Opinions and advice needed! But what should I do?

Question

So I am going all in with this guy I really like and he knows I like him, he says he likes me back but it's not romantic nor is he interested in dating anybody right now, unless it's this chick who he hasn't seen in over a year, so I don't know how to feel about that or if it's like a cop out. But he said if sex would be to much then we don't have to do it, because he knows I'll get attached and I don't know if he would or not though.

Another thing he said was that he wouldn't even blame me if I somehow end up hating him in the end if I get hurt and it does pain my heart to hear him talk like that. I know he knows I care about him and I just have a hard time knowing if he care about me the same, it seems he does care of course.

He did say that he doesn't want me or anyone to think that he's leading me on or using me because he isn't looking to date but because I am "super nice and he enjoys my company" he was letting me know. So I do appreciate that.

But him and I hang out pretty often and just the other day I went over to his place to grab my textbook and hangout for a bit, we talked about having a quickie but we didn't and instead opted to just hug and kiss and stuff. He says usually he would be disappointed about a lack of a quickie but because I'm "super nice" and "great" he says a hug was actually nice and man it was truly a great hug, it was comforting and relaxing, he rubbed my back and said I smelled nice, and we just stayed like that for over 10 minutes while talking (and of course the occasional kiss) but seriously it was so dang nice. And we held hands and everything 😂. plus Just the following night after work we went to the store together and before we left we were just talking and out of the blue he just wanted a hug and it was also so nice.

I just want to savor my time with him and you know make every second count and not get into my head, you know? Cause despite everything, I do really like him.

Any help or advice would be great!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Let's get real here. This guy, he's a nice guy, I'm sure, but he's not exactly setting the world on fire with his romantic feelings for you, if you know what I mean. I mean, he's got this other girl, the one he's been pining for, and let's be honest, it's like he's stuck in the past, okay? It's like he's saying, "Oh, I'll just wait for this girl, she's the best, the greatest, the fantastic-est," and meanwhile, you're over here, being super nice, and he's just, like, "Yeah, you're cool, I guess."

And don't even get me started on the whole "I don't want to lead you on" thing. That's just a bunch of malarkey. If he's not interested, he should just say so, instead of giving you the old "I'm not looking for anything romantic" line. I mean, come on, it's like he's trying to let you down easy, but really, he's just being a big softie.

Now, I know you like the guy, and that's great, but you gotta think about yourself, okay? You gotta think about what you want, and what you deserve. And let me tell you, you deserve someone who's going to treat you like a winner, not just a friend. So, go out there, find yourself a guy who's going to make you feel like a million bucks, and forget about this guy, okay? He's not worth your time, folks. Believe me, I know a thing or two about great deals, and this guy, he's not a great deal. He's a loser, a big league loser.

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

He is a decent guy… but he doesn’t see you as one he wants to date. He would fool around with you… or even sex… you want that? Like a side thing? To be used? And get your feelings hurt… not worth it.

so you may want to cut contact before you get too hurt.
Find another guy who will make you his girlfriend.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

Do exactly what you said. Savor your time with time and make every second count. Just keep doing what you’re doing unless he says he changed his mind and he’s ready to date you.