My boyfriend doesn't think he's good enough for me, how do I show him that he's not? That he is special

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend started telling me randomly tonight that he doesn't know why I'm with him because there is nothing good about him. He said he doesn't see what there is to like about him. I tried and tried to talk to him and to tell him how much I love him and how I feel about him, but no matter what I said he would get mad because he thinks I'm just settling for him and that I could do better. Though he kept saying over and over again how much he loves me and cares for me and I know he does love me and I love him and I know it's normal for people to feel that way about their partners but he seemed so serious about it and it almost sounded like he was going to break up with me about it. He said he wasn't going to, but I'm scared he might in the future. I love him to death and I think we're an absolute perfect match, I couldn't imagine anything better. So what can I do to convince him of how great he is? I've tried telling him and he just thinks I'm lying, but when I look at him I see someone loving, caring, fun, funny. smart, athletic, determined, motivated, confident, talented, handsome, and so much more, but why can't he see that?

[icelunax18]

Well it could be one of two things.

One he could actually think this, but stick by him. Show him that you're not settling, that you don't want anyone else. Get him random things, text him you love him at random moments. Just remind him. Or write him a letter telling him how you feel. [It worked with me lol]

the second thing, which I hope its not true in your case cause you seem so sweet but he could be telling you something. He might've said he doesn't want to break up with you but he might be hinting that he might've done something, or that he thought about it and feels guilty.

But because he's not being direct I can't be too sure. But just remind him that you love him, and if you write the letter, he'll see that you are head over heels for him. Tell him what you just wrote but in a letter, assure him that you have the best, and that you wouldn't settle for less, he might think he is, but tell him that he's the world's treasure.

Hope everything works out

[Newport100]

Ouch, I was hinking the same thing when you said "but he might be hinting that he might've done something" .I feel really bad saying this but I think he did something with another woman. I'm so sorry to say that, I really am. He loves you very much but keeping the truth from you is killing him. I feel like such a bastard for telling you this but you deserve honest opinions.

[ButterflyFields]

Apparently this guy has either a low self esteem, and he feels no matter what he does he'll never be perfect. I would first let him know the things you like about him, then ask him what he likes about you (I'm not talking superficial stuff either...So "looks" do not count) talk about the things he has done, the actual things...What is he motivated in...Give real details.

Then discus how much you both have in common, whether it's your goals or successes or just enjoying each others company or how much you both think /feel the same about any issues. Maybe then he will see you two really are a good match...And if he still doesn't feel you two belong together then there is nothing you can say or do to help him see what is in front of him. What does he think he deserves? And why? We all deserve the best...And we should never "settle" for less.

[kiki631]

There are lots of guys who have this type of relationship anxiety. He probably thinks that you are really amazing and special, and worries that you will find someone better. Most guys I have dated have acted this way... its normal... hopefully in time he sees your intentions and feelings. Good luck.

[downtown23]

My girlfriend is the same exact way. It doesn't make any since. She is actually trying to make me leave her only because she thinks she is not worth it. Try telling him that you should be able to decide on your own if he is good enough and that he should respect that. I want to warn you though because my girlfriend promised she would never leave me but... You may have done this, but try sitting him down for a serious conversation and don't get up until you completely understand every single part of why he thinks he isn't good enough. Then each and every day comfort him in these areas. One of my girlfriend's things was that she thought she was a bad girlfriend so I remind her often how amazing she is to me. I wish you the best of luck and may God be with you!

[Anonymous]

Hmm, to me I felt that and finally told the girl I was with at the time, along with that I thought she'd end up leaving me when she found someone better. I was right, she even said she never loved me and a bunch of things, but anyways, I would suggest basically what icelunax18

suggested about letting him know time to time, and showing him. But if you're really worried about him leaving you tell him, if he knows that he means enough to you that you get worried like that it should help prove to him that you love him and are not just settling. I hope this helps.

[Nikie]

I'm like this too, so I understand. Hopefully he's the romantic type, and you can try this:

Tell him he's your everything, with a kiss on the cheek.

At the very least, it'll probably melt his heart.

[Newport100]

Something is very wrong, very very wrong. I think he loves you to death but he did something wrong. I am so sorry.

[kiki631]

The "I'm so sorry" bit is needlessly patronizing and presumptuous when you have no information backing the inference that you have made.

[Meggi]

Isn't it sad when someone is so unsure of themselves that they can't see there worth more then this? You to tell your boyfriend what you told us or better yet show him this post.

[sumina7]

Are you guys still together?

[Anonymous]

Send him this link, silly!