Is it ever okay to flirt with someone that you know is in a relationship?

Question

Whether it's in real life or on the internet, can that sort of thing ever really be harmless?

Dongtai · Accepted Answer

Only if you have absolutely no intentions on taking it anywhere and rejecting any ideas that they give about taking it somewhere.

I’ll approach and flirt with married women for practice when I see girls who aren’t married. Gorgeous girls can be intimidating so I don’t let my game rust. If I know I’m going to get rejected, the pressure is much lowers and I can just focus on good conversation and flirting.

But I always point out the ring at the end of the conversation. When I ask for the number and she offers it, I’ll go “Oh wait. Sorry. I didn’t see the wedding ring.” After that I refuse the number no matter what’s said.

I say it’s fine as long as you don’t try to take it somewhere

Ripper_E · Accepted Answer

If you are single, you are technically doing nothing wrong because you aren't commited to anyone, unless you are religious or your morals prohibit it. The one in the wrong is the one in a relationship flirting or flirting back. There is no reason to flirt if you are in a relationship. If you are genuinely attracted to other people on more than just a physical level, then you need to rethink your relationship. If your partner is okay with flirting, then that's a different matter.

ElissaDido · Accepted Answer

No it's never OK in my book. This is something I don't understand in western culture. I don't understand how flirting can be seen so casually.
The aim of flirting is to get the sexual attention of someone else. It's the first step towards cheating and is extremely disrespectful to your husband /wife.
I know for a fact my father wouldn't tolerate it if my mom flirted with other men and my mother wouldn't toleratr it if my dad flirted with other women.

If you're in a committed relationship you shouldn't be sexually inviting people or asking for their sexual attention even if you don't do any sex, it's not a "joke".

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

No. Maybe I'm a realist, but why flirt with someone that's unattainable or already dating someone? It seems like a waste of time and energy to me. Not to mention misleading.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If you were in a relationship, would it be okay for someone else to flirt with your SO?

looneymalooney · Answer

honestly, if I look back at it, I flirted with taken girls because I did not know they were taken in the first place. I did it, they responded (or vice-versa) and the "game was on the way". And given the flirtatious "beginning" , we kept flirting.
I do not remember flirting with girls that I met and whom made it clear they have a boyfriend/husband. Or at least it wasn't me initiating in these cases and did not sustain/prolong it.
I believe I helped one girl get out of a very toxic relationship, but nothing happened between us, not even after it went bust for them as a couple. She ended up with some dude. And I'm ok with that. I just wanted sex anyway and I can get that easily. And I don't think she was the only one.

So the flirting is not really a problem, but maybe what takes us there and what we are looking to get out of it.
Maybe flirting helps some people realize what they are missing in their relationship or that they are not happy where they are in life, that a change is needed, that the grass is actually greener. In some cases they already made up their mind, but they just wait for a strong reason to step out of it, they need reassurance for that final leap.
Flirting is essentially a longing for attention, a sign that it's not completely alright and something needs to be done, one way or another.
Being with someone for years, you tend to overlook some things, put them in background and try to make it work yourself without discussing with the partner or simply try to ignore the issue, but left unsolved will create the cracks in your relationship, which will eventually make it crumble. Flirting just speeds up that process if that is the case OR save the relationship.
It's a complex thing, but I've seen both sides and yes I've seen "positives". For example, I know some girls in relationships with whom I was flirting heavily (from the start), turned to hardcore flirting and they ended up marrying their bfs. Nothing more happened between us than sharing a drink and the flirting. They seem happy now and I did step back to avoid any issues. Did not hear of any wrong moves outside their marriages. So maybe, that flirting was some sort of a test their relationships passed/survived.

Now I do not understand those getting physical while in a relationship. If you made up your mind to leave, do that first and then have fun, but don't drag your partner in a mess. Avoid complications, leave with your head up.
If you plan to stay in your relationship, but also want to have some extra physical fun on the side, then that is low.

I've met this girl lately and we hit it off flirting hard as I did not know she's with someone. And we kept going, but for me this seems to have gotten closest to having sex with someone already in a relationship. And I honestly can't tell if they are just swingers and accept this as part of who they are or if she is looking to cheat & lie on her partner with me.
And how should I bring this to discussion with her is another question.

Some people see the above as "well, they are going to cheat anyway, so why not have some fun, it's not your problem what happens afterwards", but my brain tells me otherwise and to stay cautious.

Nikidoll17 · Answer

IT'S NEVER OKAY! Firstly, you're disrespecting their relationship and affecting it in some way regardless of its small or if the person doesn't leave them for you. It's never harmless. Don't indulge in it and be that person who comes between two people. Because, it means you're interested in them so if they're allowing you to do so even if they aren't flirting back, it means they're giving you a window of opportunity. You're getting more attached to someone you can never have it makes no sense. Plus if you're into that person they're going to be flirting with you while they go home to their partner and love/sleep with them. So, you're gonna end up hurt cause you clearly have feelings. Even if you say that you wouldn't be jealous or hurt, you're only human and you will be. It's best not to take part in something like this and I always backed off when I'm into someone who's taken. I'd never want my partner to encourage something like that and so I'd never do it.

JoseyWales4 · Answer

I can’t speak for girls but for guys if a guy flirts than that means he’s interested. And by interested I mean he wants what pretty much every guy wants from a girl he finds attractive. And that’s even if he’s in a relationship. It’s like a weird programming in all guys we do it even when we don’t realize it. Flirt or be nice to attractive women. It’s all subconscious and built in our DNA. But to answer the question I don’t think it’s alright to flirt with somebody while either they or you are in a relationship.

Sensmind · Answer

I am inclined to think C - You probably have to be very nuanced about it - In life a lot of social/sexual/romantic politics works at a subconscious level - Some people are just flirty and never take it any further, if everybody subconsciously on board, you see a lot of innocent flirting going on.
It only becomes possibly crossing any line if the flirtation is based on serious attraction and growing intent to do something about it but that is a whole different debate.
As I said earlier, everybody has to be on board, flirting with an uptight settled person to rattle them would be a mean thing to do

Moonchild714 · Answer

I'm getting married Saturday and I still flirt, I've toned it down big time but still quite flirtatious its my nature. As long as neither person goes too far with it all is good. I always let someone know if they are getting close to the edge of line and need to step way back.

locoloco68 · Answer

I don't know anybody that sometime in there relationship that they wouldn't nothing wrong with a little flirting as long as it was words everybody needs the feeling being wanted a little chip on their shoulder give them the feeling that they still got it for instance me knowing and if I wanted to that I could give me that orgasm knowing I still had the thrill and excitement of the hunt I guess catch and release can be just as satisfying without actually cheating some people might say it's cheating but anybody says they don't look or fantasize get rid of them only going to hurt you in the long run we're human we're animals the acting pursuing and going through the motions of the Kill. That happens love isn't there. love 2 huge word and broad spectrum ask yourself you loves him or her or are you in love big difference

happyxzmeal · Answer

As dumb as my answer might sound, yeah and here's why. Firstly, if they flirt back it has nothing to do with you, they decided to, you didn't force them. Secondly, if you really do some harm, they're relationship wasn't that strong to start with and thirdly, just because we flirt doesn't necessarily mean that I really want you. I might be practicing my flirt skills.

chistonejr · Answer

I don't think it is okay. You doing that is disregarding how the other person might feel if they spot that. There is one thing if someone doesn't care about that kind of behavior, but that usually is not the case.

To be honest, it is a little disrespectful if you ask me.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

It is just flirting. A lot of guys at GaG really need practice at just being a flirt. Everything is always so serious. They go hit on a girl and it is all or nothing. Either they hit a home run or they strike out.

How about just focus on hitting singles for a little while?

As for women, I think most flirt a lot.

winterfox10 · Answer

The only time it's okay is if the person who is in the relationship is the one initiating. I know that people are going to think I'm an asshole for saying this, but the reality is that people in relationships need to take steps on their own, to ensure that their environment and behavior are conducive to having a healthy relationship.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Once i know a girl is taken i don't flirt with her
I have a Therapist who is age 23 and the last
meeting she was telling me Happy Thanksgiving
but i notice she tried to get me to flirt with her
and i never done it cause she got a boyfriend
she is very pretty but i can't do anything and
i refuse to give her compliments cause that
would be over boundaries.

Screenwriter · Answer

There is innocent flirting and not so innocent flirting. If it becomes obsessive with one person and overtly sexual and some sort of "relationship" develops, then it's not OK. Teasing someone at a party is light entertainment.

Jjpayne · Answer

I think it's fine as long as her and the boyfriend don't take it seriously. But being playful with each other can be funny

livvvooo · Answer

Depends on your intentions. If your joking it’s whatever. But if you are trying to get together with them, really need to wait till their out of their relationship. Don’t start unnecessary drama for someone in a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to do it a lot, just for fun and to make her feel good... some would stop me because they're in a relationship, some would appreciate it, some would flirt back.
Until the last time, it got out of hands and went way bigger than i thought it would be, and she cheated on her boyfriend🙄
So i guess it really depends on the someone who is in the relationship of it would be okay to just flirt or if it would turn to something more

archiz · Answer

It is disrespectful to his partner. Don't do to others what you don't want happening to you.  I rest my case.💃

On_cloud_wine · Answer

I’m a naturally flirty individual. It doesn’t mean anything more. If I had a boyfriend, he would have to understand that.

Kurαȷ · Answer

It's always ok, I have zero obligation towards them or their partner. If they choose to flirt back or even dump their partner for me, that's their personal responsibility.

MrBrainstormer · Answer

It's fine as long as it is consensual by both, that someone who you are flirting with and his/her partner. It really dictates how open and trust worthy relationship that someone and his/her partner has. Ofc I don't need to tell you that the flirting is ought to be healthy.

Red_Arrow · Answer

I have been in many flirtations that were humorous and not serious. I was married and so were some of the "other parties". They never went too far or caused any problems.

WhiteShoulder · Answer

That's a VERY slippery slope, unless both parties clearly understand that the flirtation is just joking around.

poneglyphs · Answer

it depends on why you're flirting in the first place.

Daniela1982 · Answer

No, it's a cheap shot and the person should find someone not taken and grow up and get on Tinder or Instagram where they can flirt all they want.

ImSparkly · Answer

It takes two to tango? It’s hard to say with married guys though, I’ll flirt back but I don’t overtly start anything.

Cactusqueen · Answer

Technically if no one ever flirted in relationships then Jim and Pam from the office never would’ve gotten together

stardust101 · Answer

I don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do in front of my s/o. Just saying.

adamski24 · Answer

Yes flirting is just harmless fun we all do it without thinking about it

SimoneParker · Answer

Yes, it's fine. Just as long as the other person knows that you're only kidding around.

Anonymous · Answer

I work with this guy and we are both in healthy relationships and we would never cheat on our partners eith each other. But we are constantly flirting at work but not in a full on way bc it’s harmless and we r having fun

Anonymous · Answer

If it's like a playful flirt, like a work and nothing is gonna happen. But if its goes farther than flirting then I think that has a lot to say about both people and I think its extremely disrespectful.

arabgoddess · Answer

Hell no it ain't OK! If they don't respond, they would of made you look cheap, not a good look!

NickiB · Answer

No it's not okay. It shows a lack of respect to the person you're flirting with and their S. O.

MannySimms · Answer

Like getting your ass kicked and reputation ruined? Well, do you?

pigoat · Answer

Keep flirting because if you don't someone else will anyway

worldscolide · Answer

Never acceptable.. Only home wreckers and cheaters would disagree with that.

Browneye57 · Answer

Everybody flirts. Mature adults get do CHOOSE what they ACT on.

Wowgirl30q · Answer

Theirs a cut off line in general but if it's a friend's guy absolutely not.

Anonymous · Answer

Not cool, I will fuck that bitch up for even trying.

Agem123 · Answer

Why would I flirt with someone taken when there are plenty of single guys?😂

Adamant4fun · Answer

Its just exciting, and inherent in some peoples genetic make up.

kill_joy69 · Answer

Flirting is flirting it's not that bad unless it leads to something else

Jessi_Clem · Answer

That is never okay. I consider that a form of infidelity.

Anonymous · Answer

I am 23, and hate this generation. NO its never ok. when I am in a relationship , or know a girl is, I respect them , and my partner.

anube · Answer

Thier the ones who are getting it on the side back front down low

Cleo81 · Answer

I do it all the time but I flirt with both it gets me little more money.

Furuok · Answer

But who wants to deal with okay everyday just have fun. The one cheating going to get in trouble and all we have to do is ignore them. Fun for a weekend!

edwilliams580 · Answer

Nothing wrong with a bit of harmless flirting... its all part of the banter

westwordbound · Answer

And the same person with all equal was NOT in a relationship would they still be as attractive?

Anonymous · Answer

My ex girlfriend flirted with her female friend all the time. I flirted with her once and I didn't hear the end of it.

Paris13 · Answer

"B" Is Best from the Rest, Bee. xx

pleasestopthis · Answer

Never okay in my opinion. It's called respect.

ultimega · Answer

So long as they know the line

Supermosh1990 · Answer

Yeah as long as he doesn’t flirt back

Gedaria · Answer

As long as it isn't too sexy...

Big-A · Answer

It's on them to not cheat, so no harm no foul.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course not Remember, emotion, is always the enemy of TRUE JUSTICE

alance99 · Answer

Yea its fine as long as its healthy flirting

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

Those are the most fun ones sonetimes

JesseTheMan · Answer

I dunno. Probably depends how serious it is.

Is it ever okay to flirt with someone that you know is in a relationship?

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