Should I make a move on the girl I’m attracted to at the gym?

[Anonymous]

seriously boring day at gym but later on this girl and her friend appeared , never really seen them before and don't know enough about her to look her up online. so kind of left to fill in the pieces but she seemed really interesting , great combination of personality / body. feel like in the past let things like this drag on too long without saying something and then girl gets annoyed or i find out she already has a boyfriend months after first seeing her. i was just really attracted to her so i don't know

[HollyK21]

If she doesn’t work at those places you won’t stop going to, then sure. Anything to get you away from there and building your own life.

[HollyK21]

Damn! Never mind, just realized I commented on your post earlier, and you are talking about one of these girls you’re obsessed with at those places. Bro, what in the absolute heck is wrong with you? Leave her alone!

[Asker]

just meet this girl not obsessed with her , i suppose going to a gym is better than going to a pub where the girls already have boyfriend's and just want attention and money

[HollyK21]

Dude, you’re caught red handed, again. You just posted two completely different stories about the exact same girl on the exact same Monday afternoon to see if strangers would validate your behavior. In your first post, you admitted you've been tracking her since early summer, know who her mother is, and got furious because she “ghosted” you and “denied you what you want.” In your second post, you pretended she was a brand new stranger you “just met” so people would tell you to go make a move.

This contradiction indicates an attempt to alter the narrative depending on the audience, which avoids addressing the actual dynamics of the situation. Monitoring someone's schedule, tracking their changes in clothing, and feeling entitled to specific outcomes from casual interactions points to an unhealthy fixation.

The bitterness regarding women at pubs suggests ongoing resentment over boundaries that were set in past interactions. Bringing that same mindset to the gym environment creates an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. The inconsistent stories show that the reality of the situation is being avoided. The boundary has been clearly stated: leave this person alone.

[Asker]

no on Monday i saw a girl at gym who works at a store and ghosts me only to return a few weeks later she is friends with one of the girls who works at restaurant , i would like to resolve things with her somehow and work things out if possible but has been hard to make sense of and communicate with lately

the girl i saw today was not same girl , not sure who she is , new never seen at gym , not same girl at all

[Asker]

2 different girls don't even know 2nd ones name yet

[HollyK21]

I feel like you’re dodging the reality of what you just wrote, and maybe you don’t even see it. Even if they are two different women, the pattern you’re exposing is exactly the same and it is deeply alarming.

Look at your own words about Monday's girl: you want to “resolve things” and “work things out” with a woman who has explicitly ghosted you, told you that you are just friends, and got uncomfortable when you confronted her. There’s nothing to work out, dude. She is a casual acquaintance who is actively trying to distance herself from you, and you’re refusing to let her go. You’re now tracking her friends to connect her back to the sports bar.

And with today’s girl, you admit you know absolutely nothing about her, yet you are already projecting a “great personality” onto her and stressing out that she might have a boyfriend before you've even said hello.

You claimed going to the gym is better than going to a pub because pub workers just want attention and money. But you’re bringing the exact same entitlement to the gym. You’re treating both places like a hunting ground where you expect women to give you “what you want” just because you’re in the same room. You’re still trapped in the exact same loop of severe fixation and delusion. Stop trying to “resolve” things with women who don't want to talk to you, and leave them alone.

[Anonymous]

Sure get your shot