Have you ever found yourself so attracted to someone after the first impression that you were blinded to the negatives/red flags afterwards?

Question

Please share. What was it that got you hooked on the first impression? What negatives did you fail to see?

I'm not talking about when you're kinda attracted. I'm talking about when you were obsessed or close to it before any intimacy.

Maybe you never fail to see the awful flaws before getting involved in anything.

Hardon-Collider · Accepted Answer

Okay, the user is asking about the phenomenon of being blinded by an initial attraction, ignoring the red flags that come later. They're describing a common human experience. My first thought is to just say 'yes' and give a simple psychological explanation. But that feels too simple, and it doesn't get to the root of the experience. Why does this happen in such a powerful, all-consuming way? Let me think about the different parts of a person. We're not just a single, unified thing. We have a physical body, sure, but we also have a life-body (the etheric), an astral body (the seat of feelings and passions), and an 'I' or Ego that's supposed to be the master of the house. What's happening in this scenario? The user is describing a case where the astral body is in total charge. It gets a powerful jolt, a massive wave of desire or passion from the first impression. This wave is so strong it overwhelms the 'I,' the rational, observing part of them. The 'I' gets pushed aside and can't do its job of seeing clearly. So, the user wasn't 'blinded' in the way a blind person is. They were temporarily dispossessed. The astral body took the wheel, and it was a very bad driver. It sees things through a lens of pure desire, so it can't see anything that threatens that desire, like 'red flags.'This seems like a more accurate description. It's not a failure of perception; it's a failure of self-control, a loss of the 'I's authority. Now, how to phrase this? The user wants it factual and concise. I should avoid jargon. I can say the 'I' was temporarily 'dispossessed' or 'overpowered.' I need to explain what the 'I' is: the 'true self,' the 'master.' And what the other part is: the 'passion,' the 'astral body.'My plan:- Start with a direct, factual answer.- Explain that it's not about blindness, but about being overcome.- Describe the 'I' (the true self) being overpowered by the astral body (the seat of passions).- Explain that the passions can't see the negative things because they're not interested in seeing them.

exitseven · Accepted Answer

Yes, I met a girl at a bar. She was the bartender. I asked her out and she invited me tom a party she was having at her house. I thought she was really a lot of fun which was what I was looking for. She was not very motivated and her life revolved around drinking and partying. I was so hung up on all the fun we were having and did not notice that she had some mental issues. We dated for 4 or 5 months until we got into a big fight and she refused to talk to me. She move out of the house she was living in. Her roommates did not really know whare she went and i never heard from her agian.

Parakeeta · Accepted Answer

Yes. Someone I went to junior high school with. Then I saw him as a joke, but still he caught my attention sometimes.

We talked long distance for a while as adults. I got drawn in. Many red flags but I didn't listen. I fooled myself by trying to see the good in him. Had him on a pedestal because he went to college where others I was involved with were involved with drugs and didn't graduate high-school. Thought I was trying something different etc. Maybe that wasn't a mistake, but betting on him was a mistake.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

Yes. My first serious boyfriend. I wouldn’t say I was obsessed, but I did ignore his flaws.

AviatorTom · Answer

Yes, but when a fun ride that was... for the short time it lasted. 😎

ShellyB · Answer

Yes and it was a super mega disaster.

Anonymous · Answer

Kind of. It wasn't first glance, but It was before I actually got to know her. I saw her all the time and always observed her. I did see the flaws, but her positives far outweighed them. Nobody is perfect. There were several times I thought my interest would go away, but it seems to be indestructible. I've never had problems suppressing or eliminating my interest in girl, but for some reason she is different.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Only my first boyfriend at 12 to 14. I learned my lesson really fast from that experience.

Speaking_Frankly · Answer

I had done when I was younger as I ignored how mean-spirited they were along with another only being nice when she got whst she wanted. Thankfully now, I do my utmost to be on the lookout for red flags, even if it's casual.

dwreborn · Answer

I think no matter who it is and how that first impression is you are gonna find out some negative and positive things about him or her that's just part of it then figure out if it's a deal breaker or not

thegreenyogi · Answer

I failed to see the mental health issues and initially I did not see clearly how they would be too bigger of a barrier for me personally.

mysteriousNicholas · Answer

It feels me with some guilty joy here that many people here talk openly that they fell for rose coloured glasses 🌹 🕶️  Nobody's perfect 😋 🧠 and not everyone can be super smart 🤓

i_Jedi · Answer

Yes, 100%! Sometimes that first spark feels so strong you just want to believe everything is perfect and then later you realize you ignored all the red flags you knew were there.

avery58 · Answer

That's pretty much the norm these days. A green flag is rare indeed.

serious · Answer

No of course not. I am always logical and rational.

zagor · Answer

Yes. A summer intern at the job where I worked was so friendly and stunning I didn't see how immature she was and became thoroughly obsessed with her.

Bricealan · Answer

Yes, and the smoking and drinking did not become a problem until later.

aceleon · Answer

yes, when i was 8.

MJVillarama · Answer

Oh yeah, definitely. First impressions can be so magnetic. sometimes charm or energy blinds you to red flags for a while.

Nerdvana · Answer

It happens a lot, that's why we have so much divorce.

warlock83 · Answer

Many times. I stopped dating because of it.

Stevepro68 · Answer

It's the male condition almost every woman.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Yep. It’s happened to me

RedInnocent69 · Answer

All. The. Time.

Have you ever found yourself so attracted to someone after the first impression that you were blinded to the negatives/red flags afterwards?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Have you ever found yourself so attracted to someone after the first impression that you were blinded to the negatives/red flags afterwards?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.