Is it ok for your boyfriend to have female friends he talks to daily?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I have lived together for over 3 yrs. he has never given me any reason not to trust him. my ex husband cheated on me and I'm a little insecure my boyfriend has a few female friends one paticular that he talks to or text daily. I'm a little uncomfy with this since he has known her for a long time and about 4yrs ago one night they slept together but they both said its was weird and never happen again. I haven't met her due to her living 2hrs away am I over reacting or should I be worried? he thinks I don't trust him since I said I'm uncomfy with him talking to her so much? please help.

[palek]

I feel your pain. It makes it hard when partners have friends of the opposite sex. I'm uncomfortable with this too. But hows this sound: I've just ended a relationship (engagement) with a woman. I met and fell in love with her, THEN found out that she lives with her ex-lover! After 10 months, this had worn me to a frazzle. Just imagine it. Had a heart attack in August and I know was brought on by the stress. Personally, I don't keep close women friends because I know it will cause my partner to feel uncomfortable, and there are plenty of men to be friends with. But maybe I feel this way because I'd hate to be on the receiving end. I guess also, that I want my best friend to be my partner. But the older we get, the more baggage of this type exists. It sounds a little odd that your boyfriend would spend a lot of time talking to her. I mean its ok to keep in touch, but why go to extremes. Has this escalated since youve been with him? Trust is something that has to be earned and developed over time. Has your closeness to one another diminished over the 3 years? Guess it's a plus that she lives so far away at least. Hope it works out for ya. Wish I could be of more help

[MaxPrime]

hmmm... It's a toughy here. Why? Well when I'm dating a girl, I want to be able to simply talk/text them to if I have something to say. I wouldn't want to be so trapped either. Think about being in his shoes. Don't you have any guy friends that you simply talk to? I know naturally we are all insecure on some basis with this "he/she still talks to him/her" delima. But remember, he's coming home to you, not her. Just remember you would want to be trusted if you were in his shoes.

[Asker]

THANKS WAS HOPING FOR ANOTHER GUYS OPINION. JUST HARD TO NOT BE SCARED. THANKS AGAIN.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable, with your history I would be insecure too and warry of who I trust. I was once with a guy who used to chat with his ex all the time and he didn't tell her was with me. At first it bothered me because I thought it was weird he wouldn't tell her he was dating. But one day I just realized he did care about me and he was completely into me and that he wouldn't hurt me like that. It was kind of an awakening for me, I discovered that if I guy wants to be with you and only you he will show you. He will want to spend time with you and do things for you he knows you like.

So I think if your getting that attention from a guy then there is nothing to worry about.

[Asker]

Thank you. he has said he told her that he has a girlfriend and he has been with me for 3 years so maybe it is all good. thank you

[BBGyrl]

I have a very close male friend that I talk to frequently, I've known him before his current girlfriend but I've made it point to get to know her so that she wouldn't think that I had another agenda and secretly wanted him. I think that you should talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel especially after what happened between them a few years ago and how you feel about what happened with your ex-husband. Since she only lives 2 hours away maybe you guys can plan a day to get together so you can meet her and see what she's about from there you can see if you have a reason to to feel uncomfortable with their relationship.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice I think I will ask to meet her. and hope for the best.

[iLuhvK0tt0nKandii]

I mean, yes it is okay for you boyfriend to have female friends, but when it gets to the point where it bothers you, maybe you should let him know how you feel. You shouldn't feel threatened by another female when it comes to your man. Also, he should not be spending that much time talking/hanging out etc. with another female if he is already in a relationship. Comfront him!

[Kayaking]

It's not something you can do much about. For me, the issue is not about seeing other people, male or female, it's more about are they, or the attention they get; a distraction to the possibilities you two could have.

It's tricky, though, because most people feel more secure having a back-up plan, even if they would never admit that's what it was for them. And, it's probably more likely that it's perfectly cool and you have to look at whether you are being paranoid/over-reacting.

Not saying this works, but I always went with the "what's good for the gander is good for the goose" theory if your partner is letting their on-the-side buds get in the way and not responding to an honest inquiry as to are they a distraction to what we got.

[browolf]

maybe it would help if you met her, that way you can view her as a person and not an unknown. There's really no reason you shouldnt get to meet his friends at some point . Just noticed this has been said already.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice. I think I am going to ask to meet her.

[farmhand99]

yeh we can have friends of the opsitie sex

but let hom knopwhow you feel

[Asker]

Thanks

[sleepingcousins]

Here's some more insight on this topic: link