If someone openly flirts with your partner, how should you respond?

[Anonymous]

(My man handled it with grace, don’t worry 😂)

Okay, so a girl saw us walking in holding hands, and then a few minutes later my man was playing pool while I was sitting across the table next to him. She walked up to him & tapped him on the shoulder & asked in a flirty voice if he went to a certain school because of the sweatshirt he was wearing, and he firmly said, “No.” and she said oh and quickly walked away.

Afterward, I walked over and he put his arms around me. My brother said he thought I would’ve walked up and made it clear that I’m his so she wouldn’t get the wrong idea. But I was thinking, I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m insecure about my relationship or that I don’t trust my man.

If there’s a next time, though, I might just walk up and put my arms around him, not because I’m worried, but because some people can be unpredictable and I’d rather make the situation clear.

[HollyK21]

I guess I missed the part where she openly flirted? All she did was ask a question then leave when he said no. A very generic, practical question, mind you.

[Asker]

She saw us together many times and when up to him when he was alone for a few minutes. You can put things together.

[HollyK21]

Not trying to play devils advocate but I do think it’s fair to speculate rather than lean into rightness, and I do feel as though there’s the potential that you misread the situation. I mean, you were sitting right there, after you claim she’d already seen you plenty of times, you don’t think it’d be overly emboldened for her to go up and flirt? Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand where you’re coming from. I have been to tons of bars, pool halls, lounges, etc with my now-fiancé who is a 6’6 athlete, does well for himself and is handsome. You would be amazed at some of the things I’ve seen women try to slickly pull off the moment I go to the bathroom or step away for a phone call, too often I come back and a woman is trying to be in his face. I get it. But I’ve also learned to differentiate what’s going on, and in a handful of these cases, they were innocent. Those women are usually asking about his sport, asking if he plays for a team and mistaking him for another player. I’ve learned to just essentially tune it out because I don’t have to worry about him doing the right thing, but in the times I have observed this happen, I can definitely tell the difference.

[HollyK21]

Would you consider him a catch? Does he usually have women trying to get at him?

[Asker]

to add more detail there was a corner so she didn’t see me until she walked away.

[Nikki1989]

Nothing wrong with that. Just ignore it. My husband does.

[Asker]

huh ignore what? he didn’t flirt back

[Anonymous]

I'd probably just do the same. I wouldn't make a scene unless it was a response to something absurd.

[DryGermanGuy]

I’ll give you one worse: Getting flirted with while her partner is close by within earshot. 😵‍💫🥴

[Asker]

yikes sorry. that’s rude. how was the situation handled if you don’t mind me asking?

[DryGermanGuy]

First: The guy got aggressive and dragged the girl away. Relationship failed.
Second: The guy repeatedly pestered her asking about me, they broke up months later.
Third: No reaction. He was sitting there calmly, while I wanted to disappear.

[canamlusciouslad73]

Ask your partner if they knew they were being eyed.

[Asker]

He said no, but he handled it perfectly with a firm No & when i came up he put his arm around me by her so i believe him.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I cannot predict what happens but it's going to be something bad or terribly bad!

[jahaims]

I don't have to do anything. My wife would shut it down in some funny ass way.

[Laurenvol]

It can be handled without me.