What should I do? need some advise?

[Anonymous]

Long story short : there’s this guy I’ve been closed to for 5/6 years. We class each other as friends but act more, do what couples do. We do have arguments like everyone else. So I’ve found out that he’s been lying to me which he explained why he’s done it and apologised. That’s done& sorted.
It’s been 2/3 weeks and we seem to still talk but there’s like no effort. Not being bothered or anything. Seems like we are drifting apart.. which just upsets me. I understand we both need to do what we wanna do etc don’t need to text constantly or anything. Last night I did explain to him how I feel& he said that it seems nice not having to worry to text back or see me bla bla, sometimes it got too much of both of us tbf. So it’s nice to give each other space, I just feel like he doesn’t care and he ain’t bothered. Seems like for him it’s easy to forget and just act normal when that’s not the case. If we drifting apart already maybe it’s easier to walk separate ways.. I just wish all this lies didn’t happen at the beginning as nothing like this would have happened. I don’t even know what I should say. If he sounds not bothered then I’m not going to make an effort because why should i? :( it works both ways.. shall I just leave it block him on everything and try to move on? Or?

[WindAtMyBack]

It's hard to understand just what is going on between you two. It sounds like a romantic relationship that's not a romantic relationship.

Whatever it is, it sounds like you want more than he does. You didn't say what he was lying about, or why he was lying. But whatever discussion you had seems to have put some distance between you.

You didn't say if you were sleeping together. Maybe it was friends with benefits for him, but it was more to you.

If this had been something short term, I think I'd say to just move on. But after 5-6 years, maybe you should give it some time to see what direction it goes.

On the other hand, you've gone 5-6 years just calling it friends. Is that really what you want? Do you ever want to have a "real" relationship with somebody? Do you want a lifelong partner?

If you want a real relationship with someone, then you are wasting your time with this guy - UNLESS he is interested in a real relationship also - which it sounds like he isn't. Being half way in between is going nowhere. Either it's a romantic relationship or it's not.

[Asker]

It’s very hard to understand any of this. We act like we are in relationship, class as friends but no label. Wasn’t even me that put this distance between us. It was him because he thinks if we carry on we be in square one like we were which was constantly messaging, seeing each other etc..
what got me thinking was when last night I’ve asked him if he’s happy of the way we were, like if it better and he said at first was nice not to worry and constantly message see etc but then it wasn’t which I don’t even know what that means. Yes we did sleep with each other. Like I said we act like in relationship and friendship but no label.. which is mad for all these years

[Asker]

I obviously want more, I want him back in life like I used to have. Have my bestfriend back like it was. But sometimes feels like I’m the only one in some kinda battle..

[DishLady]

You're right... it does work both ways. Just let it be. I wouldn't say to "block" unless you really just don't want to hear about him ever again. I'd just forget his number and unfollow all his social media.

[Asker]

I’ve unfollowed all his socials. I feel like I’d hurt more if I had him on everything. Like a constant reminder yano. I just don’t have a clue what to do or what would happen next when I wish I did might be easier

[DishLady]

You're smart. You're doing the right thing. It's hard at first, but you'll get past this and be fine.

[spartan55]

Doesn't sound like any friendship I've ever heard of.

[Asker]

Tell me about it, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Romantic friendship if that even exists:/

[spartan55]

Lol... no, don't think so