What have I been missing?

Question

For the past few days I have been seeing really attractive men in my workplace.

After years of being isolated from the real world, I'm finally seeing attractive people again. And it's like why did I ever think about going on dating apps when there are plenty of options in the real world.

I just have to stop being so awkward and become approachable.

Oh I also have been getting several compliments about my outfits and face. Which I found kind of shocking because I dress like a librarian and my face is meh.

But then this guy today gave me a look and it made me feel so gooey inside. He reminded me of my first. Not my ex-boyfriend but the first guy I slept with.

I wish I could have spoke more to him than what I did but it was in a professional setting so I couldn't plus I'm really shy and awkward.

I think he's a coach so I may have to check out a game lol

Veronika_p · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I think you’ve been missing real-life exposure more than anything else. Sometimes when you spend years isolated, you forget how different it feels to actually be around people, make eye contact, notice someone’s energy, and realize, “Oh… I’m attracted to people again.” 😅

And the compliments might be telling you something too. Maybe your perception of yourself has been much harsher than the way other people actually see you. You don’t have to suddenly become outgoing or completely change who you are. Being shy doesn’t mean being unapproachable.

As for the coach… 😂 I’d say enjoy the little crush, but don’t build an entire love story around one look. A look can mean attraction, curiosity, or absolutely nothing. If you happen to see him again, just smile, say hello, and let the interaction develop naturally. You don't have to become a different person to be approachable...

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

Massive congratulations on being back in the real world, now just make sure you stay here please.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yea I prefer meeting girls’ in public instead of the internet , but I still use both. I just think public is easier to meet someone , because you can see each others’ body language and each other immediately compared to not seeing body language or each other at all. When you meet someone on the internet , it’s more imagination over anything , because sadly a lot of people post pictures of themselves that they feel they look the best in , but if you meet them in person , they might not look the same. Why I won’t meet anyone off the internet unless we video chat with each other first. The internet is filled with scammers and catfish , and liars , so it’s best to play it safe than sorry. When I meet a girl in public , we pretty much already broke the ice between us immediately , because we can actually see each other and see each others’ body language towards each other , and go right into getting to know each other , I don’t care what anyone else says , but attraction is an important thing , it’s not the top thing , but it definitely is important. I have talked to some girls’ off the internet that I connected with , that looked good in her pictures , but when I saw the real her , I was no longer attracted to her and I considered her a liar for not showing me her current self. I felt like I wasted my time getting to know this girl because I no longer felt the same as I did. Why people should be honest about themselves right from the beginning , instead of stringing someone along hoping they will accept them no matter what. We can’t force ourselves to be attracted to someone that we aren’t attracted to. There is a girl on here that was inboxing me and she seemed like a nice girl and she looked good in her profile picture , so we started chatting and getting to know each other , and then when I saw her Instagram , she wasn’t to same girl I imagined , I felt bad to tell her that I am no longer attracted to her that she isn’t my type whatsoever , so I told her we can still be chat friends but that’s it, because I am not atttacted to her anymore. People shouldn’t lie about themselves especially if they are showing interest in to someone that are interested in. Lying is stupid to do because it won’t get you anywhere with the person you are interested in , once they realize you lied about yourself , they more than likely won’t waste anymore of their time on you.

ohsheeT · Answer

In life some times it hurts so much we take a break and just stop

We isolate ourselves we become very deep think very deep to try to understand things in life it's one of the best things in the world you can do especially if you turn off all the noise

And either when we are ready or we are basically forced to we step outside again breathe the fresh air and look at life In a Different Light because we are a Different Light we become a Different Light internally first

I would say please hold on to your awkwardness your shyness and whatever else you think that you might have that make you feel stranger weird or whatever because those are some of the best parts about you when you can smile at yourself for doing something silly when you can be the true you you

You have been like a seed under the dirt in darkness and the moment you stepped outside you started to grow even more and all it's going to take is a little bit of water and you will spurred up out of the ground into the light and allow yourself to be happy and you will just flower everywhere and you will find a new you

It's time no turning back give yourself to love that you need and everybody else will give you the same when they see you grow and glow

AviatorTom · Answer

Whatever you missed, sounds like you found it. Enjoy!

MrOracle · Answer

I'm going to say this with only the best of intentions, that you are able to find a man and be in a relationship.

You mentioned that you dress like a librarian, implying, to some degree, that you expect men only to give attention to women who dress closer to what a stripper might wear. That's because, like most women, you don't understand how men think.

Dressing in a more revealing way WILL get you more attention, yes, but unless you are only looking for casual sex, it will all be the WRONG type of attention. Men love to bang such women (and that's clearly what's on offer), but (most) men don't commit to such women.

(Most) men who are looking for a woman to commit to are looking for more conservative women - women who dress more modestly and are more feminine and family-oriented.

I think you have been giving off those more conservative vibes and you dress more modestly. That's far more attractive to "relationship men" than you seem to realize, and I'm not surprised that you are getting some attention. And it's likely the kind of attention that most women say they want, though clearly some of those women only say that for appearance's sake.

My point is: stop thinking you are doing something wrong when you are really doing it right, despite what your girlfriends and especially TikTok will tell you.

bobalife · Answer

I think it’s good you’re recognizing there are attractive people around you or you where you live! There’s honestly attractive anywhere on apps or in-person. I think it’s just being open minded where love can happen. It’s also fun having smol crushes right? You should give him eye contact and smile next time or even say hi 🥹
I always joked with my co-workers I looked like a librarian when I’m at work too, but I also get lots of compliments from both co-workers & patients. I actually think people like it where they respect me in my professional role with modesty, professionally, and being feminine. I’m sure they think of you in the same way ☺️

sage2021 · Answer

One of the things that my Patrick said that he liked about me when we first met is that he liked the way that I dress modestly.
Then he added that he can't stand when a woman dresses with her top she's wearing reveals her breasts. He said that it grossed him out when they were at a restaurant and her breasts would be on top of the table. Hehehe 🤭

About dating someone who you work with, well, I made that big mistake!!
You should never get your honey where you get your money. Where you work isn't like an in person dating site.

It probably feels good to get a compliment from a guy, and to be paid some attention to.

I believe that you might be deprived of that kind of attention and it feels good. But because your ex dissed you and made you feel like no matter what you did, you were never good enough to be his girlfriend again.

So, try to keep things in perspective and pump the brakes a little bit at work with the guys.

Still-alive · Answer

As a trend i think you’re much harder on how you look than you think. ;)

anyway yeah in person is definitely way better than relying on those dating apps where lets face it a lot of not good dating prospects go lol.

go get em girl! 🐅

Lynx122 · Answer

It's just fear. When you're scared and stressed you don't see people as attractive. When you feel more stable, comfortable and thriving then you see people as attractive.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Well fucking eh, finally. You're interacting with real men in the real world. Hallelujah. Told ya so. Don't ever go back on a dating app.

exitseven · Answer

there are definitely more attractive people around. There was a rash of retirements where I work and lots of new hires, Some are actually pretty good looking.

Staximus · Answer

Don’t get all twitterpated just because some guy makes googly eyes at you, you’re not a school girl anymore. You have a job to do that doesn’t include fooling around with your coworkers, unless you want to find yourself looking for a new job.

Iron_Man · Answer

Of course that’s gonna happen every man’s gonna be attractive to you. That’s like a prisoner being in prison for years and then when they get out, their eyes become real big and then they like every girl they see

molonski2 · Answer

And it shows the whole librarian thing actually does work ! Best is yet to come..

Shiprex · Answer

You've been avoiding contact and possible rejection and now you're becoming more receptive to the potential for something happening.

rgb008 · Answer

give him your number the next time you see him

TonyMetal___1986 · Answer

Shy? Yet you have slept with guys without marriage, that's the weird equation 😏

Anonymous · Answer

Just remember men differentiate between the women they are willing to fuck and marry

zagor · Answer

Probably from spending too much time on Sims...

NathanDavis · Answer

welcome to the world... lol

WhitneySnow · Answer

That’s wonderful!!!

WhiteSteve · Answer

Real life is the way👍

MrChinaski · Answer

Don't underestimate awkward librarian chic

Paige2006 · Answer

Wekcome back!

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Go do it!

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