Girls, Should a confident woman make the first move on a shy guy if he’s clearly too afraid to approach her?

[Anonymous]

Let’s say she’s interested in a guy, but he’s super shy and never makes the first move. He might like her too but is too afraid to act. Should she take the initiative, or is it still “the guy’s job”?

Yes, because nothing will ever happen if she doesn't.

No, the guy should always make the first move.

No, because if he’s not confident enough, he’s not worth her effort.

No, because she’d rather complain about no good men than actually do something.

[HollyK21]

His perception of her is that she’s confident, he doesn't know that she is or even if she likes him back. The only persons feelings he can be sure of are his own yet he sits back and does nothing, blaming it on shyness. He wasn't too shy to draw her attention to himself. He wasn’t too shy to do anything suggestive towards her or to go along with actions that make him feel like there’s hope between them. So why be too shy now? Why place this expectation upon her to be the brave one and act first when he doesn’t know if she likes him and he’s just assuming she’s such a bold person?

[HollyK21]

&& to be clear, I absolutely agree with women making the first move, nothing wrong with that. I’m mainly addressing the nuance of this scenario and the expectation that comes with it.

[Asker]

Yes, But that expectation isn't on her is it?

It's on the Man isn't it?

[HollyK21]

That’s quite the contradiction since you’re currently trying to put that expectation on her? Look dude, I came here specifically addressing the context of this post and in the scenario you shared, you asked if this confident woman should approach this shy guy first. That is what I spoke on. That is what Abby spoke on. Yet you reply to our comments trying to pivot into discussions about gender roles or what percentage of women does what you clearly don’t think that we do. It’s disingenuous. It’s deceitful and it’s unwarranted.

[KateCrombie]

Yes, if she is interested too then there’s no harm approching as a woman

[Abbycado]

If she is interested, sure.

[Asker]

What percentage of Women do you think are willing to do that?

[Abbycado]

Do you think I carry around a pen and paper and take stats? Ffs.

[Asker]

Sorry, I'm just asking what think?

[Anonymous]

It isn't mandated

[Asker]

Not for women, but for men it’s expected or we get ignored.