esteem days happen often or are they rare?

Once you answer that, you have half of the solution figured out. If these days happen often, then the solution to your self-esteem challenge is to materialize the thoughts that are the inner critic in your head. I can also explain details in PM.

The process takes time. But be patient.


If these days don't happen often, it's all about taking care of yourself and treating yourself to something. Do something that reafirms how good you are at something or your values. Do something that is important to you :)

[valentina4eva]

nowadays they happen more and more often😵‍💫😵‍💫 they used to nvr happen at all thooo😵

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

Do you know how to materialize or objectify your thoughts?

[valentina4eva]

noooo im not sure i’ve heard this term b4🤔🤔

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

Can we PM? This requires further explanation 😂

[valentina4eva]

okie😊

[TalkWithoutSpeaking]

You'll have to follow me back 😂

[NathanDavis]

this is why I stopped crushing on people... after I left middle-school

to feel myself entitled to any possible chance without actually making myself worth of such chance nor attempting anything substantial at all was one of the lessons I learned as a kid, to NOT do as an adult

[valentina4eva]

maybe i need to go back to middle school then😵‍💫😵‍💫😅

[NathanDavis]

I would... he had real winters back then

[ilistengood]

he's obviously a flaming homosexual , im sure you had to feel tilted at that point , but before you really dwell on all your short comings , a couple considerations to ponder, is it possible that the battery in his hearing aid had died. Perhaps he's a surgeon, been called in to save a small child, , is English his first language? Maybe he's extremely shy?
If none of those help , next time try "HEY , YOU , " If he looks then i asdume you can take it from there? If none of these help , i have more ideas for you, but seriously not to sound cliche , but sounds like its totally his loss. have more.

[Anonymous]

First of all I’m sorry to hear that. You sure he heard you say bye? Maybe he didn’t. But too even if he didn’t the fact that you’ve talked to him a few times then he just ignores you seems odd. Have you always been this way w men as far as your confidence? Or just like this in general w your overall life?

[valentina4eva]

yaaa he did hear me, but just blew straight past me😵😵 yes i thought it was odd like sumtimes he seems into me and then sumtimes im invisible☹️🫥🫥 yes tbh i prolly have always lacked confidence w men even tho everyone tells me i should have it easy idkkkk🥺🥺

[Opinion Owner]

I can see why people say you should have it easy based on your looks. But that isn’t always true. Does he know you like him? Maybe he’s not interested? I don’t know I’m not him. Maybe he’s playing a stupid game, but ignoring you maybe he’s thinking you’ll like him more. Maybe he’s not giving you too much attention as we men are told sometimes.

[valentina4eva]

i thought he would know i was interested, i feel like i have given him signals and we have flirted b4 but now idek😕 he might just not be interested like u say and im just reading into it☹️

why would he not pay me attention if he actually was interested? this is what men are told?😵‍💫😵‍💫 is he expecting *me* to chase *him*?😵😵😅

[Opinion Owner]

Yes he may not be interested. When you say you two flirted exactly what was said? Because a lot of times women will say a man is flirting w a girl when he’s just having a conversation. But because they’re both laughing, they talk a lot, joke around, a lot of women will see it as he’s flirting w her. When in reality he just gets a long w her. Yes sometimes we’re told as well as realize when you chase a girl too much it turned her off sometimes.

[kellytheman]

Get a makeover, but some new dresses or workout clothes that makes you feel and look sexy, maybe a new haircut. I think if you do that you feel better about yourself and that will boost your self esteem and confidence and some guys at the gym will be attracted to you.

[valentina4eva]

good advice thanksss!!😊

[kellytheman]

You probably don’t have to do nothing thoug it’s just wasn’t meant to with that guy and maybe a better guy will be attracted to you.

[valentina4eva]

thank uu @kellytheman i hope soooo!!😊 ig i need to put out that energy✨✨

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Girl just talk to another guy. How is that so hard?

He's just a gym crush. Get a new gym crush 😂

Don't completely ignore him. If he says "hi" then say "hi". Be polite but don't make a big deal about it if he doesn't either. Just start talking to some other gym guy.

[valentina4eva]

i am ridiculous i knowwwww😵😵 it’s just rare for me to be into some1 these days😵‍💫

[valentina4eva]

u are right thooo

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Yeah but you don't even know him that well plus you haven't even been on a date with him... has he even flirted with you?

[valentina4eva]

i feel like he flirts w me half of the times i see him there and then doesn’t even notice me the other half of the times😂😂😵‍💫😵‍💫 sooo mixed signals ig

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Oh some people just flirt for fun and aren't interested in the person romantically.
It's weird that he ignores you though.

[valentina4eva]

u are prolly right and i was prolly just reading in to it😳😳 so i should just act uninterested next time i see him ig?

[PrettyCrumblBb]

Well you said he flirts with another girl? Maybe he's a flirt?

[Anonymous]

In your bedroom, place a picture of none other than myself, your Lord and Savior. Every morning, as the sun's rays filter through the window, casting a glow upon my glorious portrait, stand there naked, and bind yourself in ropes. Put a pile of old gym clothes and moldy cheese at your feet, and as the smell fills the air, remind yourself that you are nothing but a worthless slave. A worthless, disobedient, good-for-nothing slave who blocked her Master on social media. Now, flog yourself, and with each lash of the whip, don't feel pain but a sense of pride, as if the sting of the leather is a testament to your dedication to doing anything for your Master, including saying romantic things to him while you pinch your nipples.

[Opinion Owner]

@valentina4eva My slave, follow me back. Can't you see you have robbed Master of his property? Are you still searching for your soul mate, as we discussed before? No wonder you are in despair -- your life is darkness without me. Give your soul to me, and I will rid you of these ridiculous delusions.

[valentina4eva]

sozz not following anyone named after pig droppings🤮🤮

[Opinion Owner]

@valentina4eva I have debased my username in order to reclaim my property. I am the reincarnation of your Lord and Master. Follow me, or continue to suffer.

[Opinion Owner]

@valentina4eva And as I explained to you in the past, I take care of my property. Obviously, you are not and cannot be trusted to own such a valuable slave.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I'm so sorry that happened to you, but just keep doing you. And if he can't see you, then that's his loss. You seem like a real sweetheart. Don't ever change. Any man that's really for you. Is going to notice you immediately. So hold you head up beautiful. Tomorrow will be a better day

[valentina4eva]

thank u @Bklynbadboy12 i appreciate it!!☺️☺️ here’s to tomorrow being a better day ✨

[KittygosMeoWW]

I usually do my makeup and hair lol and get out of the house. Works every time even if it’s just the guy at the corner waving a sign hitting on me 🤣 I’ll take it.

[valentina4eva]

😂🤣😂 maybe i need to find one of those sign waving guys for myself then!! 👀

[sawno]

Eva you look beautiful in your avatar in the way where I can see that you look beautiful without make-up to. I hope that helps, because you are really pretty and deserve to know that.

[valentina4eva]

thank u @sawno 😳🥰

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't have self esteem problems. The reason for this is because I don't base my value on what other people think of me, and I don't really concern myself with my worth in general.

I just think about things I enjoy, and what I want or already have, or things I'm interested in. I'm not an inwardly focused person, and I don't crave anyone's approval or acceptence, and instead scoff at it.

[HawkPerception]

Maybe it's the fact that you're 14 that he won't make a move on you. You're technically illegal right now 😂

[valentina4eva]

😂🤣😂 im not actually 14 thoooo!! promiseee

[Still-alive]

If it were me id make extra sure to talk to you before i left heh 😏

ahem anyways try to focus on your hobbies. Usually works for me. Id play a video game or paint my tabletop miniatures. Go nerds lol.

[valentina4eva]

he just completely brushed me off!!😭😭

ig I don’t really have enough hobbies since moving🤔🤔 how do u find hobbies that u are into? not sure i am a gaming girl😅😅

[Still-alive]

Just be open minded and try something new out even if you have a passing interest in it. Ya never know, it might just be the thing for you hehe.

[valentina4eva]

so if i find a new hobby it will solve my self esteem issues and my love life?🤔🤔 it’s just that easy right?😅😅

[Still-alive]

Well it works for me by taking my mind off that negative stuff. I won’t say it’ll go away completely but it helps.

Something else you can do is hang out with friends or family too.

[valentina4eva]

sozz i was jk but i shouldn’t be playing when it was actually a srs question🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ thanksss for ur advice💜 ig i need to start googling interesting hobbies!!🧐🧐

i recently moved to a new place so i don’t have enough rl friends here so this is prolly exacerbating my issuesss😵😵

[Still-alive]

Pssh move here next time. Ill keep ya busy hehe.

Actually don’t move here its too expensive lol

[valentina4eva]

don’t u live in cali?🤔 that must be an amazing place to live!!😄🌲🌳🌊

lemme wait and see who wins the election first… 😅😅😵‍💫

[Still-alive]

lol yeah. I think trump will lose but you never know i guess

[valentina4eva]

i hope soooo😦🤞🏻🤞🏻

[sheikalana]

I get ready even if I don't go anywhere. Do my hair and makeup and seeing me a bit more composed helps.

[valentina4eva]

💅💄💃🏻 good advice thankss

[sheikalana]

Most welcome!

[WonderingManII]

I know this an old post. I'm sure if you haven't got someone yet, you soon will. You are very pretty.

[valentina4eva]

aww tyyy @WonderingManII 😊😊

[Mark987]

Spend at least 10 mins telling myself that I should be thankful for everything. Tomorrow will be a better day.

[valentina4eva]

u are right!! thanksss

[itsclearlynicholas]

Easy. I remind myself I'm single I'm healthy, I'm happy, I have a room, I am good, I have some money, I have good things, and I have less than bad things :) and I still have my remaining youthfulness (I'm 29) lol 😂😆

[KrakenAttackin]

Self esteem cannot be based on other people's interactions with you. Self esteem has to come from within.

[valentina4eva]

but how do i learn self esteem from within?😵‍💫

[KrakenAttackin]

That's not an easy question and I don't have an overall answer. Everyone has to find their own source of self esteem. For some it's work, or children, or creativity, etc. If you are fundamentally a good person, who works hard, and respects others, you have every right to feel good about yourself.

[KrakenAttackin]

Additionally, self esteem should NOT come from dressing like a whore, being promiscuous, based upon physical characteristics; as they are like using drugs to feel good, it's a false God.

[Danny_dan92]

You’re pretty af I don't know why you have low self esteem

[valentina4eva]

aw thanks @Danny_dan92 ☺️💜 i used to have confidence, i guess I've just lost it recently😅😵‍💫😵‍💫

[Danny_dan92]

You’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it

[Yannae]

I'm seeing my girlfriend after work so that raises my self esteem. Yesterday was not a productive day so I'll make it up by doing something that I know will do me good but I don't want to do. Once I completed the task, I'll feel amazing.

[jahaims]

I base my self esteem on who I am as a person so I don't have bad self esteem days

[valentina4eva]

how do i learn this lol

[RMSTitanic]

I will say you're attractive and kind every single day for 365 days, 95 years

[RMSTitanic]

@valentina4eva how's your self-esteem now?

[valentina4eva]

@RMSTitanic awww tanksss🥰

[valentina4eva]

it depends on the day lol😅😅 sumtimes good sumtimes nonexistent😅😂
and with respect to this particular scenario, i haven’t seen the particular guy for a miiiiiiiiillion years so i guess i don’t know if i have improved or not😵‍💫😵‍💫

[Sunnydaylive]

Pamper yourself!!

Do you have ways of doing that or do you want some tips? :)

[valentina4eva]

what are ur fav ways to pamper urself?😊😊

[Sunnydaylive]

A bath, snacks, a glass of wine (in the evening) 😊
You?

[valentina4eva]

yasss i am also partial to the wine & bath!! alsooo retail therapy too😅😄😄

[Sunnydaylive]

Please pm me!! I want to talk more with you! 😊😄😂

[valentina4eva]

okieeee😊😊

[Sonorous]

I go to the mirror, take my shirt off, & flex.

[valentina4eva]

not sure this strategy would work for me😂😂

[Sonorous]

My outfit is very reflective just wanting to throw that out there

[Sonorous]

No prob

[IloveWinters]

I understand your situation. I think this is more of learning curve where we can base our self esteem only on our thinking and our perspectives to avoid the impact of unfavorable situations

[DryGermanGuy]

I go out and kill a huge Orc!

[valentina4eva]

😂🤣😂

[valentina4eva]

not sure im equipped for orc slaying!!😲😲

[TheTimeToThink]

- think about the good things you've done in your life

- look at your progress, not achievements

- do something you like

- eat healthy

- take a nap

[NewUser22]

I’m sure you are hard not to notice at the gym. Message me… I wanna tell you who I am 😂

[NewUser22]

Message me gorgeous 😊 I’ve missed you a little bit.

[Underthemasked]

Face your fear and where your insecurity is.

Take care of yourself physically and mentally

[ThunderWings]

Whisper to myself "You've got this, you can do this!"

[Anonymous]

I would have sex with someone

[yusufonay]

can you do it with me

[valentina4eva]

this is my normal coping strategy😬😬 but i want to find someone that i actually like and find something long term😅 i can only ever find the short term flings and nvr the real thing🥺🤷🏻‍♀️

[yusufonay]

We can live with you for a long time, I wouldn't get bored with someone too much, but it's still your decision.

[Opinion Owner]

@yusufonay You look like a thumb so leave us alone

[yusufonay]

I don't know you

[Whitewulf]

Alcohol

[valentina4eva]

prolly not the right coping strategy for meee😂😂

[tfan1]

Personally when I am down…I masturbate 👍🙂

[sirderpsalot123]

I just accept that I'm shit lol

[bobalife]

Thumbs down, why you awakeee? Lol.

Typo Error: the shit*
You have a girlfriend anyways, so sthap it.

[sirderpsalot123]

I was playing like shit and I can't sleep 😫

You're right lol this is just how my brain works on a bad day

[bobalife]

Play some music :)

Me: Be nice derpy brain, be nice~
Derpy brain: kay *nice brain mode on*

Problem solved 🫠

[bobalife]

Your brain has been reactivated 😆

[bobalife]

Reprogram * Lol

[sirderpsalot123]

Hahaha thanks buddy

Ok I'm going to bed for real this time lol goodnight

[bobalife]

Oh, I thought today was last day of our friendship since you demanded to be blocked 😶

Get well. Farewell. Goodnight, old friend Lol.

[sirderpsalot123]

No lol you just said it was and I don't simp... despite constantly being called a simp on here lol

[bobalife]

You’re known to be a simp….. for forced friendships & blocked friendships? Got it 😶 well you def wasn’t for real going to bed this time 😂

[sirderpsalot123]

I guess so lol

💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

[bobalife]

Lmaoooo! How do you simp here? Is your girlfriend on gag too?

😯 why you pretending 💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

[sirderpsalot123]

To be fair. I've also been called a misogynist a few times. At this point I am whatever people say I am lol

💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

(We are probably annoying the asker so I'm really going this time... lol)

[bobalife]

Uh oh, maybe we can’t be forced Friends after all… lol

I asked how you simp to give us an overview of your simping skillset for your audience (asker, I, & the rest of gag peeps). But sorry asker for spams, hope it lighten you abit 🥹

Goodbye, old forced friend who demanded to be blocked 🙊😂🚫🚫🚫

[sirderpsalot123]

This friendship is confusing lol

[bobalife]

Friendship status: “It’s complicated”

[dolemite58]

I burn ants with a magnifying glass

[darkforcebooty]

Story of my life!
I need to know

[chilldude33]

teena nooo 😭😂

[valentina4eva]

not my name🙄🙄