She's ignoring me and avoiding eye contact?

Ok so there's this girl at my work who we'll nickname Kate

here's some background info

-couple months ago she asked me out. I politely declined. she was a bit upset for about a week before "finding a new guy to chase"

-she used to say hi to me first and would listen and carry on any conversation I made with her

Now fast forward a few months...

when I talk to her she avoids eye contact, and doesn't talk to me first. I always have to intitiate conversation first.

The thing is she's like one of the nicest girls I know, she would NEVER do this on purpose to be mean or give off signs that she's not interested.

What intrigues me is when I ask her "whats with the ignoring and avoiding eye contact?" she smiles and looks away. as my friend described it's as if she's "in the middle of whether to be nice or mean"

i am planning on asking her out(after a change of heart) to get a definite answer on what she feels about me. but what do you think GaG?

  • Interested
    Vote A
  • Not interested
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm in a slightly similar situation, and I've seen this behavior before as well. Not going to answer your poll at the moment, because it's really hard to say...but I want to give you one important bit of wisdom...

    You should NEVER assume a girl is too nice to play mind games. So-called "nice girls" are never as nice as they seem. She very well could be doing this on purpose, and even if she isn't, it doesn't make a big difference.

    In fact, I would assume that there's some kind of instinct in most females that causes them to act this way, and a girl "being nice" is when she's consciously defying that instinct.

    Also, the fact that she immediately jumped to chasing a new guy means that she wasn't that serious about you. Admittedly, she does have some legitimate reason to be wary of you, because it sounds like you're still not entirely sure how you feel about her. Not that you should be!

    Do you want to find out how nice she is? A simple test would be to leave her a note asking if she has time to get coffee with you on a particular day (where you suspect she'd have time). The reason I suggest leaving a note (or sending an email) rather than asking in person is that it gives her time to think of how she wants to respond. You're being nice to her by giving her the opportunity to come up with a lame excuse for saying no. Will she in turn be nice to you by being straight-forward?

    I don't think you should go out of your way to suddenly prove yourself to her, or feel guilty for anything you've done. Everyone's pride gets a little hurt when they feel they've been rejected, but if you didn't do anything else wrong, and she now dislikes you because of that, then she's no where near as nice or mature as you think she is. If she is a nice person, she should take whatever olive branch you're willing to give her. You don't want to suddenly come off as desperate. Just play it casual, and let her know you're willing to give her a chance, if she'll give you a chance.

    • I do agree that not one girl can be "too nice" but I guess that really is different from girl to girl. regardless I'm gonna try and make a move as you said and see how she responds. but ill probably do it in person... but I'm not gonna lie I'm not too good at showing interest, which is sad for the alphamale lol

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Let this girl alone. You rejected her and she is trying to move on. Jackass


What Guys Said 5

  • haha sounds to me that she will say yes to the coffee hehehe.

    just becuase of that smile she gave after you letting her know she was being mean indicates that she is still interested in you. she might still be feeling bit weird for the rejection but looks like she is on to another guy to distract her self or make you see your an ass for not going out with her remember if she didn't tell you how she exaclty felt for the rejection you will never know what the outcome will will be.

    you can't assume things ... its way better to be direct that's why we are humans becuase we have languages and can communicate y so many ways :D

  • isn't it obvious? you crushed that poor girl's ego and you expect her to be self-confident when she's around you? you rejected her yet you expect her to act normally when she's around you? asking a guy out is a very brave thing to do. usually guys are supposed to do that. you rejected her --> no wonder she doesn't initiate conversations/is too shy to make eye contact. by the way, why did you change your mind? did she become more attractive or what?

    • Don't get me wrong. it is kinda obvious. But you also have to know that she moved on and is currently "going for another guy" and its been 3 months. Surely she can't still be mad/depressed after something that happened 3 months? that's why I asked this question. Then again maybe she COULD be. lol thoughts?

    • lol I have no idea. I guess she TRIES to move on. she's probably still very attracted to you but is currently going for another guy to rebuild her ego/to get the attention she needs. if you ask her out, she'll most likely be the happiest girl on earth. lol. I still don't get why you changed your mind. do you want to ask her out because you feel sorry for her? lol...

    • back then when she was attracted to me she would talk to me first and yatta yatta... now I just don't get why she smiles and looks away when I ask her "why are you being mean to me?"(in a playful tone) these days ya know? who knows, maybe your right and she's still attracted to me. and why do I like her now? well I didn't really notice her personality at first, lets leave it at that lol

  • Tbh, as nice as you make her out to be, if she's so easily finding a new guy to chase I think she might just want the attention and since you didn't give it to her at first maybe she's playing coy. Did she used to always look at you and not ignore you a couple of months ago? I don't know though. Kinda hard to tell without knowing her for sure.

  • Dude you rejected her. She's gonna think about that every time she sees you. So she's probably going to avoid eye contact and not want to hold conversations with you.

    If you ask her out, she'll probably reject you to get even.

  • She is likely avoiding you because it can be painful to like someone, that doesn't like you back.