Do you usually take a compliment about your appearance as flirting, or just as someone being nice?

Question

I was thinking about this because I picked up a food order earlier and randomly told the guy I liked his smile. I genuinely just meant it as a compliment, but.. then he turned around and asked for my number haha.

So now I’m curious… when someone compliments your appearance, do you automatically think they’re flirting or interested in you? Or can a compliment just be a compliment?

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

I NEVER assume a compliment is anything other than a woman being polite or trying to start a conversation. Because even though few women throw out compliments to random men they have no interest in, sometimes that's exactly what's going on. And even if it is flirting, IMHO it's a bad look for a man to start drooling at the first hint of interest from a woman. As the English would say, bad form old boy. Here is the USA we'd say be cool fool. So I'll just give them a smile and a polite cool thank you and read no more into it.

But if she keeps throwing out compliments, moves in close, keeps touching my arm, or shoulder, or hand, OK, I get it, let the flirting begin.

And after she compliments my skin (happens a lot?). My nose. My voice (happens a lot?). It's becomes apparent she's been paying very close attention to me. When she cites some previous time she's seen me, and recounts what I did or said, even though I don't recall ever seeing her before, it tells me I've been on her mind for more than the last 5 minutes and this conversation did not start by chance. Still, be cool fool. She's putting herself out there. Don't call attention to it, just roll with the vibe in the moment.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Almost every time... I take it as just being nice. Unless a girl specifically tells me she's into me, I don't assume otherwise. I tend to give compliments to others often when I'm out out, even strangers and it doesn't necessarily mean I want to date them. I also tend to get "You have beautiful eyes" pretty often, so it's a dangerous game to assume every girl who says so is interested, when I'd assume less than 5% are.

DishLady · Answer

Depends who says it and how we feel about each other. "Hey, haven't seen you in ages! Looking good!" with a warm friendly hug is a clear "just friends" vibe (though one person i recently said that to apparently thought i was flirting and had to be kindly released from my friends and acquaintances). "Hey, I love that shirt on you, it really makes your eyes pop" (but he's doing his scantron glance and not looking at my eyes right away) is clearly flirting. So is giving a compliment then looking down at your shoes with a smile as if you were shy to offer the compliment.

ohsheeT · Answer

I look at it as just being honest

It's like with you when i first seen you I said damn she is beautiful I wasn't flirting or trying to be nice

I was just being honest

But if I say it again I guess im going to be flirting lol

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I'm 71 years old. If anyone compliments my appearance, I take it as a damned lie!

WhiteSteve · Answer

You must’ve been absent for that day at the Hot Chicks Academy or something…. you don’t get to do that, lmao. You gotta know these dudes are DESERT-thirsty out here🥵 There are no innocent compliments for them; only invitations😂

Nobody is out here complimenting our dusty asses, lmao, so when it DOES happen, it’s like it’s our lucky day. Some dudes will lose their cool completely. Also, in our own courtship training, Lesson 1 is “walk up to her and give her a compliment” (which is often bungled and unoriginal, lmao)

But the whole point is: walk up, insinuate attraction with a targeted compliment, read her reciprocal energy (the most commonly failed step, lmao), and either continue the charming process, or gracefully move on if she doesn’t seem to be feeling it.

Any compliments from women to men will likely be read in this way, for better or for worse, haha. You’re seemingly approaching us with our own hunting tactics😝

https://www.youtube.com/embed/90qpDg5y7Lo

Lmao, as I get older and presumably less attractive, those compliments definitely seem to be coming more infrequently. The outlier is my current crazy hair. Women compliment it ALL THE TIME. “I love your hair” or “I wish I had your curls”…. but I can tell they aren’t like “YOU look good”, lmao. They just wish my hair was on their head. I could not be any less fuckable with this hair, I’m not unaware😂😂😂 So it’s easy for me to discern compliments from courting; it takes out ALL the guesswork…but less ridiculous looking guys might actually think they have a shot, lmfao

So you gotta be careful out there. A lot of beautiful women are mean, at least in dealing with rando dudes. A gal like you comes waltzing in, outgoing, talking about liking somebody’s smile, 9-out-of-10 dudes are just thinking “JACKPOT.”😂😂😂 This is the flip-side of “pretty privilege”😜 I wish I was kidding more about this, but I’m kinda serious; it’s not you, it’s the fellas, lmfao

Anonymous · Answer

I take it as a setup. Women by in large do NOT genuinely compliment guys when they're attracted to them. Most do not genuinely compliment men to be nice. Women just typically do not compliment men.😆 UNLESS she has an Ulterior motive. She WANTS something!

If i had been the guy i would smiled, said thank you, and then spent the next 15 minutes in my head asking myself what were you trying to gain by having said that.

It is funny that you ask this question, because it HAS been asked before on G@G (by me for one😆). And the overwhelming majority of the women said they do not compliment men for the reasons you said. The fear of it being misinterpreted. Ironically, a woman that responded complimented me for, you guessed it, because she had a ulterior motive to get closer to me.

It's funny the way humans work isn't it? When we have an interest in someone we kind of stop being who we are. It doesn't make necessarily what we do nefarious. But it's kind of goofy how we change to try and write the narrative about ourselves to the other person.

thegreenyogi · Answer

I try not to lean in too much to the idea that it's always necessarily flirting because that's my ego or vanity talking. I'm a very humble person so I usually just take the compliment for what it is. Just a compliment and say thank you without spiralling into God knows what fantasy.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

In the scene you're talking about, I'd believe you'd be flirting, because I'd take your statement as something heavily warm, intimate in fact, something a lover says. Which also means I'd be thrown off instead of asking for your number lol, because we wouldn't be lovers but strangers instead

And that sums up how I take compliments about appearance, since from experience, they are never told by someone I don't know enough, which makes them de facto personal

Joshydavid25 · Answer

If it's something general like "I like your hair" or "I like your suit" or even "You have a pretty smile".. I take it as just a compliment.. Hell even if it's "you're really handsome".. I know that a lot of women compliment, even if they're physically attracted to you and go on about their day.. So really I don't take any compliment as an invitation, even if they call me "sexy"..

DecentMan · Answer

I think it depends how you say it - if you keep it friendly and factual as opposed to leaning in and showing signs of flirting then perhaps it can work. I saw a girl with beitiful eyes outside a cafe and wanted to tell her but I thought perhaps she’d be concerned I was coming on to her. Perhaps wrong?

sage2021 · Answer

Just someone being nice.

But I am kinda blind at knowing when guys are checking me out and flirting with me.

Patrick used to tell me that guys are checking me out every time we go somewhere.

Gee, that's probably why I have been single for most of my life. Cause I never see guys checking me out.(Even in my 60's this was happening with younger guys.)

NathanDavis · Answer

can be both, or none... can be something else but more than anything... it is people being nice and social, that's all... a bit of fun

Anonymous · Answer

Men very rarely get compliments. I know, I know some woman is going to say that’s not true I compliment my boyfriend or husband all the time. But the reality of it is no we really don’t get compliments. If I do receive one I just say thank you, I don’t think much of it.

texasgirl012 · Answer

It's often flirting, but also a lot of times the guys know they have no chance with me, and they just want to get closer and learn more. It's still a sexual nterest, but more like guys who wind up sitting in a corner and touching themselves while they watch. If they can't have it, they still want to know what it's like so they can imagine.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I usually just ignore it if it comes from most men. Compliments from other women I take far more seriously.

Iron_Man · Answer

if somebody flirts with me, it means they like you and I take it as a compliment not as they’re just being nice. Woman are very selfish and they’re not gonna waste their time unless they like you

Elliegirl · Answer

I usually take it as a compliment. It really depends on how it’s presented

lilBigPotato · Answer

It really depends on the context. Who said it, how and when.

DonaldDarko · Answer

Usually women are flirting when they say stuff like that. Not that they're necessarily very interested but they're flirting.

blshbnz · Answer

Depends how they say it. I don’t like the word sexy, or hot. I prefer beautiful, gorgeous, stunning. I can usually tell if a guy is flirting with me or genuinely being nice.

dragoblack · Answer

i just assume they are moking me or just being nice, because that's my experience, unless they give me envy-complements. Usually when I'm called sexy, hot, or cute, it's in a sarcastic wooing from people driving by, or it's because they want something from me or used as a manipulation tactic... which is normally they want money or me to join their OF or sexcam site. It's insanely rare that i ever get a genuine compliment.

TonyMetal___1986 · Answer

Stop your naughtiness miss phoenix from bouvet island, we all know you're compliments are never innocent 😂😂

Anonymous · Answer

If someone do it to me I wouldn’t assume they want me dating them

exitseven · Answer

I dont know. Nobody ever complimented my appearance before.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

If she's hot I take it as flirting, if not I take it as just being nice.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

It depends. Like if it's a girl and she's looking me up and down that's flirting but if she kinda just says it in passing or in literally any other way then I never have any idea what to think

MemeSupreme · Answer

flirting altho it really does depend on whats said and how they say it sometimes its obv that they’re just being nice

Sunshinelips · Answer

Men don’t get compliments so I imagine they would see it as flirting or we are taking the piss

Suit_n_Ty · Answer

The only people who compliment my appearance are people within a certain circle: Family.  Tells a story on my physical attributes, not much to see here.

Beckybooboo · Answer

I usually take it as flirting it's it's from a guy but I still appreciate it lol

RavVid · Answer

From his view... You liked his smile. So he immediately had a better chance with you than any of the other random girls.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I usually take it as them being nice, but sometimes I’m wrong

msc545 · Answer

I take it it is an unconvincing and insincere attempt at manipulation.

Xdressertiff · Answer

Just being nice. I would love to get a compliment when I dress up in women's outfits but unfortunately that'll never happen

choco-latte · Answer

I guess it depends on the tone. Usually I just take it as them being nice.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It's just a compliment unless she says it a certain way and/or follows it up in a more obviously flirtatious way.

Bricealan · Answer

@7phoenix7 I never read into a nice compliment. It's just that. A compliment.

Texaskid1 · Answer

Someone being nice.  I have learned that unless she does not grab my crotch it is not flirting.

Shiprex · Answer

Never taken this as flirting as the potential drama is not worth the risk

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Just being nice, people don't flirt with me.

Velocityven · Answer

Funny enough I've got a jab at my appearance for flirting, the compliments I get are about my t-shirts normally and funny enough by random people on the street too and they are not flirty

Extraterrestrial1999 · Answer

If the person gives me multiple compliments then maybe

Paraskeví9 · Answer

Sometimes ask for your number could be testing the waters.

Anonymous · Answer

Women don't compliment me. I've maybe had three total in my life.

queenofcardio · Answer

I take it as just a compliment.

Annie12509 · Answer

Depends on context

Kassandra1994 · Answer

Not exactly I take it as a possitive vibe.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

It's just a compliment. No big deal lol

Alex-Snow · Answer

I just take it as a compliment not flirting.

Kelly6 · Answer

@7phoenix7 Always take complement

jamesgoldman · Answer

They're lying to part me and my money most likely

zagor · Answer

Just being nice.

canamlusciouslad73 · Answer

The absolute truth, in my case.

jahaims · Answer

Depends on the context

dudeinohio · Answer

Take a compliment as a compliment.

wkhan_87 · Answer

I don't know... I couldn't understand

CubaPirate · Answer

The later mainly

MasterKS · Answer

First need to know its honest.

browsingthroughthe · Answer

Both actually 😋

Markella83 · Answer

I say both.

ZarektheVos · Answer

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Do you usually take a compliment about your appearance as flirting, or just as someone being nice?

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Do you consider it flirting if someone gives you a compliment on your appearance?

Do you usually take a compliment about your appearance as flirting, or just as someone being nice?

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