How to get over being "frigid" ?

[Anonymous]

This guy ask me out and I didn't want to say yes but I was pressured to say yes..so now he is my "boyfriend"and he hugs me and all in the public and I get really irritated and I've told most of my closest friends about this and they say that I'm frigid...also I get really shy when he hugs and gives me cuddles right in the public but I really do wanna stay with him but if don't wanna do PDA will it offend him ? and all I wanna know is how do you get over being frigid.. thank you

[EntropicDecay]

Oh, how I understand you ! I've been in a similar situation.

The thing is : it's not about you being frigid. It's about you not wanting to date him.

If you're not interested in him, there's no way you'll want to cuddle/kiss/whatever with him !

You're not attracted to him, and you can't change that. You didn't even want to say yes at first, I don't know how you could stay with him. It's not really fair to either of you : he believes you like him therefore he wants affection, and you don't really want him so you reject him.

The best thing you could do at this point is be honest with him : this relationship is not sane, and you'd be better off without it.

Good luck :)

[nandyme]

You are not being frigid. . You don't like him-you admitted it. So why would you be comfortable being with him? With a guy you really like, you won't have such problems. Don't let anybody decide whether on not you date,whom you date,etc. Talk to him about how you feel. If I were you,I would dump him.

[idontevenunderstand]

are you frigid with him when your alone? because you might be frigid with him and the public but when your on your own you feel alright with kissing and that lot because i dont like doing it in public but when im with my onnit partner im not frigid

[Mtsmith]

This isn't "frigid"...drop that idea. You are learning, and communication is the key. Talk, in person, tell him what you feel, and that you'd to scale back the PDA...he should understand.

The key to any interaction between people is you are comfortable with it. If he cares, he will listen.

[iNeedYourAdvice]

There isn't much you can do really. It's a personality trait. My advice to you is just continue trying to hug him, even try initiating some and maybe you'll get used to it.

[Confused-66]

Just talk to him and tell him how you feel, communication is the only answer to this, that way he will know that you are serious about this relationship but just tell him, this is not being frigid as such, sounds like maybe you are not used to all of this affection etc that he is giving you, just take it slowly and don't rush it, maybe this is your first serious boy friend so you are also anxious about this relationship in some way just tell the boyfriend and if he loves you he will understand.

[Storyteller13]

First off I don't think that's the proper use of frigid. Second, if you're going to be a relationship then communcation is key. Try talking to him sometime and let him know how you feel about that. There is no reason that you have to be uncomfortable just because you want to be in a relationship.

[Konnour]

You said everything correct.. except the will to get over your imaginary "frigidness"

Let's get the facts straight:

-it's apparent that you don't like him

-you admit that you were pressured to accept him

-saying that you're "frigid" is an attempt to manipulate you

If you're not comfortable doing anything, going out with anyone - you don't need to give a reason, just say "no" and stick to it, doesn't matter what anyone else might say or think.